Thoughts That Matter!

When you are going out for a walk or for any trivial thing, what is usually in your mind? Very simple, you think about things to do next or things going on in your life at that moment. Sometimes, some kind of information is so strong that you even cant focus on your present talk- this time the information hidden in your brain is stronger than all other confounding factors. Let’s say you have been told that you are going to be a millionaire- should you see the world around you in the same light or very differently. Definitely very differently. Your all vision to see the world including trees, flowers, grasses, landscapes, seaside, buildings, roads or even a look on your own close family members will be changed for that moment! And what next- you will smile and react on the information with great gestures. You might be very pleasing, happy and satisfied in the coming few days at least! You will be under the influence of this informational background until you get some other unconscious thoughts to interrupt this one. Then you will be again under the effect of that specific thought. And the circle of unconscious tutorship will never end until you die!

This is a very powerful technique if we utilize it in our learning paradigm. We must encourage our kids to learn more and more not because of the motivation of getting some rewards or not having punishment incentives rather because in the mind there is something powerful to guide them in the way they should. It could be a thought that you have to do it for the sake of your dignity, respect and honour; or it could be a thought that challenging kids are always winners or leaders, or it could be a belief that you have to prove that you can do it by tomorrow. It might not be suitable to the young pupil; however, it will be must strategy for the teenagers. For the young pupil, there should be something to achieve practically- other than an abstract concept. They should be given a title to prove themselves what they should look like. They would happily imitate that personality/model in real life. Moreover, it should be unique to maintain the integrity of the child. It should also be relevant to the child’s personality. It can be an odd idea or can be any complex concept that a child may grasp, accept and internalize. One would need to juggle around to find a strategy to deal with the child’s unconscious mind so that he could start living up to the high standards(usually set by parents or teachers). It looks very simple- but indeed it is not that easy!

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How can we give feedback in the shape of unconscious​ background?​

 

We all know we have a conscious and unconscious mind and we all deal with our mind continuously all the time. It is very much clear that without mind, we cannot survive. The things we do with our choice, like or dislike are always considered part of our behaviour and the things that form our experiences, on the whole, become part of our memories. We live a life with motivations, aspirations, accomplishments, disappointments, worries, appreciations and total satisfaction/dissatisfaction overall. In our day to day life, sometimes we just don’t want to do something and we think our mood is off. We don’t feel thrilled to do something. Many times we don’t know the reason behind those low mood episodes and sometimes we exactly know what is the reason behind our depress mood. Our depress mood is the first sign of our depressive life in case it continues and we don’t do anything to stop its occurrences. So, suppose we don’t know the reason for our upset mood- in this case, we cannot do much help to uplift our spirit. Whereas, when we know what is the reason behind our low mood and our reason is someone else’s behaviour with us- then, in this case, we are again in the helpless situation. You got it, that in this case that significant other would need to resolve the issue. If I tell you I am angry with you and don’t tell you the reason for that – how will you react? If I tell you, that you are worst- what will be your reaction? On the other side, when I tell you that I love you, what will you feel like? On listening something positive your all day will be a great time of your life – and you will do many things with feeling love right inside your brain. So we can say that, sometimes, some people create our unconscious with their loving words, gestures, statements, language, behaviour or whatever the way they choose to say that they love you. And on the other side some people, all the time remind us that we are bad and thus ruin our lifetime

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For the people who belong to the ‘difficult’ category, and who make other’s life miserable with no guilt, I have no advice. For the people who are in that abusive situation, and facing such people in their life on a daily basis, at first, stop being stupid by thinking that you are dealing with humans. Such people are unpredictable, miserable to deal with, and highly toxic. Believe me, they don’t need even your attention span for a second! However, if you have to deal with them, be careful and be aware of your safety exit roots!

LIFE SAVING DRUGS – THREATS TO LIFE!

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I wonder why we struggle for something important to us. Though it is the pure way to express ourselves in the best possible manner; it is not always justifiable. Actually we are slaves of many things starting from our dreams, desires, aspirations, obligations, concepts and perceptions to our customs, culture and religion. We can tell a lie to our friends, parents, and relatives, but we know what is truth inside us. We know we are following a path of our own choice.

Unconsciously or consciously we are running towards our set goals. In this journey we never stop. Starting from our birthday, when we cry for our favourite toys, dolls, and cars until the day of death when we only yearn for a healthy body! At times we are hungry for food, and the other times we are happy for our newly bought luxury car. People forget about their dreams after they achieve them and start dreaming again! We are human, so we do the same.

The point is that why we do all of this stuff ? Do we really really need it? Can we live a happy life without something we desire very deeply in our heart? Should we strive for the success or for the peace hidden in that success? Are we not wasting our time by engaging ourselves in worldly affairs? Is there any power to save us from cruelties of life miraculously or we are just believing in supernatural powers to feel protected and secured?

Whatever is the case, we are not ready to leave our mind-set for any trivial reason. We want to experience the reality and check about the laws ourselves through our own experiments. We don’t like short cuts; rather we want to struggle hard to find the truth. We are like young kids who want to check if the fire burns or not. How can we behave wisely in our childhood?

You know what is the first thing in life- important to all of you whether you are young, adult or old? The very first and foremost thing in life is your own peace of mind and satisfaction over all. Until or unless you are not satisfied with whatever you do; you will not stop running around. At the same time if you are happy, satisfied and at peace; you are there already where each one of us want to reach. Now its up to you, how you get that eternal peace – through adopting the ways that most suit you or through following the paths of other successful humans.

The most important care in this self examination is that you should not keep negative goals with you in the first place. The negative goals are never meant to get the same positive results. So if you want to become rich and then happy; you are basically negative in your approach. You need to mend your thought and say that you want to become happy- might be through riches or other sources of nature. In this way, you are totally positive in your basic approach towards life.

Keep it up and be happy!

Envy for being Your Daughter!

I love my daughters as much as I love my sons. I could never imagine anybody gives any harm to them in any form. I will always protect them. There is no excuse or reason why could not I listen to their heart and support them in life. My first priority is my kids and then others.
One of my daughters is married and living in her own home that she bought a few years back. She can come to see me anytime and the same is with me- I can go to her house anytime. My son-in-law often visits me and helps me in house chores just like he helps his mom in his parents home. We don’t mind visiting each other many times. We don’t follow any custom in this regard. Daughters and sons live their own independent life. They get married by their own choice and live in their own independent home. Though they can live with their parents; anyhow it is usually not very practical. It all depends on the circumstances where one chooses to live! Our sons are brought up just like girls. They don’t feel shy in doing house chores and helping their moms and dads. We don’t discriminate among kids based on gender. Girls can have as many friends as boys. Girls can move freely everywhere in the country. Girls are secure and happy. They know how to follow their dreams and parents never stop them rather help them in achieving those. We don’t spend lavishly in marriages. We, men and women, enjoy the freedom of choice, abundance, care, support, and dignity while living together. We even don’t discriminate between professions; for us, all professions are equally valuable. A sweeper is as respectable as the head teacher. I will not mind if my daughter ( a doctor) would choose a boy ( only high school pass) for her partner. We are quite open minded people. We don’t force anything on anybody. Everyone has his own weaknesses and strengths so we should tolerate each other differences. Yes, we don’t allow someone causing any kind of harm to anyone: psychological, emotional, physical, financial, social or sexual. We protect each person from being abused. We live happily with each other or don’t live with abusive partners. There is no need to be quiet and sacrifice. Our society is full of love, respect, harmony, dignity, freedom, happiness and growth. We celebrate our development together. We enjoy life fully!

These words are not mine. These words are words of almost every women in the UK. I met a new person each day and find that she is so much happy, secure, free and rich. We, living in Pakistan, couldn’t even imagine such a luxury in life. No drama, no trauma, and no abuse at all. If you find some news contradictory to what I said- they are not many. Most of the women are living a peaceful life from all backgrounds. So, should we ever give our traditions and customs the second thought to modify to the overall good!

Should money be the root cause of all​ happiness!

 

 

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I always cherished wealth as something beautiful, alluring and mind-blowing thing to feel proud of. I have never thought my life ahead without my pretty, ambitious desires, wishes, and aspirations. I thought it is the only form of happiness one could achieve by hard work and motivation. I thought I need to have a rich background if I want so and so….

Now I feel I was 100 percent wrong. People still would not feel like me – as it is very hard to realize what it is in the actual sense. Let me give you some examples:

A person dying from any trivial form of cancer would be ready to give his all belongings to you in return of his health!

A person who wants to become a parent would be much likely to spend all his wealth to fulfill his/her ultimate desire!

A person who is crazy for being socially acceptable and popular artist, would not care for his wealth in case he needs to spend it lavishly to achieve his goal!

A person who wants to settle down abroad might empty his all bank balance to create a life of his own choice!

Anyone who is crazy for someone or something could sacrifice much more wealth than he realizes for that very cause. Nothing wrong with it.

In short, we, basically, follow our desires, aspirations, and inspirations in life after fulfilling our basic needs of food, health, and shelter. And we are always ready to spend on such wishes, no matter how strange they are in the eyes of others. In other words, our wishes or needs (not basic) are our bosses who control us and make us think about them. We for most of the time are under such influence and for a very short time act wisely. It creates a vicious circle of desiring and fulfillment – after one wish always there is one more. Should it ever stop! Just like hope, such desires never stop, rather should not stop. The only thing we could do better is to control these loops through planning wisely. We can focus on our long-term goals and leave other distractions at all. After fulfilling our basic needs, we should not be controlled by others: marketers, business men, customer seekers, or any other entrepreneur. These people would never let us follow our real goals and distract us from achieving them by hard ways. Therefore, it is our duty to carry out all that is needed to follow our goals of life and spend money in the right direction, not anywhere else.

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Thus, money itself is not helpful in any way; rather it provides us ways to satisfy our needs – need to fulfil our hunger, need to have a shelter, need of dressing up, need of maintaining social status, need to learn, need to become a healthy person, need to explore the world in depth, need to get married, need to get trained and need to earn more and more. It implies that if you are a needy person- you would need money and at the same time you would not need money if you are satisfied with your life overall. If all said above is true, whom, you guess should be the wealthiest person of the world!

To Crazy, Hardworking, Housewives​!

TAKE A BREAK!

WHEN YOU HAVE LESS TIME TO ENJOY; YOU WILL ENJOY MORE!

Enjoyment is basically very relative term. Our brains are designed to enjoy when we have certain limitations. They might be limitations of time, energy, or space. For example, when we take a short break after a long hard work; we enjoy our little break more than the full day off. Similarly, we enjoy the ‘day-off’ more than the weak holidays. Here, I am focusing on the housewives who totally devote their time to house affairs and kids. Obviously, they find time to take rest occasionally but at the same time their job is never ending and seems to continue forever! People would never regard their work as a real work – rather they would think these women are either enjoying or wasting their time. So much so, these women don’t themselves recognize their efforts towards the humanity and universe overall. Many of these working women go into depression and become patients of anxiety and stress disorders. They find no outlet for themselves unless they seek for it with passion and motivation. Moreover, they are never appreciated on their traits by their close family members for being a hard worker at home, for being a sacrificing human at home, for being gentle and caring at home or for being restless at home!

If you think you are fit in these women’s general criteria and you are one of them then take a break. You don’t need to go ahead in your blind passion for house chores. There is no stop line and you will get nothing out of it. It is not an advertisement about money matters, financial freedom or requirement of the job by the job market. My concern is related to your mental health, self-esteem, and self-enhancement living within your limits and opportunities. If and for most of the time, you are free to choose your destiny; then throw yourself into the sea of unknown – outside. There are plenty of opportunities for you to choose from, to excel and to get adapted to. You should never ever choose to live under someone’s influence and control with no gain at all. This sounds crazy! Isn’t it! Yes, it is. Even if you feel tired and exhausted while doing two jobs at the same time, you are traveling towards your goals and not stagnant at one place!

In short, for the women of patriarchal cultures, women should take a break from the house chores and do something else to bring a change into their mental and physical lives. Otherwise, nobody will force them to do that. The culture, beliefs, and customs would keep them from real life situations and stop their energies to flourish. Such women should not rely on their fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons to take care of them in old age; rather they should take a step ahead to take care of themselves. And that is worth taking care! Such breaks would make them happy, calm and energetic than being lethargic, stuck and confused while doing lots.

THANKS 

………..if you love me!

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Every body in this world loves to his or her family in his or her unique way. This looks very ridiculous when one defines love as the definition of love is perceived very differently by each of us. After all we all are human. Our perceptions are unique and valuable. However, when it is the true love, it does not matter how you are going to display it.

For example, one could buy a new care for his beloved one, the other could buy a ring, and someone could just buy a flower to express his intimate love. Even one can express his love by different ways in one’s  life at different occasions. There is no ambiguity in this definition at all.

The second way of expressing love is through gestures, attitudes and behaviour. When one is caring, helping and behaving nicely to his beloved, it is the expression of love. There are ,no doubt, thousands of expressions to show love to your beloved ones. And many of us adopt a unique way to express their feelings of love to their beloved ones. We don’t find this information contradictory and confusing at all.

The third way is very strange and negative. Some people among us think they love someone when they :

Expect care from others,

Expect respect from others,

Force others to follow them,

Motivate others to imitate them,

Make others to obey them,

Help others to make them obliged,

Speak with them to give them company they need,

Even love them in charity,

Teach others the ways they like for them to adopt,

Try to influence others by their thoughts and beliefs,

Want to see others as per their own wish and desire,

And think they are superior to all whom they love the most.

In short they  think they love their fellows, that is why they are supposed to guide them in the way they think is better for them. They never leave their beloved ones free to choose; rather they limit their options by hook or crook . They never care for others aspirations, dreams or skills; rather they expect total surrender to their wishes from them. These people think they are in love with their beloved ones and this is the true expression of their love for them. So much so, some of them cross the road of humanity and dignity in their perception of love and become perpetrators of sexual, emotional and psychological abuse. There is no excuse for them, as they don’t know the definition of love. This is absolutely a crime, an abuse and a selfish human act that should never be ignored. Please perceive the love of your beloved ones in these lines; otherwise the next victim of abuse could be you!