Should money be the root cause of all​ happiness!

 

 

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I always cherished wealth as something beautiful, alluring and mind-blowing thing to feel proud of. I have never thought my life ahead without my pretty, ambitious desires, wishes, and aspirations. I thought it is the only form of happiness one could achieve by hard work and motivation. I thought I need to have a rich background if I want so and so….

Now I feel I was 100 percent wrong. People still would not feel like me – as it is very hard to realize what it is in the actual sense. Let me give you some examples:

A person dying from any trivial form of cancer would be ready to give his all belongings to you in return of his health!

A person who wants to become a parent would be much likely to spend all his wealth to fulfill his/her ultimate desire!

A person who is crazy for being socially acceptable and popular artist, would not care for his wealth in case he needs to spend it lavishly to achieve his goal!

A person who wants to settle down abroad might empty his all bank balance to create a life of his own choice!

Anyone who is crazy for someone or something could sacrifice much more wealth than he realizes for that very cause. Nothing wrong with it.

In short, we, basically, follow our desires, aspirations, and inspirations in life after fulfilling our basic needs of food, health, and shelter. And we are always ready to spend on such wishes, no matter how strange they are in the eyes of others. In other words, our wishes or needs (not basic) are our bosses who control us and make us think about them. We for most of the time are under such influence and for a very short time act wisely. It creates a vicious circle of desiring and fulfillment – after one wish always there is one more. Should it ever stop! Just like hope, such desires never stop, rather should not stop. The only thing we could do better is to control these loops through planning wisely. We can focus on our long-term goals and leave other distractions at all. After fulfilling our basic needs, we should not be controlled by others: marketers, business men, customer seekers, or any other entrepreneur. These people would never let us follow our real goals and distract us from achieving them by hard ways. Therefore, it is our duty to carry out all that is needed to follow our goals of life and spend money in the right direction, not anywhere else.

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Thus, money itself is not helpful in any way; rather it provides us ways to satisfy our needs – need to fulfil our hunger, need to have a shelter, need of dressing up, need of maintaining social status, need to learn, need to become a healthy person, need to explore the world in depth, need to get married, need to get trained and need to earn more and more. It implies that if you are a needy person- you would need money and at the same time you would not need money if you are satisfied with your life overall. If all said above is true, whom, you guess should be the wealthiest person of the world!

Change Your Mind-Set And Leave You Focus On!

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We all have different kinds of mind-sets, personalities, attitudes, beliefs, values, predispositions, perceptual tendencies, and habits overall. We live by our behavioural, cognitive and emotional trails in one way or the other. These traits are our identity, pride, recognition, esteem, and means to survival. We belong to them, as they belong to us. Now let me introduce you a few examples from day to day life:

When a child asks for a specific toy- he only wants that kind of toy. He would never be happy with any other toy until or unless that toy meets the same need. So for the child, the toy is not important, rather more important is the specific requirement of that toy; the quality of the toy; or the special ability of that toy.

When you go for shopping with a mind-set, you do not compromise. You try your best to find what you need. For example, you need a mobile carrying a special feature (may be powerful camera); you would never be comfortable with any other mobile set. As you need a specific thing, you do not care for other features of other mobiles. Yes, you would be happier if you get both: the required features and other enhanced features as well.

Similarly, we look for something special in our mate. That something special might be anything from a simple gesture to a variety of personality traits. When we find that particular trait in someone, we fell in love. We do not care whether he/she has something else or not. We just want that special thing- and nothing else. Though after some time, we are quite adapted to that trait and other things start to interfere. Then we realize our mistake.

This is very much true for other areas of life. When we choose a profession for a special reason in mind; we ignore other aspects of it. We join that and regret after some time as we come to know that we are compromising a lot for our love and choice. Then we realize that one thing should not be given top priority in any situation until or unless it is our complete compulsion or limitation.

The truth is that in life, one should not focus on one particular way of living. With a specific mindset, one cannot earn total satisfaction and would lack other important and beautiful gifts of nature. Indeed, there are a thousand ways of living, countless thoughts to ponder with, limitless sources to explore, and a great number of things to enjoy, learn, focus on, deal with and to rest upon. Thus, when we travel with a particular belief in mind about anything in this world; we could be blessed to that particular thing, anyhow, but the rest of, is compromised. Whereas when we look for happiness with open heart without being prejudice; we attract all pleasures of all types in the most harmonious combination to please us, secretly, in the best everlasting manner.

How Can You Feel Happy Always!

Today I taught myself the definition of Happiness that would best satisfy me at lease and that I want to share with you so that you could think it over too. You might have the same meaning like me so this mail will affirm your belief too.

When we say happiness is something you want to get ( a materialistic approach) whether it is a car, house or laptop- after having that you will be adapted to it soon. So your happiness span will not sustain at that point. Research on happiness has proved that wealthy people are not necessarily happy people.  To defend the same concept, you can find thousands of examples online too.

Secondly, happiness is taken as a temporary feeling. You will be happy today and unhappy tomorrow. So your happiness depends on several trivial factors that make you happy. You can try some tricks like doing exercise, going for a walk, doing yoga or any other meditation, having a social circle of friends, and living on some beach side , or listening to soothing tunes, to boost your happiness level; but you cannot fully control your emotions and will not always become happy by trying these tips.

When you say your happiness depends on your family structure. You are again in blind valley. Sometimes events will go smoothly to make you happy and other times, you would become the victim. You cannot fully depend on your relatives to make you happy otherwise you are at high risk of feeling dejected, cheated and molested.  So this definition is not for everyone- might work for someone at a particular time.

You might be thinking, then what is happiness? For some who stand below poverty level, happiness is fulfilling their basic needs. For the sick people, happiness is being healthy and nothing else. For the students, happiness to a large part, revolves around their marks and exam success. For a professional, happiness is to achieve their goals: short term or long term. For a businessman, happiness rests in having lots of profit and earn more. Thus, for each one of us, criteria of  happiness, being distinct from others,  changes with time, age and experiences. Not even a small group of people share the same criteria of happiness fully. Yes, on some matters, people could agree to become happy together.

Principally, happiness is God’s way of giving a reward to His creation. He decides whom to give, when to give and how much to give. When we do good, feel good or positive, and believe in goodness, we are blessed with a great amount of happiness and peace of mind. You would not believe that some people among us, receive from God,  the immeasurable pleasure, ecstasy and peace, continuously and persistently,  for the unlimited period of life, in the form of a compensation for their sacrifices to humanity, gratitudes, and compassion.

Here it is again important to keep in mind that it is not important to do something great to please God for the gift of happiness rather a small gesture, a little good feeling and a sudden good thought could bring a lot of happiness in your life if it is capable of drawing your creator’s attention towards you. There is no science  or there is a science beyond your expectation and capability!

Thanks

A Word To MY Fellow Bloggers

Today I was wondering why my blogs are not getting attention after doing so many things and after having thought on topics of my interest for such a long time. I was having a mad mood throughout the day  while feeling same lack. I was wondering why my blogs are not worth reading by the viewers. Then I kept on thinking on the same lines and thought my books are not getting attention. No one has ever checked them. I had a stomach ache all the way coming to home from the market. No argument could convince me for my bad luck and hopelessness.

I was nearly fainting when a sudden thought came to my mind, and I would like to share it with you so that you could also get some spirit at your low times, the feelings were like that:

Mona, you know the best ever knowledge in this world is the least expensive, even then people are not ready to get it in their spare time. You can find all religious books online for free to read or download like the Bible, Quran, and many others. You know the best ever content is there and people are not bothered much to read it for themselves. Then how can they become motivated to read you whereas you have just stepped in, in the blog market.

Mona, in todays modern world, people are more interested to buy dreams, unreal, and fiction stories than non-fiction and hard cruel realities. People would like to waste money on non-sense fashion, movies and glamorous shows as compared to reading free library books while sitting in the library or at home. People would most likely convince themselves to buy products to comfort their bodies than buying some books to ease their souls. People are more interested to go on Facebook to make new friends and have a chit chat than reading blogs – especially yours.

Mona, you need to be patient and consistent if you really want to have viewers daily. It does not mean that you are not worth blogging, it means you need to bring some changes in your attitude and schedule to make your blog a real show. It does not mean you only take care of the choice of your viewers rather it means you present your views in the most acceptable and challenging way. Your style should be unique and convincing otherwise you will lose all!

What do you think, is it a good advice that I should consider? If you have another suggestion for me, please let me know. I would be highly grateful to you as this is my beginning and I have to improve all the time continuously and persistently.

Thanks

Fashion Culture In Pakistan

Fashion is not bad rather a need in today’s modern lifestyle. It is not limited to only dress out-fits rather covers all aspects of life from home-décor, gardening, cultural things, vehicles, traditions, parties, vacations, hobbies, professions, to beliefs,values, thoughts, priorities and identities. In almost every culture of the world, we can see it flourishing to some extent whether it is related to new trends in dresses, haircuts or tends in buying luxury cars, villas, or resorts. Unfortunately, in Pakistan, it has become a need!

Now the question is:Is fashion a need, a source of self-esteem, a status symbol, a sense of well-being or a source of low self-esteem, an unfailing desire, a cause of poverty, a feeling of lack? What is fashion in a country where more than 80 percent of the population cannot afford food, electricity, shelter, clothing, peace, education, and health?

Our country has not been developing for many years. We are facing many challenges: Taliban crisis, security crisis, poverty crisis and safety crisis. We have unemployment, crowded roads, filthy water, and no gas at all in many parts of the Pakistan. Still, we need fashion for our survival!
Recently, I have seen many places in our country and met many people in general from bottom line to the cream.People, especially, women are spending their most of the time in planning to wear fashionable outfits, striving to look like models in the fashion industry; they are interested in changing hair color; they care for their interior décor; they care for their bags and nails! Usually fashion takes priority when it comes to spend something after buy essential food items.

Fashion is not bad if you want to do it for some purpose. But if you have no healthy food at home, you have no money left for your health needs, for your educational needs, for your shelter needs, you are making a big mistake by adopting a fashionable lifestyle and promoting it at the same time.
Being a nation, as a whole, we need to think about it. We are not having enough resources to fulfill our basic needs (food, shelter, safety), and until our level best, are striving for looking good in the eyes of others.

Here are some guidelines to improve the economy of our country through a change in the attitudes of people:

1. Usually people serve their guests with as many dishes as possible. One must not serve more than one dish to the guests, whether they belong to close family, high status family or distant family.

2. In Pakistan, people simply do not like to re-wear the same item in the family function due to social and cultural pressures and honor’s sake. One should wear the same out-fit repeatedly to attend parties, functions, marriages, etc. Until it is worn out.

3. One should not spend a lot in using electrical equipments like A.C., Generators, or U.P.S., as none of these will be helping our country to get rid of electricity crisis.

4. One should not use any penny on anything non-essential whether it is an upgraded mobile phone or it is a new pair of shoes with jewels embedded on it.

5. Why wear a lot? It neither is in the favor of the economy nor is perfect according to religion. As per our religion, one must not exceed limits in any matter of life, whether it is a matter of money or matter of clothing. One should only spend on clothes according to his/her budget and specific need in the most respectful way- nothing more.

6. Every woman needs to work whether at home or out of home, whether paid or unpaid, whether for the sake of family or to the sake of self. No one should remain unemployed unless otherwise stated (due to some specific health reasons).

7. Luxury in food must be controlled whether it is related to domestic cooking or food marketing. In domestic cooking, simple and easy food should be encouraged, promoted and liked in general. Food marketing strategies must be refreshed and regularized such as advertisements of unhealthy products, offers of unhealthy food in restaurants, and promotions to invite people in some status symbol restaurants.

8. The security of one person should not be considered as the individual’s only responsibility. One must complain for other’s mistakes to the relevant authority for the matters like offending someone, harassing someone, looting, cheating or stealing etc.Similarly, one must notice dirty and filthy places and complaint about it to the concerned authority.

In the country where the laws and the structure of the economy is deteriorating day by day, people are usually encouraged to change their lifestyle from fashion to simplicity, from status to necessity, and from luxury to needs oriented attitude.Until the time, law-enforcing agencies take action and notice, people must do something to resolve their problems themselves. After all, we are suffering from the poor economy and its consequences for long. We should not be allowed to wait and see anymore!

Lastly, your opinion on the said topic would be much appreciated. Thanks

 

How To Save On Children’s Accessories 

 

You know children accessories are very expensive nowadays. They require food, dresses, and toys. They will push you towards economical draught in no time. So what would you do to prevent this. Here are some useful tips for you:
1. Always buy second hand clothes – whether it is your new born or 5 years old.
2. The old shirts usually have your kids favorite character on them, so cut it and glue it on other shirts.
3. Go to charity shops daily and see if your child would need some of the toys. You would need them in future too.
4. Go for the books when you have no penny left in your pocket. Your library would lend you many items for free.
5. You can find second hand books too that is usually the cheapest option among all other toys.
6. You can find some sites that offer a free exchange of items. For example: freecycle.org
7. You can find colors and papers, the best economical solution to engage your child at any age.
8. If you could find a good drawer for free or for a couple of pounds, your kids will surely enjoy it.
9. You can cut your kid’s hair by yourself. Learn it on the internet, it is not that expensive.
10. The last but not the least, you take your kids to parks outside, they are usually free all the time.

Thus, we can save a lot while following the saving tips. I have mentioned a few, but you can search too on, how can you save more. It is always good to save before we regret on our luxurious spending. Thanks

The Beauty Of The Law Of Attraction

I have read more than 50 books on the Law of Attraction and they all focus on the same thing but the way of expression is different. I cannot see any difference of opinion between, the writers main focus. They all believe in the state of receiving. They all agree on the power of gratitude. They all are convinced of the idea that positive begets positive. They all think our thoughts define us. They all stress upon being stress free and feel good. They all want us to be out of the circle of self pity and depressed thoughts. They all want us to feel better in spite of our bitter realities. They encourage us to imagine what we want and to be thankful for what we desire. They are not mad, in saying so. There must be some reality in these statements. I am so far not very much convinced.

Yesterday, my son asked me for a new toy. He was not behaving so I replied, ‘no’. I said, ‘ you do not deserve it right now’. Then my son tried to control his emotions and again asked for that toy. I was not happy with buying that toy for a son who is annoying me with his rude and selfish behavior. The next day, my son forgot his desire. He remained with me all day while saying, ‘mom, you are looking beautiful in this dress’. I was very happy. Then he said, ‘ mom, I like this toy very much  that you have chosen for me. I do not need any more’. I was extremely happy for his nice attitude and gestures. Then he passed by his favorite toy and said,’ mom, I want it, but if you do not like to buy it for me, it is OK’.  I  stopped there and bought that toy for him at once. I bought two toys for him of his choice at that time – almost forcibly. I bought the toys not because he was asking them rather because I was planning to give these toys to him as a reward for his good and nice behavior.

This is the trick of the Law Of Attraction. We need to be patient, calm, and pleasant on the realities of our life till the time of  abundance comes to us. Till the universe makes us happy forever. Till we become what we want to become. Till we get our desires in the way we like. Till we feel, how we like to feel in our lives. Till we achieve what we have been longing for. We need to be thankful for the Universe in advance for all those things we are asking. We need to make sure that the universe is going to respond us very soon – sooner than a mother’s heart.

Being a Muslim, I can quote some of the prayers that convey the same meanings :

  1. God will give you a life of happiness, but you need to be a thankful human being.
  2. God will increase His blessings upon the people who are thankful.
  3. If you will adopt the right path, He will increase his blessings and give you what you desire, otherwise neither you will get what you want nor you will get any other blessing.
  4. God will increase your wealth if you become fearful of God.

Andy many others convey the similar meanings stressing upon the importance of gratitude and feeling good. We cannot ignore such teachings if we want to achieve the real happiness in life.

As the bible says:

  1. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
  2. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.
  3. Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers

There are many others to quote in this regard. All of such statements focus on us – being grateful to the God. They say we need to be grateful to God or we will not be blessed. It means we will not be happy  in both ways- with holding wealth or without having wealth.

So, the time has come when we need to understand what we need : happiness, wealth, peace or suffering. We will be gifted all according to our own individual traits. Now, it depends on us how we react to our circumstances. In positive scenario, we will be blessed and in negative lights we will be in trouble. All of our realities are reflections of our thoughts, so be careful in deciding about something, in reflecting on something, and in evaluating your life critically as all of these thoughts are ultimately going to fill your future full of miseries or full of fortunes.

Thanks