Have you ever got a cold? Certainly, many times! You feel headache, fever, tiredness, strain, drowsy, and aches. You tell the doctor what you are experiencing (the symptoms of your disease) – not the actual discomfort. Many times, we have the same symptoms, but the reason is not cold and flue. We are diagnosed with another disease – might be tonsils, earache, stomach acidity, allergic reaction, mouth cancer, tooth ache or sinus disease.
Have you seen toddlers crying and irritating for obviously no reason you could guess. Sometimes they are hungry or wet or bore or tired, other times they might be ill, suffering from some physical discomfort or emotional upheaval. They do not say what they feel, but cry and show aggression through their rude and unnatural behavior.
Have you ever seen yourself in happy moods: doing things cheerfully, speaking politely, behaving nicely, walking and dancing, meeting people pleasantly, looking at nature gratefully, feeling refreshed, cool and compose, compared to when you are in a bad mood. You do not tell people around you why you are behaving in a particular manner, rather you present your best due to reason inside your subconscious.
People, especially boys hide their feelings. Many do not express them in black and white rather make excuses, tell the alternative reasons for their actions, smile, but don’t say why they are happy, look low in mood but would never let others clue to guess what is wrong. They do not do it for any special reason or cause; their brains are wired to do that.
This disguised emotional tendency is somewhat different from one’s personal attitude towards being hypocrites and diplomatic. It is not what we do intend to achieve our set goals and cheap benefits. Rather, we do it almost unintentionally and unconsciously. Ideally, how can we, first analyze our emotions theoretically and then express them in relevant words! That is why we conceal our true emotional tendencies, perceptions and sentiments and deal with only their side-effects, symptoms and after-facts. Therefore, people around us to form their opinions based on what they observe, listen or feel. They are not aware of our true intentions behind our sentiments, deeds, attitudes, and words as well.
Let me introduce some of the statements and their derived meanings, compared with the actual meaning of the subject. The first part of the sentence is the statement delivered, the in bracket sentence is the inner feelings, and the last sentence is the derived meanings by the listener.
a. I am going to get some fresh air (I am very depressed and in need of some time alone with me) – He is going to have a secret meeting, not a walk.
b. I am too tired, so will go to bed soon (I do not want to have sex tonight, as my mind is busy somewhere else) – He must be in some tension as he is not in the mood.
c. I am not very much hungry, will have a cup of tea instead (I am too tense, not feeling like to eat) – he mush have taken food somewhere else.
d. Mama, I want to go out for a wee shopping (at home, mama is not with me, always talks to her friends on the phone) – I suppose my son is used to have shopping with me.
e. I am going to buy some food, so see you next time (I do not want to talk more with this lady) – she is too busy with home affairs.
f. I think being alone is a blessing for one ( I mean without wife and children)- I think he does not like to become social and make friends.
In each case, we say something else, perceive something else and convey all together different. Some among us conceal their total feelings with great mastery, some exaggerate to the highest level, some moderately depict, and some just cannot feel comfortable in revealing their inner to the lowest level. We do not do it by choice, rather by habit. We are trained to behave like that. We are educated and expected to talk in that manner in a specific culture. We just cannot leave our tendency to do that.
For example, on the arrival of a headache, some would say, no problem, it is part of life; some would yell and say, what the hell I am in; some would become furious and would go for a drink; some would make others aware of the fact that they are facing a headache attack for such a long time; some would just continue with their duties and forget the same level of headache indeed. Take another example. Some reach in time (exactly on time); some reach in time (a few minutes before right time); some reach in time (a couple of minutes after exact time) and some reach in time (though usually they are late). So again, we perceive different meanings within the same statement. Thus, it is very much subjective to express one’s emotions and to what degree of intensity.