………..if you love me!

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Every body in this world loves to his or her family in his or her unique way. This looks very ridiculous when one defines love as the definition of love is perceived very differently by each of us. After all we all are human. Our perceptions are unique and valuable. However, when it is the true love, it does not matter how you are going to display it.

For example, one could buy a new care for his beloved one, the other could buy a ring, and someone could just buy a flower to express his intimate love. Even one can express his love by different ways in one’s  life at different occasions. There is no ambiguity in this definition at all.

The second way of expressing love is through gestures, attitudes and behaviour. When one is caring, helping and behaving nicely to his beloved, it is the expression of love. There are ,no doubt, thousands of expressions to show love to your beloved ones. And many of us adopt a unique way to express their feelings of love to their beloved ones. We don’t find this information contradictory and confusing at all.

The third way is very strange and negative. Some people among us think they love someone when they :

Expect care from others,

Expect respect from others,

Force others to follow them,

Motivate others to imitate them,

Make others to obey them,

Help others to make them obliged,

Speak with them to give them company they need,

Even love them in charity,

Teach others the ways they like for them to adopt,

Try to influence others by their thoughts and beliefs,

Want to see others as per their own wish and desire,

And think they are superior to all whom they love the most.

In short they  think they love their fellows, that is why they are supposed to guide them in the way they think is better for them. They never leave their beloved ones free to choose; rather they limit their options by hook or crook . They never care for others aspirations, dreams or skills; rather they expect total surrender to their wishes from them. These people think they are in love with their beloved ones and this is the true expression of their love for them. So much so, some of them cross the road of humanity and dignity in their perception of love and become perpetrators of sexual, emotional and psychological abuse. There is no excuse for them, as they don’t know the definition of love. This is absolutely a crime, an abuse and a selfish human act that should never be ignored. Please perceive the love of your beloved ones in these lines; otherwise the next victim of abuse could be you!

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When  A Long Abusive Relationship Starts Flourishing!

Calamities are of different kinds: bad health, bad relationship, bad weather, bad results, bad luck and many more. We are always prone to divert our attention to them more than our fortunes: good health, good relationship, good weather, good results, good luck and many other goods. This is our nature. Being a human, we should save ourselves first from bad episodes of life, then should think about our good things. Safety always comes first . So do not worry about it.

When it comes to dealing with bad episodes, we need to think more. It is not always a quick fix when it comes to relationship puzzles. We for most of the time, cannot understand the other person from his/her behavior/gesture or attitude visible to naked eyes. We become such a fool that we even could not recognize our fault of misperception for years.

The question is why? Why the time comes when you start feeling regret? Why you waste your time in assessing your partner’s gestures and could not reach a better conclusion soon? Why you permit yourself to be indulged into a fake and critical relationship? Why you close your eyes? Why not, you take a step immediately, right after smelling something wrong?

In the third world countries, we know the answer. We respect our traditions more than our lives. We try to keep our customs alive than keeping our relationship healthy. We are bound to follow a path we are destined for. We, especially the women, are not economically independent and are not safe at all so we have no other choice except to accept all whether it is wrong or right. Women crush their wills, desires, wishes, wants, needs and spend a life that was designed for them either by their fathers, brothers or so called husbands. They do not play dead rather they are dead!

For the girls who want to learn something about the relationship, my advice is that, ‘ be alert’.  When you feel you are being cheated, stop there. When your sixth sense advises you not to go to the date- do not go. You should not try to become over empathetic when the other person ignores you for whatever the reason is. The abuse is abuse irrespective of its nature or deep reasons. The other person who is intentionally ignoring you, is not something to ignore. Believe me things either settle down at the time they are happening or they never settle down. Giving time to your abuser is equal to prolonging your disease with its worse side effects!

You know cancer is such a horrible word that nobody wants to hear about it. The relationship that we could not fix in time, will develop into a cancer in your heart and that cancer will never be re routed successfully. Unfortunately, you will have no time left to fix it  or It will be too late for you to decide about your relationship.

Therefore, If you are in the beginning and you feel that your partner is not behaving as per he/she should – stop there. Do not waste your time in judging and judging and judging. When you start living in your comfort zone, it is next to impossible to leave that. You become selfish, scary, hesitant, and passive with the passing time. Like a slowly effecting poison, you are taking your life day by day!

I do not mean that you do not compromise- rather I mean to compromise with vigilance and with full acknowledgment that you are doing it consciously.  We have doctors who warn us about upcoming diseases and possible precautions, we remember all healthy tips by heart to stay healthy, we take medicines to fight with side effects but when it comes to relationships, we listen to our heart and close our brain-eyes. We want to live in dreams and those dreams do not let us live according to our will. Therefore, it is worth keeping track of all your decisions and get tips from the professionals in time to save your future and its related happiness.

Cheers!

The Best Medicine For Stressed Parents  

 

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In todays modern lifestyle, everyone is stressed up, tired and bore,  especially the parents. In most of the parts of the world, parents are usually engaged in earnings and greatly tired when back home. Even if one of the parents is not working hand, he or she must be doing house chores and at the end of the day would feel strained, pains, and aches with dull and strange mood. Each one of us is suffering from some kind of anxieties so they will further boost the stress and play their role in feeling less energetic and rude to some extent. Usually parents are irritating and annoyed on trivial matters of children. They feel like to take a long, deep sleep when their children want their time!

Not all of you have the same situation so I will focus on the group who is especially stressful and full of anxiety and depression at the moment. However, it is becoming very common routine of parents nowadays to become more critical and less sharing with their kids. My observation is not different in this regard. I have seen many who just want to get rid of their day to day routine and want an escape. They are simply not ready to accept the reality of their situation that they are Parents now and no more kids!

What parents do when they feel low? Usually they take medicines, go for the therapies, and try several tips to return to their old track. They go for swimming, for example, go for a walk, go to the gym, go to yoga, listen soft and soothing music, change their eating habits, and do whatever their source suggests them to do to live a stress free life. The point is that all of such tactics are not wrong if they do not  forget one thing all together.

They forget that nature can never ever do something wrong with them. They, being a parent, are not blessed with only duties, responsibilities and anxieties. Nature’s blessings are  equal to everyone. It makes no sense that what a wealthy man can afford to relax, a poor cannot. This is especially not true with the parental stress. Nature cannot be biased in bestowing her blessings to its creation. There must be something wrong with us. We must have forgotten something very important and unique; so we are suffering.

That, something very important is, that the best medicine is the sharing your love with someone: your parents, siblings, your children or your friends. When you love someone, you are in cool mood, stress free and fresh. When you become parents you become more responsible and mature. This does not mean you cannot play with your kids. You need to understand that playing with your kids is not only your kids wish and need; it is basically your physical and innate need. Moreover, playing with your kid will reduce your stress hormones, give you more happiness, increase your oxygen level, boost your energy, improve your vision and memory and leave you with a refreshed and sexy human being. If you are suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes and any kind of psychological disorder, your time spent with your kids will help you to recover fast.

Here, it is important to note that playing with your kids should not be taken as going with your kids to the playground or playing areas. You should spare some time to play with your children every day in which you play a role just like your kid. You may pretend that, but it is the most important part of the game. Even if your kids play with their siblings, cousins, or friends, your role will never be compensated. Thus to become a loving and caring parent, you need to engage yourself with your kids as much as possible. It will not only help your kids to become a good human being rather get you away from present or upcoming diseases, sufferings, anxieties, and stresses.

If you have another point to raise in this regard, please do not mind commenting on it. I would love to reply you in my humble capacity.

Thanks

Think Before!

When we go to the market to buy some electric item, we consider all the specifications in detail and compare their quality with their price. For example, in the shopping of computer, we consider hard drive capacity, screen size, RAM, processor type, etc. We take it as a whole and compare several times with other categories of the product.In short, we try to satisfy ourselves from every aspect and then decide about the purchase. The people who do not care much, usually ends up in frustration and cry over spilt milk. The lesson of the story is that we need to do all kinds of necessary homework if we want to be satisfied with our purchases and expenditures.

My focus is not about marketing attitudes rather the attitudes that we use to establish new relationships. How much we think before making a person a friend? How much we think about someone before making him/her a soul mate or roommate? How much we think before making someone a close friend? How much we think before becoming a parent? How much we think before we go for a marriage, especially in eastern cultures? How much we think before we take any step in life regarding the profession, education or immigration. How much we think before any break-up? If you think that you are very much vigilant and smart in such matters, then this article is not for you.

If you believe and you have already experienced a lot of drastic decisions that make you realize that you were in a hurry or you had to spend much time on pros and cons of your decisions then you need a proper training. Training to understand the fact that you need to think before.

What kind of thoughts may help you in this regard? Basically, we are in a hurry and decide emotionally about our emotional relationships as a human. We can answer such questions after having a little research work such as:

a. The person belongs to what kind of family
i. Honest
ii. Dishonest
iii. Rich
iv. Poor
v. Strong
vi. Weak
vii. Famous
viii. Stranger

b. The person’s past involves what kind of relationships
i. True
ii. Cheater
iii. Rich
iv. Temporary
v. Long
vi. Consistent

c. The person’s habits include what types
i. Harmful
ii. Healthy
iii. Mature
iv. Immature
v. Regular
vi. Irregular

d. The person’s friends speak about him/her in what tone
i. Fair
ii. Friendly
iii. Loving
iv. Reserve
v. Selfish

e. The persons living area is of what type
i. Neat
ii. Dirty
iii. Tidy
iv. Simple
v. Strange

f. The person’s beliefs are of what type
i. Religious
1. Name of the religion
2. Name of specific beliefs
3. Activities to practice
ii. Non religious
1. Beliefs in specific terms
2. Practices in specific terms

g. The persons limits are about what kind
i. In financial matters
ii. In domestic life
iii. In professional life

h. The persons negative and positive attributes
i. With family members
ii. With neighbors
iii. With personal relationships

i. The person’s spending habits
i. With friends
ii. With relatives
iii. With strangers

j. The person’s moral and social habits.
i. In general, as a whole
ii. In family
iii. With friends

There could be several sub categories to discuss further in this regard. It is all worth thinking ahead, otherwise you might be suffering from bad consequences to severe traumas due to your emotional and instant decisions about having a relationship in your life.
Thanks

Why Do Not We, Touch Hearts?

In today’s world, everybody seems to look healthy, prosperous, happy and tempted to earn more and more. Each one of us is in the race to get more money to spend, more things to enjoy, more pills to become healthier and more tasks to pursue. We, are blindly following our standards. Some of us are more persistent and ambitious than others in doing that. Some are more hardworking and motivated to achieve their goals than others. Some are more focused and strict in their routine to get what they want from life. Some wait for others to help them out to get what they want. Some remain contented and enjoy whatever they already have. The main idea is that we in one way or the other are in the similar programming:

a. Following a path to get somewhere
b. Fulfilling our present needs to get more in future
c. Looking for other ways to improve our present condition
d. Attracting new paths, new goals, and new tasks every day
e. Trying to look happy in the meanwhile
f. Smiling to leave an impression on others
g. Being social to fulfill our social needs
There is one exception: the people who live in their past. So they are exempted from this discussion.

Apart from all that, have you ever considered the feeling that you are missing every day, with each step you ahead, with each goal you achieve, with each success you embrace. The feeling in your heart – the pure touching feeling!
You must be enjoying your life though. You might be happy with your present finances and family matters. You might be having vocations in the nearby country to have fun. Even then I would say you are missing something. Something touchable- something for free; however, not each one among you could experience that!

To help others by all means. Have you ever thought, to help others, means to help yourself. When you help others, you feel light, ecstatic, and touchable. Your feelings are unique, distinct and subtle. Your feelings are pure, perfect and complete. You feel a lot in a single moment, you go miles ahead in a second, you are at the highest place in just one minute. Those feelings you must have in your life before, but for how many times- once or twice. So you are missing them badly. You do not know how much you need them. Your real health lies in that secret. Your existence is only possible if you feel like that – touchable.

Although there are many other things to do in the name of goodness, but my emphasis is on the things that we do for others on a voluntary basis. These things bring a real joy in our heart that is priceless indeed. When we get gratitude from others, we feel gratitude in our heart too, and that means we touch hearts. In other words we say thanks to the Universe in our own way. We are sending a message of gratitude to the universe. Touching hearts must be spread all over the world to increase the volume of gratitude – to reduce the miseries, diseases, cruelties and sufferings. Give me a hand in doing that. Will you?
Thanks