When  A Long Abusive Relationship Starts Flourishing!

Calamities are of different kinds: bad health, bad relationship, bad weather, bad results, bad luck and many more. We are always prone to divert our attention to them more than our fortunes: good health, good relationship, good weather, good results, good luck and many other goods. This is our nature. Being a human, we should save ourselves first from bad episodes of life, then should think about our good things. Safety always comes first . So do not worry about it.

When it comes to dealing with bad episodes, we need to think more. It is not always a quick fix when it comes to relationship puzzles. We for most of the time, cannot understand the other person from his/her behavior/gesture or attitude visible to naked eyes. We become such a fool that we even could not recognize our fault of misperception for years.

The question is why? Why the time comes when you start feeling regret? Why you waste your time in assessing your partner’s gestures and could not reach a better conclusion soon? Why you permit yourself to be indulged into a fake and critical relationship? Why you close your eyes? Why not, you take a step immediately, right after smelling something wrong?

In the third world countries, we know the answer. We respect our traditions more than our lives. We try to keep our customs alive than keeping our relationship healthy. We are bound to follow a path we are destined for. We, especially the women, are not economically independent and are not safe at all so we have no other choice except to accept all whether it is wrong or right. Women crush their wills, desires, wishes, wants, needs and spend a life that was designed for them either by their fathers, brothers or so called husbands. They do not play dead rather they are dead!

For the girls who want to learn something about the relationship, my advice is that, ‘ be alert’.  When you feel you are being cheated, stop there. When your sixth sense advises you not to go to the date- do not go. You should not try to become over empathetic when the other person ignores you for whatever the reason is. The abuse is abuse irrespective of its nature or deep reasons. The other person who is intentionally ignoring you, is not something to ignore. Believe me things either settle down at the time they are happening or they never settle down. Giving time to your abuser is equal to prolonging your disease with its worse side effects!

You know cancer is such a horrible word that nobody wants to hear about it. The relationship that we could not fix in time, will develop into a cancer in your heart and that cancer will never be re routed successfully. Unfortunately, you will have no time left to fix it  or It will be too late for you to decide about your relationship.

Therefore, If you are in the beginning and you feel that your partner is not behaving as per he/she should – stop there. Do not waste your time in judging and judging and judging. When you start living in your comfort zone, it is next to impossible to leave that. You become selfish, scary, hesitant, and passive with the passing time. Like a slowly effecting poison, you are taking your life day by day!

I do not mean that you do not compromise- rather I mean to compromise with vigilance and with full acknowledgment that you are doing it consciously.  We have doctors who warn us about upcoming diseases and possible precautions, we remember all healthy tips by heart to stay healthy, we take medicines to fight with side effects but when it comes to relationships, we listen to our heart and close our brain-eyes. We want to live in dreams and those dreams do not let us live according to our will. Therefore, it is worth keeping track of all your decisions and get tips from the professionals in time to save your future and its related happiness.


If You Have A Fear Of Loss…..

We are educated, informed, smart and vigilant. Even then we make wrong choices, wrong decisions, keep guilts and miseries. In one way or the other we suffer from our own misjudgments and misperceptions. We cannot control our mistakes from being happen and cannot save ourselves from being victimized. Pitty on us!

Anyhow, the damage we give to our souls is bigger than any other damage we do in our life. You might get back the property you have lost, you might plan for a new family to share the love and belongings, you might get your career back to uplift your spirits and to rise high- but what about your lost energy and psyche.

When you waste your time on trivial things, non- sense matters, and fake people, you waste your brains. You waste the most precious product of your personality for nothing. When you concentrate on tiny, unimportant, useless matters, you spoil your energy and put the best of you in the dustbin forever. Do you know, you will not be able to get that energy back. Do you know when you let the brain wander freely, you waste it a lot. Do you know your brain waste will never come back. There is no alternative action you can take to justify your loss. You just cannot get the energy back into your brain.

So before wasting your rich energies, consider the following things for a while:
a. If you have a fear of loss, do not invest more
b. If you feel anxious in some relationship, stop there.
c. If you feel worried before signing up, leave it.
d. If you are in doubt on some matter, put it aside for a while.
e. If you are sleepless due to some guilt, face it courageously forever.
f. If you are nervous in accepting some proposal, say no.
g. If you feel reluctant on meeting someone, do not go for it.
h. If you are puzzled on making a decision, take your time.
i. If you feel low in any situation, be refreshed and then go ahead.

Being a human, we make mistakes, but it does not mean we keep on wasting our time on making similar mistakes in life. Putting ourselves in limitless circles of mistrust and failure is equal to wasting our time again and again. We are not meant to face all relationships with happiness- some people need to be blocked or at least ignored. We need to be clear in our mind what to focus on and what not to focus on otherwise we will be in trouble and wasting our most priceless energies to serve vampires.