The law of closure in which we tend to see the incomplete figures as a whole while ignoring gaps and missing spaces. This popular law of gestalt psychology, shape our over all perception indeed. We, not only perceive pictures as a whole, rather every thing as a whole. By nature we do not like to perceive gaps in our perceptions or we believe that our perception is perfect whatever it is. Therefore, in spite of looking at a disordered picture, we convince our self that the picture is complete, with no fault. To help you making a concrete picture of the law of closure, please have a look on this page:
Movies are good examples. When we watch a movie, we know a little about characters and their status; even then we believe in our perception and imagine the story is real. We try to fill all the gaps, errors, and loop holes while watching a movie silently. This is our nature and we cannot go beyond that. If the movie is a real pain in ass, we will try to collect all relevant information to convince ourselves that the movie is not worth watching. In either case, we will try our best to cover the missed information and believe in the fake story presented in the movie.
This law creates many emotional/relationship problems when we are shown a few traits of our friends or relatives and we perceive them as a whole. Suppose you see a person who always greets you and talks nicely on phone. You can quote a few other things with his reference and that’s all. Now as far as personality traits are concerned they are countless and perceived in thousand ways by different people in different timings. You only know a little about your friend if you ask any psychologist about it. However, you have made your perception and that is not going to change through any rational argument. This is your nature – perceive things as a whole.
By contrast, when we try to perceive things correctly, our own perception is considered faulty and distorted among our family members and friends. In this case, you may argue that your friend is nice when his mood is high or on the day his pay arrives in the bank; on other days, he is little rude and clumsy. You could even analyze more correctly and precisely but that means you are not very much with your friend. There are many chances that your friend would keep you away from his list of friends. So the truth is that people not only perceive the information as a whole (whether it is faulty, incomplete or fake) rather like them to be perceived as a whole in the eyes of others.
We hate criminals due to their crimes but we actually do not know how many good deeds they have also completed so far. As we know a few crimes of a person, we make the picture of his whole personality instantly and believe on that till our last breath. When we hate someone for some reason, we cannot say we hate him for that reason only; otherwise we love him. Either we love someone or not, we hate someone or not; we cannot do both at the same time with full logic. All of our perceptual tendencies force us to believe in one reality and leave the other distracters, dissimilarities, and ambiguities.
This is true not only in relationships, rather we want to perceive the Higher Power ( the God) as the only one without any fault and limitation. In all over the world, in almost all the religions, people believe in such power and fill in the blanks themselves. Their perception about the god is complete, with no question mark and suspect. This is our true nature and we just cannot go against it. The people who find errors in their concept of believing in God, simply leave the idea. They do not believe in God. However, we cannot find people who claim that they believe in God in these matters and under specific circumstances and do not believe in Him in these cases. This is harsh but indispensable truth ; either we believe or not!
What is this discussion all about? It is to convey you that you cannot perceive the whole person in your whole life exactly in the way you need to perceive. You will only join the dots ( those you are exposed to) and make a picture in your mind according to your rules of perception. When your perception is so faulty, how can you trust on it? When you cannot trust on your perception; how can you say that that person is going to be a loving partner in your future life? Crazy thought! Is not it? You are badly trapped and your mind is still not convinced on the logic I have just given. That is why it is said that what we see is usually what we want to see. There is no formula to check other person’s behavior crystal clear and that is a blessing in disguise!
What do you think if we are able to see things in parts ( not as a whole) with respect to their attributes, limitations, and faults? Should we , then, able to love anything/anyone around us so purely and genuinely?