Do we express as per our true perceptions?

Have you ever got a cold? Certainly, many times! You feel headache, fever, tiredness, strain, drowsy, and aches. You tell the doctor what you are experiencing (the symptoms of your disease) – not the actual discomfort. Many times, we have the same symptoms, but the reason is not cold and flue. We are diagnosed with another disease – might be tonsils, earache, stomach acidity, allergic reaction, mouth cancer, tooth ache or sinus disease.

Have you seen toddlers crying and irritating for obviously no reason you could guess. Sometimes they are hungry or wet or bore or tired, other times they might be ill, suffering from some physical discomfort or emotional upheaval. They do not say what they feel, but cry and show aggression through their rude and unnatural behavior.

Have you ever seen yourself in happy moods: doing things cheerfully, speaking politely, behaving nicely, walking and dancing, meeting people pleasantly, looking at nature gratefully, feeling refreshed, cool and compose, compared to when you are in a bad mood. You do not tell people around you why you are behaving in a particular manner, rather you present your best due to reason inside your subconscious.

People, especially boys hide their feelings. Many do not express them in black and white rather make excuses, tell the alternative reasons for their actions, smile, but don’t say why they are happy, look low in mood but would never let others clue to guess what is wrong. They do not do it for any special reason or cause; their brains are wired to do that.

This disguised emotional tendency is somewhat different from one’s personal attitude towards being hypocrites and diplomatic. It is not what we do intend to achieve our set goals and cheap benefits. Rather, we do it almost unintentionally and unconsciously. Ideally, how can we, first analyze our emotions theoretically and then express them in relevant words! That is why we conceal our true emotional tendencies, perceptions and sentiments and deal with only their side-effects, symptoms and after-facts. Therefore, people around us to form their opinions based on what they observe, listen or feel. They are not aware of our true intentions behind our sentiments, deeds, attitudes, and words as well.

Let me introduce some of the statements and their derived meanings, compared with the actual meaning of the subject. The first part of the sentence is the statement delivered, the in bracket sentence is the inner feelings, and the last sentence is the derived meanings by the listener.

a. I am going to get some fresh air (I am very depressed and in need of some time alone with me) – He is going to have a secret meeting, not a walk.
b. I am too tired, so will go to bed soon (I do not want to have sex tonight, as my mind is busy somewhere else) – He must be in some tension as he is not in the mood.
c. I am not very much hungry, will have a cup of tea instead (I am too tense, not feeling like to eat) – he mush have taken food somewhere else.
d. Mama, I want to go out for a wee shopping (at home, mama is not with me, always talks to her friends on the phone) – I suppose my son is used to have shopping with me.
e. I am going to buy some food, so see you next time (I do not want to talk more with this lady) – she is too busy with home affairs.

f. I think being alone is a blessing for one ( I mean without wife and children)-  I think he does not like to become social and make friends.

In each case, we say something else, perceive something else and convey all together different. Some among us conceal their total feelings with great mastery, some exaggerate to the highest level, some moderately depict, and some just cannot feel comfortable in revealing their inner to the lowest level. We do not do it by choice, rather by habit. We are trained to behave like that. We are educated and expected to talk in that manner in a specific culture. We just cannot leave our tendency to do that.

For example, on the arrival of a headache, some would say, no problem, it is part of life; some would yell and say, what the hell I am in; some would become furious and would go for a drink; some would make others aware of the fact that they are facing a headache attack for such a long time; some would just continue with their duties and forget the same level of headache indeed. Take another example. Some reach in time (exactly on time); some reach in time (a few minutes before right time); some reach in time (a couple of minutes after exact time) and some reach in time (though usually they are late). So again, we perceive different meanings within the same statement. Thus, it is very much subjective to express one’s emotions and to what degree of intensity.

Your Preference In A Particular Time Will Decide About Your True Love

We live with someone we have to share many things from food to bed. In couples, usually arguments arise due to having a contradictory point of view about one object. Do you want to know what is the real truth about your partner with respect to love, sex and intimacy? Are you aware of your partner’s true nature? Have you ever experienced your partner reacted differently somewhere beyond your expectations? If yes, then it is a case of contradictory preferences. Consider the following statements for a while:

• In normal circumstances, I would love to take you, but today I am more interested to go to university to see my friend.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to go to university to see my friend, but today I want to see my favorite movie last show in the cinema.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to go to the cinema to see that movie, but today I will have to arrange a job for my best friend.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to arrange a job for my best friend, but today my commitment with my son is more important.

• In normal circumstances, I would take my son to the park, but today I have to go for shopping first.

• In normal circumstances, I would go for the shopping first, but today I have to write a blog on my website.

• In normal circumstances, I would write a blog on my website, but today I am having a dinner outside.

In the above example, in each event, the preference is changed. The most preferred thing is our true nature that we just cannot postpone at any cost. We can also check our partner’s preferences in different circumstances and finally evaluate which is his/her true preference.
We, for most of the time, think we know ourselves better, but it is not true. Whenever we have better options, we go for that. Whenever we have ailments and troubles, we leave our present state of preferences and think that health is our first priority. So we always compare our likes and dislikes with respect to their value that we assign. In other words, we would change our preferences if we have more alternatives. Therefore, preferences themselves are nothing; they should always be considered with respect to alternatives. For example: you have two choices available to choose from: red color or black color. You are bound to prefer one; otherwise your choice would have been different.
Some would argue in this regard that their preferences never change. In reality their likes and dislikes never change. Our behavior in terms of our actions is always based on our preferences. What we choose, we go for it, and that is our priority, likeness and selection at that time. Our preferences reflect our true nature. Others preferences reflect their true nature. Your preferences reflect your true nature. Yes, the preferences keep on changing, but they describe what you are – not you.
You cannot separate your preferences from time boundaries as well. Alternatives change with the time –so too preferences. Today you prefer Honda car and tomorrow you will be going to Toyota. Today you are having HP laptop and tomorrow you would prefer Toshiba. Thus, your preferences are strictly associated with the alternatives available at some specific time. Analyze them fully and your partner’s to some extent and cool down. Your half of the problems must be resolved at this point. The rest ones should not take long if they are based on preferential contradictions.
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