counselling

The Person-Centered Background Effect

The person-centred approach is a widespread practice nowadays. It says that we should trust in our self-perception and we can determine our well-being through a proper understanding of our situation and needs. It means that there is no need to value unconscious motives and meanings derived from other sources by counsellors. Proposed by Roges (1959), it says that we are capable of organizing our beliefs, concepts, and self-perceptions. Our self-concept is central to our perceptions about others and the world. The self-concept might be different from the reality of what we are in reality. We might think that we are strong; however, in fact, we could be assessed as shy and feeble personality.
I am entirely in favour of such thoughts. We know what we are and we can very quickly be guided in that light. However, when we are in trouble, our unconscious mind dictates to us what we don’t want to listen in reality. Suppose you are going to save someone’s life and your belief tells you that it might put you in trouble. Or the reverse case, you want to do something refreshing and funny; however, your mind says you to do something generous and moral. What we do, choose, figure out, decide to do, or think about all depend upon our unconscious thought that is present in all times and that is subject to change. We do not pay attention to that thought and react as we think we are doing.
For example, we are going shopping with a great mindset. It is straightforward to guess; we will have excellent shopping experience following that. Another side, with sad and muggy mood, we will make many mistakes in shopping or will not enjoy that experience thoroughly.

Our most of the problems are based on our perception of the situation. We do not understand what is wrong with us. We blame others for our miseries and issues; however, it is not right for most of the time. When psychologist uncover our background information at that particular time ( the time of misery ), the real cause for our pain comes out of the shadow. We feel great relief at that moment. So the hidden unconscious information/perception of the situation is the most important thing to discover.
For example, a person is very much lonely due to his family members behaviour. He thinks he is being ignored and not given much importance. Here, the belief ‘the importance given by family ‘ is fundamental to be discovered. In other situations, other ideas might work as a background. Those beliefs play an essential role in our decision making, role-playing, acting and reacting and even thinking.
Thanks TH

Problems Based on Realistic, Imaginary or Conceptual Solutions

There are countless kinds of psychological disorders-some are already discovered and some are still in disguise. We, being a human, are destined to face emotional ups and downs-there is nothing wrong with it. However, we, the psychologists, name our emotional episodes when they are more prominent to other emotions and become a hindrance in performing day to day life activities. We, seek for the therapist or psychologist to get a quick relief-without knowing the nature of our problem. Though psychologists are well trained and insightful, yet they are unable to find out our repressed thoughts and related experiences. Therefore, they would guess about the real nature of our problems   instead of seeking the true diagnosis!

So first you need to tell the doctor( (psychologist) what are you feeling? What are your worries and what you want to get out of prescription? When you tell the symptoms of your disease; the doctor tries to assess it too, and confirms your disease to prescribe a set of medicines and recommendations. In the same manner, you need to tell the psychologist the real symptoms of your disease(disorder) based on what the therapist would assist you with the counseling procedure. However, in the world of psychology, neither you could convey the right feelings inside you nor your therapist could judge finally what is the trouble through scientific analysis ( like blood tests and x-rays in medical science). This is the dilemma of the psychotherapies and a clear reason for being not so popular in the modern world.

Honestly think about your worries, distortions, and perceptual ambiguities and then decide if they need :

  1. realistic practical solutions
  2. imaginary refined mind-set
  3. new behavioral changes
  4. new conceptual understanding
  5. physical health along with psychological well-being
  6. clarity of thought, concepts or beliefs

For the practical problems, you do not need a psychologist- rather a lawyer, doctor, social worker or a helping hand.

Then ask yourself, are you in trouble due to your own things or things related to other fellows? Things which involve other fellow beings need others too, to participate in the session with you.

When you are aware of the nature of your problem, you go to the right person and save your time and energy. It is the basics you must know before going to any therapist or counselor. Wish you good luck and be happy!

Perfect Cry

Crying means a lot: biologically it is a part of our bodily needs-shedding tears are good for our health once in a blue moon. Men and women both cry sometimes in their life. Crying in children is very common thing as we all are aware of the fact. Little babies cry even before they start talking or could convey their emotions through words. Crying is the very basic human instinct- we do not need to think about it, we just cry when we need it.

Crying is helpful if we cry at the right time. Suppose we want to save someone’s or our life and we cry at the right time. Suppose we are in trouble and cry with pain to release the pressure and feel better. Suppose you cry before your exams for the fear of failure, trial, inquiry, a judgment or before facing some challenging situation in life. You can also cry for the marks, favors, benefits, or whatever you desire in life.

We all know the importance of happiness in life, yet rarely think about the benefits of crying. You know you cry because you have to be happy after that. We are lucky to feel a little low to regain the energy and spirit in life. This is the cycle of life: each night brings back the day, sorrow brings a new joy, and each death is replaced by a new spirit. Although the mathematics is according to the set rules and formulas, yet the mystery is not revealed.

Nevertheless, your cry is the special element in the process of healing, cognitive therapies, counseling, and even in self-help procedures. When you feel sorry, guilty, or torn apart, you are more worried about your troubles than required. Your psychologist would let you decide what to do in this case. You do not need to cry this much! Your cry should elevate your spirits, collect your low energies and make you strong enough to take a step ahead for your survival and existence in the manner it should be; therefore you must motivate yourself to cry more to take a step towards success and happiness. Your cry would save the world from destruction, abuse and hate; if it is for the great cause of peace, humanity and happiness. Cry it self would declare you as a human, with a caring heart and kind soul.