The choice​ is Yours!

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Unconscious background matters a lot to succeed in our life or live a happy peaceful life at least. Should we think about it twice before ignoring this very important aspect of our life? True, we need to explore it first. As it is very deep and complex human emotion. Let me give you an example :

You are going to see someone and on the way, you come across some naughty or disturbing people. People react in different manners to deal with the similar, strange, nasty situations. And there could be many types of reactions  – they all depend on your unconscious mindset. Such as:

  1. You are feeling so good inside that you totally ignore the experience and think about the upcoming event seriously.
  2. You react in the manner you think you should react and become angry for a while. Then you motivate yourself not to forget your real aim and goal to meet today.
  3. You not only react to the worse situation rather kept on thinking about it on the way back to home.
  4. You keep quiet on the spot but keep the hurt emotions inside and give a fake smile to others.
  5. You try to convince yourself that it is the part of life but the scenes of that nasty situation come in front of your eyes and you cannot focus properly.

There is no hard and fast rule to adapt to deal with any worse situation in life. It all depends on the situation indeed how you react to it. However; in most of the situations, things would turn back to you due to your negativity and low mood. For example:

Situation no 2 :

In this situation, you become angry and try to deal with your anger for a while. It is not a totally positive situation. If you get out of it very soon, then you are out of the trap of negativity and will conquer the world.

Situation no 3:

The most likely you are in trouble deep. You are going to meet many other similar situations due to your low mood and negativity. You should not expect any good in future.

Situation no 4:

you are dealing with the situation but that is not real you. You are hiding your inner anger and negativity. So again you are not going to find your peace and joy in near future.

Situation no 5:

In such situation, you are again not in your control. Your emotions are taking you down the way you will find more depression, anxiety, and suffering. Your mood is not energetic and helping to take you to the next level of success and prosperity.

Situation no 1:

In this situation, you are free to move forward in your life. You can expect a bundle of joy, peace, ecstasy, and happiness all around you. Your experiences would take you to another world and yes, that is real you with your true desire fulfilled. It could be anything you adore and wish for.

The bad events or worse situations would come again and again in your life. Usually, for the better results, your consistency, with overall positive emotional health would predict your future in the way you could ever imagine or much better than that. Thanks

 

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What We Perceive In Happy Mood?

We all have different kinds of aspirations, perceptions and beliefs. There are many theories about how we form them, modify and re-establish them for our purposes. Among several theories one is that we make them instantly, indirectly, and unconsciously while experiencing a unique situation or event.  This kind of concept usually becomes the base for other future concepts that would be added into it step by step from time to time. Now consider the following concrete examples for clarity purposes:

  1.   Suppose you are happy and in uplifted mood. On the way back to your home, you see a grand parent coming across your way. You smile for a while and he replies with warmth and a nice gesture. You are again on your way to home.
  2. Suppose you are happy and in great unusual spirit due to some reason. Meanwhile, your friends invite you to join to watch a movie in cinema. You go with them and watch the movie (otherwise a boring stuff for you). You come back with the same mood indeed.
  3. Suppose you are incredibly happy and in a pleasant mood. You go for a walk and do little shopping. You enter a shop and the sales person smiles at you with warmth and welcoming gestures. You roam about and come back.

In the first example, the person who came across an old man in the happiest mood ever, would never be able to forget that man in his life. Whenever he would meet someone resembling like him, he would feel a strange kind feelings and love for him. He might have forgotten the reason for that!

In the second example, the person who watched a boring movie in a real great mood, would never be able to forget that movie.  He is more likely to remember all details with good impressions than criticizing and forgetting. Those impressions are now part of that person and he is less likely to believe in the real cause of liking that movie!

In the third example, the person who meets another person while feeling great pleasant emotions would never be able to dislike that specific person. Rather he would go to that shop repeatedly unconsciously. He would love the sales persons of that shop and environment of that shop overall while ignoring the real cause of his liking.

In all of the above examples, things that convey no meanings in it self become specific and significant due to our unconscious emotional life pace. We are likely to behave better in a better mood, and we usually receive all good in return that become part of our personality eventually. So the circle of happy feelings continue to flourish and grow.

With our happy moods, negative experiences are also likely to depress and dim in degree. We usually do not pay much attention to negative people, negative circumstances or negative environment in our happiest ever moments. In rare times, negative events spoil all our happy taste, but that means that negative event has much more potential to destroy our mood than happy ones.

When You Perceive A Negative Belief In The Name Of Positivity

Positivity is a universal trait and a common factor to enhance our well being all over the world. Every day we learn about positivity and try to adopt it as much as possible in our day to day life. We love to be called as positive parents, couples, children and positive members of our society. We by all means, fight with our negativity and try our best to achieve an acceptable level of  resilience. It is our utmost aim to live a happy, positive and successful life.

Unfortunately, our positivity is not a real positive thing  rather a cultural belief. In some of the cultures of this world, people are suffering from their positive (unnatural and false) attitudes.  For example, in the traditional societies of Pakistan, there are many beliefs that are thought as positive and people love to hold them as a symbol of pride and honour whereas they are a source of grief, anxiety, and depression for the other group of people.

Consider the following examples for clarification purpose:

In Pakistan:

  • It is very common to wish a baby boy for a young couple as boys are thought as superior than girls.
  • Baby girls are thought as guests in their own home. It is very much acceptable belief that a girl’s own home is settled after her marriage.
  • They are usually given less priority in almost all affairs compared to boys. It is very common norm to say exclusively to girls to eat after the boys and serve the others.
  • Some household chores like doing dishes, cleaning pots, washing, and dusting, are reserved for girls due to their very nature (low-degree jobs).
  • Many things like riding a bike, playing in a park, running a shop, riding a bike and dressing up like boys, are thought as boys things so the girls are not allowed to do that.
  • Most of the families do not allow girls to select their partner and they consider it a matter of their honor.
  • On the birth of a baby girl, mothers could be divorced, beaten, or verbally emotionally severely abused.
  • Some professions are taken as reserved for girls only (teaching, medical, and artistic) otherwise boys can join any profession they like to be in.
  • A girl has to obey her husband throughout her life (irrespective of his cruelty, tortures and abuses), as divorce is thought as a stigma on a girl’s life.

People do not accept the right of living alone for their girls as it is  too a matter of honor and dignity.

The list is never ending indeed. My purpose is not to highlighting the discrimination against women in Pakistan, rather to emphasize the idea that some of the cultural things are taken as a symbol of pride, honor and respect; people adopt them and feel happy in adopting them blindly as a part of their culture. They have no idea that their acceptance of cruelty would make the counter parts sick, dumb and vulnerable, susceptible, and unfortunate.

In the light of the above examples, girls feel extremely low self-esteem, decreased level of self-worth, lowest level of self-respect, and lose their self confidence in studies, social life, and after that in professional life. They feel homesick in the company of their own parents, they feel rejected and ignored at home and in society, they feel less powerful in the practical life ahead and in the end they compromise for the sake of their own family – usually children.

What is so positive in the eyes of the public (it is better for girls to stay at home) is not a fair decision. What is  so acceptable among society members (girls are guests in their own homes) is making our half of the population feel homeless and homesick. What is taken as a symbol of honor (you are the mother of boys) is making the daughters feel miserable and less worthy. What is  thought as girls’  sole responsibility (to perform exclusively household duties) is an example of severe gender discrimination.  What is  so common and good tradition of our culture (girls leave their parents on wedding day and live at the mercy of their husband and in laws forever) is making our daughters feel segregated and helpless in many ways. Indeed, these are all rubbish ideas, wrong theories, and false practices established in the dark ages when people lived in caves and had no education at all.

My stance is that one must not accept all the positivity blindly until or unless it is proved that the idea is worth accepting as a positive idea. One culture might involve something negative in the name of positivity. It is not always enough to say that hundreds of thousands of people are following one thing so the thing is worth following. NO. Sometimes, a wrong thing is followed by a large group of people, but the thing is wrong indeed. Thus, it is up to you whether you accept the idea as a positive one or reject it as it is. When a positive idea is positive, it spreads positivity. On the other side, when a negative idea is supported by most people and thought as a positive one- it will generate negativity, discrimination, inequality and resentment. There is no such universal formula that could define what is negativity and what is positivity – but you can save yourself from such messages through a severe negation as they stop you from being active, confident, successful, energetic, passionate, vibrant, creative, professional, empowered, assertive, decisive, happy and lively.

Thanks