tips

Would You Drink More To Be Out Of Trouble ?

We being a human always search for easy fixes, short cuts, and quick ways to fulfill our desires, wishes, and needs. We want to be happy as early as possible. We are quite impatient and inconsistent in achieving our goals to become successful. It is our nature and we fight with our nature to look mature, reasonable, vigilant, cool, persistent and tolerant.

I see people spending a huge amount on only entertainment: crazy sports, watching movies, reading fiction, clubs, dinners, parties, celebrations, shopping, and what not. I see people spend a lot on the things they do not need rather they think they would need. I see people spend a lot on luxuries as compared to their needs (after their basic needs fulfilled).

Have you seen people drunk on the roads, especially on weekends? Have you seen people in clubs, dancing, drinking, and having fun in a large number? Have you seen people in cinemas watching their favorite movies? Have you seen people in the markets while buying lots of stuff luxuriously and carelessly? Have you seen people traveling for fun sake only? Of course, you must have seen people in libraries lost in books too.

What is the difference between the two types: the one searching for happiness outside and the one searching for happiness inside. The first choice would never end: after each episode, there is another to watch, after buying one thing, you would need another one tomorrow, one drink this weekend and one for the next one, one resort this year and another for the next year. So there is no full stop, no satisfaction forever. You have to be engaged daily while pursuing your pleasures and happiness.

The second way is looking inside. In this mode, you are going inside- looking for some help, researching your problems and their solutions, finding new concepts to deal with, creating new theories to tackle and jumping in the sea of happiness that would leave its footprints on your personality forever. You are growing day by day – giving more life to your senses, body and to the world outside.

Suppose you are marring a man/woman who is just perfect for you. You think  his/her company would have a tremendous effect on you in the long run. You may go for it but risk is yours. You might not get what is in your mind – you might be wrong in assessing that personality.  On the other side, if you think you are strong enough to decide and live by your choice and the other person is free to live with you as per his/her wish and till the time you both are having good terms. In this case, you are not bound to live together forever with someone you do not deserve, as your partner is not bound too to live with you. In this scenario, both of you are not at risk: neither in union nor in separation.

Through a little analysis of the above example, we come to know that in the first approach, one is handing over its worries and happiness to someone else’s hands. Whereas in the second approach one is not willing to live by its partners choice, thus is more inclined towards its inner strength and will power.

When you close your eyes and try to forget about your problems, problems remain there. When you take your problems as your projects and work on them with motivation and determination, the problems start to diminish.   Similarly when you engage in time-consuming activities to forget your worries, you waste time. Though time is a good healer but it is not a good healer in each and every matter of life. Moreover, time healing techniques is not yours – it would play its role as per its nature. It might be the lifetime to heal your wounds! So would you waste your whole life for time is the only healer for you!

I do agree that time is a great healer but only for little problems. When you have got cold, you have no option except to take Paracetamol. Similarly in some tiny matters, you need to pass time and wait for the solution of your disease. What about chronic diseases? Should you wait and see what will happen tomorrow or should you go to the doctor to consult? Definitely, you should seek a doctor’s advice. So it depends on the situation.  Like medical problems, if your problem is interfering with your day-to-day life, and it is more than a month and your problem is persisting; do not ignore the symptoms. Go to some specialist and get some advice. Do not waste your time.  You cannot find happiness  in drinking, shopping, traveling, playing, watching or doing something to let you forget about your worries. As there is no quick fix to your psychological disorders, to get you out of trouble miraculously. Yes, you can find happiness through these hobbies, if you are already happy.  So first, become happy, then look happy, first deserve then desire, first feel then enjoy!

When  A Long Abusive Relationship Starts Flourishing!

Calamities are of different kinds: bad health, bad relationship, bad weather, bad results, bad luck and many more. We are always prone to divert our attention to them more than our fortunes: good health, good relationship, good weather, good results, good luck and many other goods. This is our nature. Being a human, we should save ourselves first from bad episodes of life, then should think about our good things. Safety always comes first . So do not worry about it.

When it comes to dealing with bad episodes, we need to think more. It is not always a quick fix when it comes to relationship puzzles. We for most of the time, cannot understand the other person from his/her behavior/gesture or attitude visible to naked eyes. We become such a fool that we even could not recognize our fault of misperception for years.

The question is why? Why the time comes when you start feeling regret? Why you waste your time in assessing your partner’s gestures and could not reach a better conclusion soon? Why you permit yourself to be indulged into a fake and critical relationship? Why you close your eyes? Why not, you take a step immediately, right after smelling something wrong?

In the third world countries, we know the answer. We respect our traditions more than our lives. We try to keep our customs alive than keeping our relationship healthy. We are bound to follow a path we are destined for. We, especially the women, are not economically independent and are not safe at all so we have no other choice except to accept all whether it is wrong or right. Women crush their wills, desires, wishes, wants, needs and spend a life that was designed for them either by their fathers, brothers or so called husbands. They do not play dead rather they are dead!

For the girls who want to learn something about the relationship, my advice is that, ‘ be alert’.  When you feel you are being cheated, stop there. When your sixth sense advises you not to go to the date- do not go. You should not try to become over empathetic when the other person ignores you for whatever the reason is. The abuse is abuse irrespective of its nature or deep reasons. The other person who is intentionally ignoring you, is not something to ignore. Believe me things either settle down at the time they are happening or they never settle down. Giving time to your abuser is equal to prolonging your disease with its worse side effects!

You know cancer is such a horrible word that nobody wants to hear about it. The relationship that we could not fix in time, will develop into a cancer in your heart and that cancer will never be re routed successfully. Unfortunately, you will have no time left to fix it  or It will be too late for you to decide about your relationship.

Therefore, If you are in the beginning and you feel that your partner is not behaving as per he/she should – stop there. Do not waste your time in judging and judging and judging. When you start living in your comfort zone, it is next to impossible to leave that. You become selfish, scary, hesitant, and passive with the passing time. Like a slowly effecting poison, you are taking your life day by day!

I do not mean that you do not compromise- rather I mean to compromise with vigilance and with full acknowledgment that you are doing it consciously.  We have doctors who warn us about upcoming diseases and possible precautions, we remember all healthy tips by heart to stay healthy, we take medicines to fight with side effects but when it comes to relationships, we listen to our heart and close our brain-eyes. We want to live in dreams and those dreams do not let us live according to our will. Therefore, it is worth keeping track of all your decisions and get tips from the professionals in time to save your future and its related happiness.

Cheers!

To The Mothers Of The Aggressive Children

 

Being a Muslim and a good human being we always give respect and favor to our mothers for their love, belongingness, care and sacrifice. Mothers are no doubt embracing the medal of nourishment and development of their kids. They are fully responsible for their kids moral and ethical education. Especially in the society of Pakistan, mothers’ role cannot be ignored as they have only one obligation to raise children and to do house chores (they are not forced to work outside).

With extreme apology, I must say that where mothers are appreciated for their brave, intelligent, successful children, they must be blamed for their cruel, hyperactive and aggressive off springs. When we say, mothers lap is the first place to learn, we must not forget the people who commit crimes, kill other innocent citizens and rape their sisters. Why not their mothers take charge of their deeds? Why not their mothers are liable for their sick personalities and ill behavioral aspects?

It is very important to understand what I want to say in this regard. No doubt, mothers are always loving, caring and nurturing by nature. No doubt mother must be respected everywhere. No doubt, mothers cannot stop crime and cruelty among society members. We cannot deny the mother’s  contribution to her children, whether she is educated or not. But at the same time, we cannot ignore mothers too when we talk about suicide bombers, honor killers, rapists, and terrorists.

Should we not educate mothers to teach their children about love, humanity, friendship, caring, sympathy, helping, generosity and gratitude. Should we not take measures to educate mothers before educating criminals, killers and suicide bomb blasters. Should not we deal with the root cause intelligently and wisely? Should not we take the mothers’ role seriously in eradicating the insecurity from the society? Should not we call mothers help to decide about our future’s peace and harmony in the most realistic manner? Only in this way, in my opinion the root cause of the unrest can be tackled with success.

Mothers can play a big role in maintaining a peace in the region. Mothers can stop the war of terrorism forever. Only mothers can perform such a duty in this critical time and help all of us miraculously. Only mothers can take the charge of bringing a change in society through their unconditional love towards their children and a firm attitude towards the negation of terrorist activities. Only mothers need to be awakened and get their children back on track!

 

How To Save On Children’s Accessories 

 

You know children accessories are very expensive nowadays. They require food, dresses, and toys. They will push you towards economical draught in no time. So what would you do to prevent this. Here are some useful tips for you:
1. Always buy second hand clothes – whether it is your new born or 5 years old.
2. The old shirts usually have your kids favorite character on them, so cut it and glue it on other shirts.
3. Go to charity shops daily and see if your child would need some of the toys. You would need them in future too.
4. Go for the books when you have no penny left in your pocket. Your library would lend you many items for free.
5. You can find second hand books too that is usually the cheapest option among all other toys.
6. You can find some sites that offer a free exchange of items. For example: freecycle.org
7. You can find colors and papers, the best economical solution to engage your child at any age.
8. If you could find a good drawer for free or for a couple of pounds, your kids will surely enjoy it.
9. You can cut your kid’s hair by yourself. Learn it on the internet, it is not that expensive.
10. The last but not the least, you take your kids to parks outside, they are usually free all the time.

Thus, we can save a lot while following the saving tips. I have mentioned a few, but you can search too on, how can you save more. It is always good to save before we regret on our luxurious spending. Thanks

How To Improve Interaction And Attachment Between You And Your Children  

 

There are many activities that you can choose from to create a wonderful environment at home while playing with your kids, but in this article I will only focus on things that need no or small amount of cash and will provide maximum pleasure of interaction and attachment between you and your toddlers.

1. Stickers

You may buy stickers for your and your kid’s choice and guide your child to stick them on their favorite toys to look better. For example, they can make eyes on several items; they can put the ball like stickers on the wheels of their cars to make the wheels more beautiful; they can fix many things with the help of stickers. It is so much fascinating and creative activity that not only provides your child a good hand and eye co-ordination rather is vital for strong bonding between you and your children.

2. Draws

If you have one simple table with draws, you can create many activities with your child. She can put her clothes, socks, scarf, hats, shoes etc. in them separately and can play with them at the same time. Similarly kids can enjoy putting their favorite stuff like dolls or cars in draws from time to time. You can join them by putting their toys in draws and can create a friendly and harmonious environment at the same time.

3. Books.

Books are very cheap in charity shops. Parents can buy lots of them, and both kids and parents can enjoy together while talking to each other and having fun with their kids. If you buy a magnetic book (or make it at home without magnetic part of it) it will pay you much more than its price in terms of attachment and satisfaction. Kids just love to put different stuff on pictures whether they stick or not.

4. Painting and Drawing

There are many kinds of paints and markers available in market nowadays, but if you buy a simple black slate or white board to draw with simple chalks or color markers, you can share lots of things together. For older kids, painting is very interesting activity, if one of their parents joins them in their refreshment and learning time.

5. PC or Laptop Fun

If you have a computer or laptop at home, your kids would like to see their favorite series/items (depends on their age level) on it too, and you both may enjoy while sitting together. If you have to do something very important, your child can watch her favorite item separately and you can also do your surfing separately in one window! Moreover, your kid can enjoy typing ‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’, etc. if you buy a separate keyboard for her so that she could move her little fingers freely.

6. Food Fun

You can offer your kids lots of things that they can cut and make their favorite items like cars, dolls, animals etc. Such baking cutters are easily available in markets and are not very expensive too. Kids love to enjoy in meal times too so providing them this activity will also increase their appetite.

7. Cards

You may buy the memory cards from the market or can make them yourself free of cost. Kids usually love cards of different pictures, colors and figures. You may create many games with cards that all depend on the nature of cards and age of your child. In this way, you and your child may play together while having immense fun and learning.

8. Join Them

The last important thing is to join them whatever they are doing. For boys if they are playing with cars, try to fix their car problems, make new cars out of old ones, find new routes for them, change their shape if possible, etc. if you are with girl and she is playing with dolls, try to make doll stuff yourself. It shows all your affection and love that your child will never ignore. And you do not need any training for that, it is just a matter of willingness to join your kids whatever they are doing.

In short, parents can enjoy with their kids while doing lots of things together if they have time and energy at some point of the day. The important thing is that, toddlers need someone’s presence with them to have parallel play otherwise they will not be so much involved and enthusiastic in learning or playing. Parents need to watch them carefully how they like to play with and then they can add something from their side as a guide and teacher. Toddlers will not follow the instructions of parents rather they need to be listened patiently and tactfully for most of the time. The activity routine needs to be changed too. One activity every day will lose its effectiveness and you with your kid will not find it interesting anymore after a few days. So different activities on different days will enhance your Child’s IQ and will provide to both of you the best quality time ever.
Thanks

 

How Can We Save Our Children From Being Aggressive?   

Aggression in children is not very common in cold countries as compared to warm places. There are many factors that contribute to the child’s aggressive behavior: weather, noise pollution, family structure, food, and parents parenting style. The most important one is ‘parents’ parenting style’.
One should know what to do when his/her child is in an aggressive mood otherwise things will become more complex and alarming in the future. Here are some common mistakes that parents do and contribute a lot towards the aggression of their children deliberately or unconsciously:
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The Universal Parental Religion 

There are many cultures in this world and all are aware of the name, ‘cultural differences’. We think we belong to a different region so our likes and dislikes are different. We feel we behave similarly while living in the same group and follow the same religious teachings that each one of us living around us belong to. For example, being a Muslim, we think all Muslims are alike because they share the same religion. Being a Christian, we think all Christians behave in a certain way. Usually people living in one group for a long time, share many things together – they follow the same teachings, cultural aspects, traditions, customs and other trivial ways of life.

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