luck

Helping The Poor Girls In Pakistan

A boy is a symbol of  power, authority, success, luck, wealth and a stream of fortune forever. Being a boy means, having a home on a permanent basis, having safety forever, peace of mind with respect to parents love and care, having a continuous and unconditional love of parents and relatives, feeling high all the time only due to your gender identity. Though a boy needs to get educated, yet he needs nothing else. He needs to get educated and lead his life as per his own choice. He has to earn money and status for him and his family’s well being. But he is all in all in deciding many domestic matters. He is free in his movements- not afraid of being raped on the way going home. He is getting priority in all the matters, from attending  a luxurious dinner to attending a trip outside city. Boys are very much social in nature as compared to girls as they are more encouraged and appreciated in adapting that attitude. Boys are brave as per our culture. Boys never weep according to our cultural education. Boys should be respected, honored and valued more due to their gender as compared to girls. Boys should keep the money in their hands as they are responsible for their sisters (or female member’s) needs. Boys are free to living alone, whereas girls are not simply allowed to do that.

Girls feel, in such a society, that they cannot express themselves fully being a girl. They bear restrictions on their dressing, social life, education, liberty and freedom tremendously since the day of their birth. They are not well come, being a girl at home, in a family, and in the society. Their position is weak being a girl at home, as they are thought a burden upon parents. They are taken as symbols of honor that can be damaged through any sexual activity. They are not allowed to go out for a walk alone, as their safety is compromised. They are pushed to stay at home as their presence at home is considered  a safety precaution. Their primary responsibility is towards their family – taking care of others (usually males) through household affairs and making sacrifices for them. Girls are never free to choose their life partner of their own choice. Rarely parents accept it, if the partner chosen by their daughter is from high class and worth marrying.  Things are very complicated for girls. It seems, all are their well wishers, but in reality, all are only protecting them from the unseen and unrealistic dangers. That over protecting attitude generates feelings of low self esteem and worthlessness among girls. They live their lives under constant pressure of society, family, and the culture overall.

The dilemma never ends. When a girl is married, her all decisions are carried out by her husband – usually husband is the only earning hand. Girls, even after being mothers, are not thought as an influencer and decision maker. They have to live according to the rules of their husband and his family. There is no rocket science that you cannot understand. There is simply the abuse: emotional, verbal, social, and physical. A girl cannot decide how many children she wants. She cannot decide what career she wants to pursue. She cannot decide what is her planning of the future in terms of spending money on her needs. In most families, girls even cannot decide what food they wish to eat. For sports, girls are never encouraged to participate in. They are thought as the weakest part of the society –  a misfortune bestowed upon the people.

I salute them for living in such a society and smiling all day. I can see western girls being more independent, free, happy, energetic, powerful, influencing, authentic, intelligent and inspiring in overall all fields of life – as compared to Pakistani ones. My humble advice for our generation of girls is that to take charge of their lives, their happiness and their decisions. Do not rely upon anyone, especially when it comes to your life, your need and your pleasure. Seek your way to find your destiny, your identity and your future and be persistent in seeking that throughout your life. This is your war: fight or flight-It is up to you. But if you fight, there are ample chances that you will win; otherwise chances are that you will be caught and could not rise again.

Thanks

When  A Long Abusive Relationship Starts Flourishing!

Calamities are of different kinds: bad health, bad relationship, bad weather, bad results, bad luck and many more. We are always prone to divert our attention to them more than our fortunes: good health, good relationship, good weather, good results, good luck and many other goods. This is our nature. Being a human, we should save ourselves first from bad episodes of life, then should think about our good things. Safety always comes first . So do not worry about it.

When it comes to dealing with bad episodes, we need to think more. It is not always a quick fix when it comes to relationship puzzles. We for most of the time, cannot understand the other person from his/her behavior/gesture or attitude visible to naked eyes. We become such a fool that we even could not recognize our fault of misperception for years.

The question is why? Why the time comes when you start feeling regret? Why you waste your time in assessing your partner’s gestures and could not reach a better conclusion soon? Why you permit yourself to be indulged into a fake and critical relationship? Why you close your eyes? Why not, you take a step immediately, right after smelling something wrong?

In the third world countries, we know the answer. We respect our traditions more than our lives. We try to keep our customs alive than keeping our relationship healthy. We are bound to follow a path we are destined for. We, especially the women, are not economically independent and are not safe at all so we have no other choice except to accept all whether it is wrong or right. Women crush their wills, desires, wishes, wants, needs and spend a life that was designed for them either by their fathers, brothers or so called husbands. They do not play dead rather they are dead!

For the girls who want to learn something about the relationship, my advice is that, ‘ be alert’.  When you feel you are being cheated, stop there. When your sixth sense advises you not to go to the date- do not go. You should not try to become over empathetic when the other person ignores you for whatever the reason is. The abuse is abuse irrespective of its nature or deep reasons. The other person who is intentionally ignoring you, is not something to ignore. Believe me things either settle down at the time they are happening or they never settle down. Giving time to your abuser is equal to prolonging your disease with its worse side effects!

You know cancer is such a horrible word that nobody wants to hear about it. The relationship that we could not fix in time, will develop into a cancer in your heart and that cancer will never be re routed successfully. Unfortunately, you will have no time left to fix it  or It will be too late for you to decide about your relationship.

Therefore, If you are in the beginning and you feel that your partner is not behaving as per he/she should – stop there. Do not waste your time in judging and judging and judging. When you start living in your comfort zone, it is next to impossible to leave that. You become selfish, scary, hesitant, and passive with the passing time. Like a slowly effecting poison, you are taking your life day by day!

I do not mean that you do not compromise- rather I mean to compromise with vigilance and with full acknowledgment that you are doing it consciously.  We have doctors who warn us about upcoming diseases and possible precautions, we remember all healthy tips by heart to stay healthy, we take medicines to fight with side effects but when it comes to relationships, we listen to our heart and close our brain-eyes. We want to live in dreams and those dreams do not let us live according to our will. Therefore, it is worth keeping track of all your decisions and get tips from the professionals in time to save your future and its related happiness.

Cheers!

The Beauty Of The Law Of Attraction

I have read more than 50 books on the Law of Attraction and they all focus on the same thing but the way of expression is different. I cannot see any difference of opinion between, the writers main focus. They all believe in the state of receiving. They all agree on the power of gratitude. They all are convinced of the idea that positive begets positive. They all think our thoughts define us. They all stress upon being stress free and feel good. They all want us to be out of the circle of self pity and depressed thoughts. They all want us to feel better in spite of our bitter realities. They encourage us to imagine what we want and to be thankful for what we desire. They are not mad, in saying so. There must be some reality in these statements. I am so far not very much convinced.

Yesterday, my son asked me for a new toy. He was not behaving so I replied, ‘no’. I said, ‘ you do not deserve it right now’. Then my son tried to control his emotions and again asked for that toy. I was not happy with buying that toy for a son who is annoying me with his rude and selfish behavior. The next day, my son forgot his desire. He remained with me all day while saying, ‘mom, you are looking beautiful in this dress’. I was very happy. Then he said, ‘ mom, I like this toy very much  that you have chosen for me. I do not need any more’. I was extremely happy for his nice attitude and gestures. Then he passed by his favorite toy and said,’ mom, I want it, but if you do not like to buy it for me, it is OK’.  I  stopped there and bought that toy for him at once. I bought two toys for him of his choice at that time – almost forcibly. I bought the toys not because he was asking them rather because I was planning to give these toys to him as a reward for his good and nice behavior.

This is the trick of the Law Of Attraction. We need to be patient, calm, and pleasant on the realities of our life till the time of  abundance comes to us. Till the universe makes us happy forever. Till we become what we want to become. Till we get our desires in the way we like. Till we feel, how we like to feel in our lives. Till we achieve what we have been longing for. We need to be thankful for the Universe in advance for all those things we are asking. We need to make sure that the universe is going to respond us very soon – sooner than a mother’s heart.

Being a Muslim, I can quote some of the prayers that convey the same meanings :

  1. God will give you a life of happiness, but you need to be a thankful human being.
  2. God will increase His blessings upon the people who are thankful.
  3. If you will adopt the right path, He will increase his blessings and give you what you desire, otherwise neither you will get what you want nor you will get any other blessing.
  4. God will increase your wealth if you become fearful of God.

Andy many others convey the similar meanings stressing upon the importance of gratitude and feeling good. We cannot ignore such teachings if we want to achieve the real happiness in life.

As the bible says:

  1. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
  2. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.
  3. Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers

There are many others to quote in this regard. All of such statements focus on us – being grateful to the God. They say we need to be grateful to God or we will not be blessed. It means we will not be happy  in both ways- with holding wealth or without having wealth.

So, the time has come when we need to understand what we need : happiness, wealth, peace or suffering. We will be gifted all according to our own individual traits. Now, it depends on us how we react to our circumstances. In positive scenario, we will be blessed and in negative lights we will be in trouble. All of our realities are reflections of our thoughts, so be careful in deciding about something, in reflecting on something, and in evaluating your life critically as all of these thoughts are ultimately going to fill your future full of miseries or full of fortunes.

Thanks