family

To Crazy, Hardworking, Housewives​!

TAKE A BREAK!

WHEN YOU HAVE LESS TIME TO ENJOY; YOU WILL ENJOY MORE!

Enjoyment is basically very relative term. Our brains are designed to enjoy when we have certain limitations. They might be limitations of time, energy, or space. For example, when we take a short break after a long hard work; we enjoy our little break more than the full day off. Similarly, we enjoy the ‘day-off’ more than the weak holidays. Here, I am focusing on the housewives who totally devote their time to house affairs and kids. Obviously, they find time to take rest occasionally but at the same time their job is never ending and seems to continue forever! People would never regard their work as a real work – rather they would think these women are either enjoying or wasting their time. So much so, these women don’t themselves recognize their efforts towards the humanity and universe overall. Many of these working women go into depression and become patients of anxiety and stress disorders. They find no outlet for themselves unless they seek for it with passion and motivation. Moreover, they are never appreciated on their traits by their close family members for being a hard worker at home, for being a sacrificing human at home, for being gentle and caring at home or for being restless at home!

If you think you are fit in these women’s general criteria and you are one of them then take a break. You don’t need to go ahead in your blind passion for house chores. There is no stop line and you will get nothing out of it. It is not an advertisement about money matters, financial freedom or requirement of the job by the job market. My concern is related to your mental health, self-esteem, and self-enhancement living within your limits and opportunities. If and for most of the time, you are free to choose your destiny; then throw yourself into the sea of unknown – outside. There are plenty of opportunities for you to choose from, to excel and to get adapted to. You should never ever choose to live under someone’s influence and control with no gain at all. This sounds crazy! Isn’t it! Yes, it is. Even if you feel tired and exhausted while doing two jobs at the same time, you are traveling towards your goals and not stagnant at one place!

In short, for the women of patriarchal cultures, women should take a break from the house chores and do something else to bring a change into their mental and physical lives. Otherwise, nobody will force them to do that. The culture, beliefs, and customs would keep them from real life situations and stop their energies to flourish. Such women should not rely on their fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons to take care of them in old age; rather they should take a step ahead to take care of themselves. And that is worth taking care! Such breaks would make them happy, calm and energetic than being lethargic, stuck and confused while doing lots.

THANKS 

‘How We Live Together’ Defines Our Kids Personalities

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note: courtesy to Google Images

We, being parents, want to give our kids the best of all: education, health, success, happiness and whatever they desire. To gain the goals above, we adapt different strategies and techniques. Some hire classes of different kinds to keep their children fit: yoga, tennis, golf, swimming, gymnastic, foot ball, etc. Some focus on health and provide their kids the best of all kinds of food: apple, oranges, juices, vegetables, pure milk, eggs, honey, etc. Some would allow their kids to play all types of games and movies on their I Pads, tablets, mobile phones and laptops. Some would even go for the most expensive toys to please their kids and fill their brains with lots of happy moments as much as possible. Some would plan vacations for their kids amusement and pleasure-full of Disney land activities! There is no limit to that. Some would go to the library with their kids to make them the most intellectuals of the world- scientists or doctors. Though, these all options contribute towards the well fare of the kids overall healthy development; these are not enough!

We, being a real human being forget the emotional part of the environment. One part is with us in shape of hard materialistic life-style and other one is the emotional background that provide us with our identity about who we are and what we belong to. It is not sufficient to say that we belong to a middle class family or a very religious family or a modern one. The experiences we share on daily basis are more specific and accurate to define our identity. To simplify the situation we can think of the families in which:

  1. Parents respect each other and usually each partner puts the other one’s need ahead of the children needs. Mother is sharing economical burden too, so she is confident and happy inside. Fathers share house hold responsibilities too to maintain an healthy environment. When mother feels good, she reacts nicely towards kids sudden inquiries. Father can get some time everyday for his family and they together spend some quality time each day. So kids get the feeling of harmony, love and unity from their family background.
  2. Parents live together but do not respect each other in front of children. Father deals with wife as if she is a servant and often uses verbally abusive language to degrade her in different ways. Mother is scared of living alone (due to being a stay at tome house wife) so is forcibly living with her husband to keep the family life intact. Mother is quite passionate about her child as if she thinks her children would become her power some day to protect her from her husband. Children get scary feelings from such environment and are quite hesitant to initiate, to ask questions, and to behave appropriately in a social gathering. Their self-esteem is strongly damaged through such environmental experiences.
  3. Parents try to cheat each other in front of children. They take care of children to get the attention of the other partner. They are not involved in the upbringing of their kids wholeheartedly. Parents think that kids are like burden or responsibility so they have to raise them. Parents have their own goals and they keep them higher than other goals including their kids fresh demands/needs. In this environment kids would feel neglected and lonely and would seek for other resources to keep them entertained and happy. They would start thinking of leaving their parents home as early as they grow up due to having no intimate or friendly relationship with their parents.

Similarly, we can define thousand backgrounds that kids come from. These emotional backgrounds shape our kids personalities. Therefore it does not matter what we teach them:  honesty, bravery, or empathy.  What matters is where they come from. We set their environment and they react to it accordingly. Hope this will help someone to understand the kids behaviour and pave a way for someone to alter the way they are living TOGETHER!

Think Before!

When we go to the market to buy some electric item, we consider all the specifications in detail and compare their quality with their price. For example, in the shopping of computer, we consider hard drive capacity, screen size, RAM, processor type, etc. We take it as a whole and compare several times with other categories of the product.In short, we try to satisfy ourselves from every aspect and then decide about the purchase. The people who do not care much, usually ends up in frustration and cry over spilt milk. The lesson of the story is that we need to do all kinds of necessary homework if we want to be satisfied with our purchases and expenditures.

My focus is not about marketing attitudes rather the attitudes that we use to establish new relationships. How much we think before making a person a friend? How much we think about someone before making him/her a soul mate or roommate? How much we think before making someone a close friend? How much we think before becoming a parent? How much we think before we go for a marriage, especially in eastern cultures? How much we think before we take any step in life regarding the profession, education or immigration. How much we think before any break-up? If you think that you are very much vigilant and smart in such matters, then this article is not for you.

If you believe and you have already experienced a lot of drastic decisions that make you realize that you were in a hurry or you had to spend much time on pros and cons of your decisions then you need a proper training. Training to understand the fact that you need to think before.

What kind of thoughts may help you in this regard? Basically, we are in a hurry and decide emotionally about our emotional relationships as a human. We can answer such questions after having a little research work such as:

a. The person belongs to what kind of family
i. Honest
ii. Dishonest
iii. Rich
iv. Poor
v. Strong
vi. Weak
vii. Famous
viii. Stranger

b. The person’s past involves what kind of relationships
i. True
ii. Cheater
iii. Rich
iv. Temporary
v. Long
vi. Consistent

c. The person’s habits include what types
i. Harmful
ii. Healthy
iii. Mature
iv. Immature
v. Regular
vi. Irregular

d. The person’s friends speak about him/her in what tone
i. Fair
ii. Friendly
iii. Loving
iv. Reserve
v. Selfish

e. The persons living area is of what type
i. Neat
ii. Dirty
iii. Tidy
iv. Simple
v. Strange

f. The person’s beliefs are of what type
i. Religious
1. Name of the religion
2. Name of specific beliefs
3. Activities to practice
ii. Non religious
1. Beliefs in specific terms
2. Practices in specific terms

g. The persons limits are about what kind
i. In financial matters
ii. In domestic life
iii. In professional life

h. The persons negative and positive attributes
i. With family members
ii. With neighbors
iii. With personal relationships

i. The person’s spending habits
i. With friends
ii. With relatives
iii. With strangers

j. The person’s moral and social habits.
i. In general, as a whole
ii. In family
iii. With friends

There could be several sub categories to discuss further in this regard. It is all worth thinking ahead, otherwise you might be suffering from bad consequences to severe traumas due to your emotional and instant decisions about having a relationship in your life.
Thanks