How can you improve your chances of being abused in an intimate relationship:

We all are victim of abuse in one way or the other in our life from someone at some particular point. Though we don’t fully understand the abusers in our society and could not recognize them at first glance; yet we could feel a little discomfort in their presence. We, in one way or the other, feel compelled to do something, guilt, being overly criticized, ignored or controlled or pressurized in our heart while confronting/obeying someone’s commands. This is known as abuse- more specifically emotional abuse. It is, in most cases, the abuser’s responsibility to have a check on his/her attitude and modify his/her behavior accordingly; yet it is also the abused one’s personal obligation towards his/her self to respond appropriately while being abused.

How can you trigger the abuse in your life – here are some examples that would suggest new angles to see the situation and make you alert in advance:

 The abuse would multiply if –

 You look too simple to deal with. When people think you are too good, too simple, and too polite; they will feel no threat in abusing you as much as they like.

  1. You ask with silly gestures and childish attitude- you are welcoming the unnecessary comments and the possible abuse from the black sheep.
  2. You are fulfilling the demands of the other person unnaturally; in this way you convey the message that you are the most obedient servant of him/her.
  3. You cannot say ‘no’ to someone who is crossing limits in dealing with you.
  4. You convey by your attitude that you never feel being degraded or humiliated or in other words, you welcome the abuse in your life.
  5. You keep silent on matters you should speak up or at least speak to someone to help you out.
  6. You remind others through your reactions that you have no self respect, self esteem and dignity to preserve so they can cross limits whenever they feel like.
  7. You never keep others in limits or you have no ethical limits to follow for yourself. You are not a man of principles.

 You ignore the abuse  in the first place, then it grows, and grows till the point, it is out of reach. So you should be very careful in dealing with an abusive relationship when it starts.

These are the simple guidelines to prevent abuse or abusive relationships in your life forever. When one is simply ignorant of the causes of the disease; he/she would never be able to carry out the precautions in advance. Thus, you are now aware of the disease ‘abuse’ and can put some checks on it in future. It will save you from many psychological and emotional disorders like depression, anxiety, guilt, hypertension, stress, sleeplessness, and ultimately suicidal and destructive tendencies. The most important is that you would be living an ‘abuse free’ life – a happy life.



If You Have A Fear Of Loss…..

We are educated, informed, smart and vigilant. Even then we make wrong choices, wrong decisions, keep guilts and miseries. In one way or the other we suffer from our own misjudgments and misperceptions. We cannot control our mistakes from being happen and cannot save ourselves from being victimized. Pitty on us!

Anyhow, the damage we give to our souls is bigger than any other damage we do in our life. You might get back the property you have lost, you might plan for a new family to share the love and belongings, you might get your career back to uplift your spirits and to rise high- but what about your lost energy and psyche.

When you waste your time on trivial things, non- sense matters, and fake people, you waste your brains. You waste the most precious product of your personality for nothing. When you concentrate on tiny, unimportant, useless matters, you spoil your energy and put the best of you in the dustbin forever. Do you know, you will not be able to get that energy back. Do you know when you let the brain wander freely, you waste it a lot. Do you know your brain waste will never come back. There is no alternative action you can take to justify your loss. You just cannot get the energy back into your brain.

So before wasting your rich energies, consider the following things for a while:
a. If you have a fear of loss, do not invest more
b. If you feel anxious in some relationship, stop there.
c. If you feel worried before signing up, leave it.
d. If you are in doubt on some matter, put it aside for a while.
e. If you are sleepless due to some guilt, face it courageously forever.
f. If you are nervous in accepting some proposal, say no.
g. If you feel reluctant on meeting someone, do not go for it.
h. If you are puzzled on making a decision, take your time.
i. If you feel low in any situation, be refreshed and then go ahead.

Being a human, we make mistakes, but it does not mean we keep on wasting our time on making similar mistakes in life. Putting ourselves in limitless circles of mistrust and failure is equal to wasting our time again and again. We are not meant to face all relationships with happiness- some people need to be blocked or at least ignored. We need to be clear in our mind what to focus on and what not to focus on otherwise we will be in trouble and wasting our most priceless energies to serve vampires.