Our brains are full of thoughts, perceptions and memories. They often contradict with each other at various levels and try to win. Sometimes we are convinced and settled down, while other times, we just can’t make them organised and get stressed. Some times arguments win our hearts; while other times we lose! If I say that it’s all game of logical reasoning and clarifying ideas then nothing wrong in it. The ideas we like, we adore, we publish and act upon spontaneously. The ideas we don’t like, we don’t get; we don’t bother and behave like that. Here I am talking about beliefs we really do not like, but destined to follow them due to cultural constraints and environmental limitations. Not only this, those beliefs are putting peoples’ lives at risk for depression, anxiety and stress disorders especially women’s lives are at risk for PTSD and many other traumas related to abusive conditions.
In a terrible, abusive and negative environment, out thoughts, ideas and feelings are just not intact. We think very differently from the people around us. We live a life not according to our own standards; rather as per others values and beliefs. We call our weaknesses, our limitations and never dare to say ‘NO’. We confront to our own selves and convince ourselves that others are right whereas it’s not always true. Especially in an abusive culture, one feels quite helpless in proving his/her argument, no matter how right his/her point is. As usually all others around speak against you and try to make you to follow the traditions and customs(abusive in nature) blindly and quietly.
There are many examples to quote. Like in some cultures women are not given their basic rights. They are supposed to perform /carry out many troublesome and annoying/odd/weird traditions in the name of religion and culture. And many times, they feel pressurised to do that in all circumstances. Such traditions go against women’s basic human rights; however no one questions it. For example, in some cultures, many things women are not supposed to do like men due to their feminine nature; however women should be allowed to live a happy free life-like men. Women are not encouraged to live an independent life like men in some societies which is also an example of an abusive culture. Women are not encouraged to move alone and seek for their job; also a sign of abusive environment. Women are being married due to family pressures or girls are not given the same status at home like sons; and girls are supposed to do minor things and are not considered important in decision-making for family matters. All of these are examples of abusive and negative society where one could not do certain things ( otherwise positive and important) due to unhealthy and toxic belief systems inculcated in the social norms.