success

Keeping a balance between mind and body while focusing on the goal leads to success:

Courtesy to Google images

Today was the Fun Sports Day in St Mary’s Primary School, Bathgate. My son was also participating and having fun with his friends. It was a sunny day with light wind. I was not sure what I was going to observe and learn about that specific event. I thought I would just pass time and then come back with blank mind. After all the sports level was quite basic. There could hardly be anything to learn from.

Then I started watching little kids running and trying to win enthusiastically and with great passion. I can see real fun on their faces and more fun on the parents of those kids. It was not as boring as I thought I would be.

The main thing was that they all were of the same age in one group and belonged to almost similar cultures. They were having almost similar nurturing environments, learning facilities, and parental involvement. They had no specific instructions on how to win. They all seemed fully engaged with the idea of winning and having fun. I meant to say that despite having similar developmental levels and almost equal learning opportunities, one or two of them stood apart out of the group of around 20 to 25 and won the race.

I observed that the children who won had some similar traits, for instance:

They all were very much focused

They all were maintaining a balance between their brains and body movements

They all seemed very much attentive to their tasks

They all were maintaining a normal pace neither fast nor slow

They won irrespective of their body shape and energy level as some of them were fat

I also noticed that the children who were left behind the winners were sharing some traits too, for instance

Some were fun-seeking

Some were highly enthusiastic

Some were overly anxious

Some were too relaxed

Some seemed uninterested

Some looked depressed

Some were overly conscious

So what do we learn from it. In life, we all try to maintain a balance between our mental states and bodily actions. We get instructions from our brains to complete the tasks as effectively as possible. We all want to reach our goals without losing the balance! At every stage of life, we compare ourselves with people who are similar to us in some capacity. When we see others going fast, we try hard to win. Meanwhile, when we see others leaving behind, we try harder to get better than those who are ahead of us. And the race continues.

In fact, life is not a race. We don’t have to win to compete with others rather we have to win to reach our full potential. When we reach our full potential, it does not matter whether we won or not. So we should try our best and use each and every possible means to find our dreams. We should enjoy the process as well. The goal should not be to win and leave others behind; rather win while utilizing our full potential and improve ourselves to achieve what we want.

Consider the age appropriate reasoning in motivating your kids to do something important to you and them

The word ‘why’ is very important in motivating a person to make some decision. When one believes that the task given to him is worth considering, he/she is naturally inclined towards it. The goal, belief, purpose, benefit or cash whatever is in your mind to boost your energy towards a set task, is the most important thing. It is usually in your unconscious when you set your mind to take an action. There could be one or several motivating forces behind your actions;  however, usually one factor is big enough to make a person willing to do something.

For the children ‘why’ is very important as well. They are never willing to do anything unless you tell them the reason for that. Suppose being a parent you want your child to work hard and stand first in his/her class. You apply different techniques to get that goal. You offer various reasons to work hard. Say you tell them to:

  • Work hard – as it will help you to become a successful man in future
  • Work hard- as it will help you to gain popularity among kids.
  • Work hard- as it will boost your scores in the class.
  • Work hard – as your parents would feel proud of you.
  • Work hard – as you will get a beautiful life after that.
  • Work hard – as you will be punished if you fail.
  • Work hard- it will make you smart and strong.
  • Work hard- if you want to achieve your goals in future.
  • Work hard- it is good for your mental health.
  • Work hard- as it was the wish of your grandparents.
  • Work hard- as I love to see you working hard.

Consider all of these goals wisely and think about them. Do you feel motivated if you are said like that? Rarely, we get involved by these motivational catching statements. What about children- they don’t pay attention at all!

Now change your strategy and divide the time into the units. For the kids, consider the age of the child being a big factor in making them motivated towards doing something. If your child is 5-year-old and he/she is interested in playing with toys for most of the time; then consider this information as the best motivating force. For example:

  • Work hard for one more hour – as I have a secret surprise for you.
  • Work hard for the next two hours- as there is something of your choice waiting for you.
  • Work hard for half an hour please- as we are going to play together after that.
  • Work hard for one more hour please- then you will get a reward sticker for today.
  • Work hard for the whole day – as in the end of the day, you will be surprised by some sweets (of your choice).
  • Work hard for two hours only- then you can watch your favorite movie/video.

 Basically, there could be anything from your kid’s favorite world of choices to offer to motivate them. They will get motivated and willingly perform the hard work each day. After passing a few months or weeks, they will no longer be interested in the old motives; rather would need a new list of motives to make them energetic again. And the cycle of motivation will continue until they would understand the meaning of working hard in the real sense. And as each child is unique and capable of doing a lot with the great power of motivation, enthusiasm and creative abilities; one should seek for various incentives for each child to work in the unconscious according to her age group and as per her own need at that particular time frame.

Thanks

1

Thanks For Your Feedback-I Am Greatly Honored

This word is usually used in researches where we are more interested in taking feedback from our participants. Some researchers use the feedback as an integral part of their whole work and keep it as original as it could be. Then, in today’s modern world, many online businesses need their customers’ feedback to improve their products and to progress in the right direction. Rather, it has become an integral part of each business online, so much so, many businesses flourish successfully only due to a continuous positive high, and consistent feedback from customers like eBay, Amazon and many others.

To see the definition of feedback please check the link below:

http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/feedback.html

It states that “the process in which the effect or output of an action is returned (fed-back) to modify the next action. Feedback is essential to the working and survival of all regulatory mechanisms found throughout living and non-living nature, and in man-made systems such as education system and economy. As a two-way flow, feedback is inherent to all interactions, whether human-to-human, human-to-machine or machine-to-machine.”

When we use the feedback in an educational setup we usually call it reinforcement (positive and negative) that strengthens the behavior of students and modify the behavioral constructs. For example: Good grades, medals, stars, label, honorary remarks, titles and sometimes monetary benefits such as gifts, scholarships and free memberships. All are being used as a kind of reinforcer to encourage the students to learn more in the most productive manner and continue with the learning process.

However, my focus is on our emotional life which lacks feedback seriously, and keeps us from growing in rich relationships. We ask for help, get help and say thank- nothing more. We discuss ideas and concepts with friends and colleagues, get a relevant one to apply for, get the desired results and never return to those friends to say what they have said has physically been implemented by you. We go to see someone or invite someone, meet passionately and enjoy the company a lot, say, ‘see you soon’, and never call back to say how we felt in the last few days! We usually forget about the most important part of the relationship-Feedback.

Realistically, it could be anything from a simple, ‘thanks’, ‘gesture’, ‘expression’  to a nice compliment. However, in the long lasting relationships (intimate partners, parent-child, siblings, relatives, friends), it should be more than that. Consider the following statements:

What you did to me was awesome indeed………..

  1. I found the gift a superb one that could fulfill……
  2. I tried your idea and it helped me a lot in completing……
  3. Last night your dress was too elegant and graceful to make me…
  4. I am still thinking about the way you were doing that….
  5. How did you do that? It was fantastic and unbelievable…

Conclusively, usually we say ‘thanks’ for most of the time yet forget the afterward feedback required that is an additional ‘thanks’ in the form of a nice compliment after utilizing someone’s gift, idea, or after any shared delightful charitable experience. On the contrary, when we are reminded about our mindful gifts, thoughtful ideas, concerned suggestions, great company, sweet nature, nice habits, creativity, intelligence, beauty, simplicity, trustworthiness, spontaneity, and other relevant traits; we are much pleased for such a recognition and great concern. So keep it up please!

Perfect Cry

Crying means a lot: biologically it is a part of our bodily needs-shedding tears are good for our health once in a blue moon. Men and women both cry sometimes in their life. Crying in children is very common thing as we all are aware of the fact. Little babies cry even before they start talking or could convey their emotions through words. Crying is the very basic human instinct- we do not need to think about it, we just cry when we need it.

Crying is helpful if we cry at the right time. Suppose we want to save someone’s or our life and we cry at the right time. Suppose we are in trouble and cry with pain to release the pressure and feel better. Suppose you cry before your exams for the fear of failure, trial, inquiry, a judgment or before facing some challenging situation in life. You can also cry for the marks, favors, benefits, or whatever you desire in life.

We all know the importance of happiness in life, yet rarely think about the benefits of crying. You know you cry because you have to be happy after that. We are lucky to feel a little low to regain the energy and spirit in life. This is the cycle of life: each night brings back the day, sorrow brings a new joy, and each death is replaced by a new spirit. Although the mathematics is according to the set rules and formulas, yet the mystery is not revealed.

Nevertheless, your cry is the special element in the process of healing, cognitive therapies, counseling, and even in self-help procedures. When you feel sorry, guilty, or torn apart, you are more worried about your troubles than required. Your psychologist would let you decide what to do in this case. You do not need to cry this much! Your cry should elevate your spirits, collect your low energies and make you strong enough to take a step ahead for your survival and existence in the manner it should be; therefore you must motivate yourself to cry more to take a step towards success and happiness. Your cry would save the world from destruction, abuse and hate; if it is for the great cause of peace, humanity and happiness. Cry it self would declare you as a human, with a caring heart and kind soul.

A Word To MY Fellow Bloggers

Today I was wondering why my blogs are not getting attention after doing so many things and after having thought on topics of my interest for such a long time. I was having a mad mood throughout the day  while feeling same lack. I was wondering why my blogs are not worth reading by the viewers. Then I kept on thinking on the same lines and thought my books are not getting attention. No one has ever checked them. I had a stomach ache all the way coming to home from the market. No argument could convince me for my bad luck and hopelessness.

I was nearly fainting when a sudden thought came to my mind, and I would like to share it with you so that you could also get some spirit at your low times, the feelings were like that:

Mona, you know the best ever knowledge in this world is the least expensive, even then people are not ready to get it in their spare time. You can find all religious books online for free to read or download like the Bible, Quran, and many others. You know the best ever content is there and people are not bothered much to read it for themselves. Then how can they become motivated to read you whereas you have just stepped in, in the blog market.

Mona, in todays modern world, people are more interested to buy dreams, unreal, and fiction stories than non-fiction and hard cruel realities. People would like to waste money on non-sense fashion, movies and glamorous shows as compared to reading free library books while sitting in the library or at home. People would most likely convince themselves to buy products to comfort their bodies than buying some books to ease their souls. People are more interested to go on Facebook to make new friends and have a chit chat than reading blogs – especially yours.

Mona, you need to be patient and consistent if you really want to have viewers daily. It does not mean that you are not worth blogging, it means you need to bring some changes in your attitude and schedule to make your blog a real show. It does not mean you only take care of the choice of your viewers rather it means you present your views in the most acceptable and challenging way. Your style should be unique and convincing otherwise you will lose all!

What do you think, is it a good advice that I should consider? If you have another suggestion for me, please let me know. I would be highly grateful to you as this is my beginning and I have to improve all the time continuously and persistently.

Thanks

To Learn – Basic Human Need   

We as human beings are designed to live with food, shelter, love, emotions, health, relationships, and many other things common for all of us in all over the world. Our instincts, attitudes, behaviors, aptitudes and personalities are totally understood the world over. We recognize the meanings of universal realities, international human rights, the definition of love, happiness and humanity as a whole in all over the world.

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