Self-Esteem

Helping The Poor Girls In Pakistan

A boy is a symbol of  power, authority, success, luck, wealth and a stream of fortune forever. Being a boy means, having a home on a permanent basis, having safety forever, peace of mind with respect to parents love and care, having a continuous and unconditional love of parents and relatives, feeling high all the time only due to your gender identity. Though a boy needs to get educated, yet he needs nothing else. He needs to get educated and lead his life as per his own choice. He has to earn money and status for him and his family’s well being. But he is all in all in deciding many domestic matters. He is free in his movements- not afraid of being raped on the way going home. He is getting priority in all the matters, from attending  a luxurious dinner to attending a trip outside city. Boys are very much social in nature as compared to girls as they are more encouraged and appreciated in adapting that attitude. Boys are brave as per our culture. Boys never weep according to our cultural education. Boys should be respected, honored and valued more due to their gender as compared to girls. Boys should keep the money in their hands as they are responsible for their sisters (or female member’s) needs. Boys are free to living alone, whereas girls are not simply allowed to do that.

Girls feel, in such a society, that they cannot express themselves fully being a girl. They bear restrictions on their dressing, social life, education, liberty and freedom tremendously since the day of their birth. They are not well come, being a girl at home, in a family, and in the society. Their position is weak being a girl at home, as they are thought a burden upon parents. They are taken as symbols of honor that can be damaged through any sexual activity. They are not allowed to go out for a walk alone, as their safety is compromised. They are pushed to stay at home as their presence at home is considered  a safety precaution. Their primary responsibility is towards their family – taking care of others (usually males) through household affairs and making sacrifices for them. Girls are never free to choose their life partner of their own choice. Rarely parents accept it, if the partner chosen by their daughter is from high class and worth marrying.  Things are very complicated for girls. It seems, all are their well wishers, but in reality, all are only protecting them from the unseen and unrealistic dangers. That over protecting attitude generates feelings of low self esteem and worthlessness among girls. They live their lives under constant pressure of society, family, and the culture overall.

The dilemma never ends. When a girl is married, her all decisions are carried out by her husband – usually husband is the only earning hand. Girls, even after being mothers, are not thought as an influencer and decision maker. They have to live according to the rules of their husband and his family. There is no rocket science that you cannot understand. There is simply the abuse: emotional, verbal, social, and physical. A girl cannot decide how many children she wants. She cannot decide what career she wants to pursue. She cannot decide what is her planning of the future in terms of spending money on her needs. In most families, girls even cannot decide what food they wish to eat. For sports, girls are never encouraged to participate in. They are thought as the weakest part of the society –  a misfortune bestowed upon the people.

I salute them for living in such a society and smiling all day. I can see western girls being more independent, free, happy, energetic, powerful, influencing, authentic, intelligent and inspiring in overall all fields of life – as compared to Pakistani ones. My humble advice for our generation of girls is that to take charge of their lives, their happiness and their decisions. Do not rely upon anyone, especially when it comes to your life, your need and your pleasure. Seek your way to find your destiny, your identity and your future and be persistent in seeking that throughout your life. This is your war: fight or flight-It is up to you. But if you fight, there are ample chances that you will win; otherwise chances are that you will be caught and could not rise again.

Thanks

Self-Esteem – An Innate Trait

Self –Esteem is nowadays a common truth that everyone knows to some extent. We know when we feel low in esteem and when we feel high self esteem. We cannot say for sure, whether our self-esteem is real or fake, but we know that we are confronted with self-esteem issues and nothing else. You may find thousand techniques on how to gain self esteem truly and how to increase it day by day. You may find literature on how to maintain a healthy level of self esteem and become a successful human being as a result. In most of the cases, information is trustworthy and you can get benefit from such resources.

Here I am talking about the precaution not the solution of self-esteem related disorders. What do you think if we stop it from the beginning or try not to encounter with it throughout our life span. What if a child is given an immunization to prevent him/her from self-esteem problems in the future just like medical immunization systems? Can we provide our children a strong base to tackle with all kinds of self-esteem issues that might cause any severe disorder in their young or adult life? Self-esteem is visibly low in almost all psychological and personality disorders, so this prevention will benefit our next generation a lot.

The next question in this regard is how to prevent our nation from self-esteem problems? The answer is simple: we have to give them injections of low self esteem. We have to tell our children exactly what they will do, feel or observe when they face low self-esteem in their daily life. They need to understand all kinds of low self esteem and their severe consequences. Not only this, rather we need to give our children fake experiences of low self esteem and tell them how to get rid of it. These activities will train them for higher-level issues and they will not lose control when they find a real life threat to their self-esteem. In simple words, we have to educate them all basics of self-esteem and guide them through practical examples on how can they resist severe attacks of low self-esteem.

Self esteem is not limited to one field of life rather covers all areas of life and that is why it is very difficult to assess it as a whole and provide prevention skills. To tackle with its complexity, we need to assess our children from time to time and diagnose which type of information is vital for whom. Then, the best possible training might be provided to the students for the success of their future endeavors in general.

Safety tips for health, education, business, marketing, cooking, gardening and writing, save most of us in our daily life. We are accustomed to read them to get general information and to prevent us from commonsense mistakes. However, for psychological problems, we rarely look for others psyche and bother to improve ours. This is the main reason why we face troubles and usually it is too late to cure. We think we are the only one who is having this type of problem. Such thinking makes us more vulnerable towards helplessness and anxiety. Therefore, it is recommended to include self-esteem tips hand outs in all types of syllabi to prevent students from possible side effects of low self-esteem.

If I say that self-esteem is a contagious disease, it will not be very wrong. When we sit beside someone with low self-esteem, his/her ways of thinking affect ours in a systematic way. In addition, the same is true for us. As a result, we gain a new level of self-esteem (low or high) and unconsciously keep on delivering ours and absorbing others self-esteem from time to time. For this reason, we have to decide what are the golden rules that can prevent us from getting infected from others with low self-esteem. We need to establish a formula or pattern of beliefs that must be able to deal with such issues in advance.

Parent’s self-esteem is a great source of energy for their kids. By contrast, when parents suffer from low self-esteem, children’s self-esteem directly or indirectly is very much affected. To solve this problem, parenting classes to boost high level of self-esteem among their children are already getting inspiration in some of the areas of advanced world. Here the information that parents’ own level of self-esteem need to be raised to raise their children’s self-esteem is very vital. Educationists must have sessions with their pupils’ parents to see if the child’s low self-esteem has any connection with parents’ self esteem!

To conclude, self-esteem is very complex and common human trait and plays as a backbone in each psychological disorder. We can serve our children by utilizing our knowledge to give them proper training to deal with the self-esteem dilemmas. At the same time, we can equip them with a handful amount of tips to remain safe in the environment where low self-esteem threats are everywhere.

Thanks

 

 

 

 

Self-Esteem Paradox

Self –Esteem is nowadays a common truth that everyone knows to some extent. We know when we feel low in esteem and when we feel high self esteem. We cannot say for sure, whether our self-esteem is real or fake, but we know that we are confronted with self-esteem issues and nothing else. You may find thousand techniques on how to gain self esteem truly and how to increase it day by day. You may find literature on how to maintain a healthy level of self esteem and become a successful human being as a result. In most of the cases, information is trustworthy and you can get benefit from such resources.

Here I am talking about the precaution not the solution of self-esteem related disorders. What do you think if we stop it from the beginning or try not to encounter with it throughout our life span. What if a child is given an immunization to prevent him/her from self-esteem problems in the future just like medical immunization systems? Can we provide our children a strong base to tackle with all kinds of self-esteem issues that might cause any severe disorder in their young or adult life? Self-esteem is visibly low in almost all psychological and personality disorders, so this prevention will benefit our next generation a lot.

The next question in this regard is how to prevent our nation from self-esteem problems? The answer is simple: we have to give them injections of low self esteem. We have to tell our children exactly what they will do, feel or observe when they face low self-esteem in their daily life. They need to understand all kinds of low self esteem and their severe consequences. Not only this, rather we need to give our children fake experiences of low self esteem and tell them how to get rid of it. These activities will train them for higher-level issues and they will not lose control when they find a real life threat to their self-esteem. In simple words, we have to educate them all basics of self-esteem and guide them through practical examples on how can they resist severe attacks of low self-esteem.

Self esteem is not limited to one field of life rather covers all areas of life and that is why it is very difficult to assess it as a whole and provide prevention skills. To tackle with its complexity, we need to assess our children from time to time and diagnose which type of information is vital for whom. Then, the best possible training might be provided to the students for the success of their future endeavors in general.

Safety tips for health, education, business, marketing, cooking, gardening and writing, save most of us in our daily life. We are accustomed to read them to get general information and to prevent us from commonsense mistakes. However, for psychological problems, we rarely look for others psyche and bother to improve ours. This is the main reason why we face troubles and usually it is too late to cure. We think we are the only one who is having this type of problem. Such thinking makes us more vulnerable towards helplessness and anxiety. Therefore, it is recommended to include self-esteem tips hand outs in all types of syllabi to prevent students from possible side effects of low self-esteem.

If I say that self-esteem is a contagious disease, it will not be very wrong. When we sit beside someone with low self-esteem, his/her ways of thinking affect ours in a systematic way. In addition, the same is true for us. As a result, we gain a new level of self-esteem (low or high) and unconsciously keep on delivering ours and absorbing others self-esteem from time to time. For this reason, we have to decide what are the golden rules that can prevent us from getting infected from others with low self-esteem. We need to establish a formula or pattern of beliefs that must be able to deal with such issues in advance.

Parent’s self-esteem is a great source of energy for their kids. By contrast, when parents suffer from low self-esteem, children’s self-esteem directly or indirectly is very much affected. To solve this problem, parenting classes to boost high level of self-esteem among their children are already getting inspiration in some of the areas of advanced world. Here the information that parents’ own level of self-esteem need to be raised to raise their children’s self-esteem is very vital. Educationists must have sessions with their pupils’ parents to see if the child’s low self-esteem has any connection with parents’ self esteem!

To conclude, self-esteem is very complex and common human trait and plays as a backbone in each psychological disorder. We can serve our children by utilizing our knowledge to give them proper training to deal with the self-esteem dilemmas. At the same time, we can equip them with a handful amount of tips to remain safe in the environment where low self-esteem threats are everywhere.

Thanks

 

 

If You Have A Fear Of Loss…..

We are educated, informed, smart and vigilant. Even then we make wrong choices, wrong decisions, keep guilts and miseries. In one way or the other we suffer from our own misjudgments and misperceptions. We cannot control our mistakes from being happen and cannot save ourselves from being victimized. Pitty on us!

Anyhow, the damage we give to our souls is bigger than any other damage we do in our life. You might get back the property you have lost, you might plan for a new family to share the love and belongings, you might get your career back to uplift your spirits and to rise high- but what about your lost energy and psyche.

When you waste your time on trivial things, non- sense matters, and fake people, you waste your brains. You waste the most precious product of your personality for nothing. When you concentrate on tiny, unimportant, useless matters, you spoil your energy and put the best of you in the dustbin forever. Do you know, you will not be able to get that energy back. Do you know when you let the brain wander freely, you waste it a lot. Do you know your brain waste will never come back. There is no alternative action you can take to justify your loss. You just cannot get the energy back into your brain.

So before wasting your rich energies, consider the following things for a while:
a. If you have a fear of loss, do not invest more
b. If you feel anxious in some relationship, stop there.
c. If you feel worried before signing up, leave it.
d. If you are in doubt on some matter, put it aside for a while.
e. If you are sleepless due to some guilt, face it courageously forever.
f. If you are nervous in accepting some proposal, say no.
g. If you feel reluctant on meeting someone, do not go for it.
h. If you are puzzled on making a decision, take your time.
i. If you feel low in any situation, be refreshed and then go ahead.

Being a human, we make mistakes, but it does not mean we keep on wasting our time on making similar mistakes in life. Putting ourselves in limitless circles of mistrust and failure is equal to wasting our time again and again. We are not meant to face all relationships with happiness- some people need to be blocked or at least ignored. We need to be clear in our mind what to focus on and what not to focus on otherwise we will be in trouble and wasting our most priceless energies to serve vampires.
Thanks