Loot at the following statements given by some of the parents for their own children:

Example 1:

I am not happy with my kids when they do not conform to my standards of life. I want them to become a gentleman like  keeping values that I possess. I want them to choose the paths of life I prefer for them. I want their obedience in each and every matter of life. I will not appreciate their supremacy and limit their freedom if they cross the limits.

This woman’s children are by nature very submissive, obedient, and introvert type. They listen to their mother and do whatever she says to do. They are very nice and caring kids. The woman is also very humble and caring one. She only wants her kids, to be honest, caring and sharing type. But the way she is speaking is not what she actually practices and/or means.

Example 2:

I am very liberal minded and would never accept any restriction on my kids. My kids would decide totally what they want from life in terms of education, social life, and family life. They will be independent in making their choices and I would stand with them in their chosen paths. I think one should live according to his/her own unique personality traits.

 This woman is the mother of a girl aged 4 who is very bright, active, clever, assertive, and extrovert type. She only wants her to become an energetic, healthy and happy person in life. Although she would not tolerate her girl’s rudeness and stubborn attitude, in general, yet she does not admit it. She will never allow many things to her girl to adopt; however, she is quite confident that she will not.

Example 2:

I don’t like the comparison between children. I am a mother who is the only well-wisher of her own children. I don’t care what others are doing. I would care for only my own kids, their health, their education and their better life. I am very much focused on my own kids.

 This woman is the mother of a gifted son who is the brightest one in the class. She does not need to compare her son’s achievements with others as he is already the superb and most brilliant child. Her son is a healthy, super cool, hard working, intelligent and a master at certain skills like mathematics and literature.

Example 3:

I am a mother and a teacher as well. I am concerned about my children’s well- being till the level they get going. I want them to fulfill the average standards of society, whether it is a matter of education, morality, sociology or family life. I will never impose my standards on them; however, I will appreciate their own rational and more acceptable standards of life.

This woman has two children who are neither too bright nor too dull. She is happy to help them in all matters of life. She often guides them in education, social life experiences, family life, and morality. She wants them to become good citizens and a good human being. She compares their standards of education with others so that she could assess their work carefully. She only fears her kids would not quit education at a very early stage.

From the above examples, you can see the difference of opinion from the difference of perception: we believe in some concepts of life but talk about something else. We exercise our thoughts in different words while behaving something altogether differently! We are not consistent, unbiased, scientific and clear in our own opinion. We choose words that we believe we need to speak; however, we mean a totally different world of meanings. It is the controversy, but it is important for our survival and dignity. We talk about things that we think are important to us/suit our needs; those things might contradict with other person’s personal needs. So to conclude, listen carefully to your friends and family members when you need some advice; as they might not be aware of your situation at all in giving you a piece of advice politely!