therapy

Do You Feel Compelled To Do That?

What if you feel compelled to do something you don’t like?

What if you are bound to act in a certain way- you don’t want to?

What if you feel like to stop but can’t do it due to your circumstances?

What if you are not free to wear what you like to?

What if you can’t eat what you want to?

What if you can’t enjoy something you passionately want to?

There are countless things like the above that create depressive symptoms among us when we simply do not want to do that and we have to do that due to our so called limitations and circumstances. In such cases, psychologists have no option except to change your belief system. They would try to motivate you to see other angles of the problem rather than that you do not want to. However, it is not as simple as it seems- it deserves a hard work on your part to recreate a new building on the old remnants.

Suppose your spouse or boss likes you to wear red color in the party and you do not feel confident in doing so. Your perception of red color is not so good. You think it will look odd, funny and hot! You think this is not a better choice in any case. Your image would be spoiled among the public if you try it. So whatever is the reason; you are not willing to wear it to feel good, confident and attractive in the party. Now you have the following options to follow:

1.   Wear the red color as dictated by your boss and feel ashamed all the time.

2.   Do not wear the red color at all and make the boss angry.

3.    Wear something like half red and half blue or any other combination

4.    Wear red with confidence, pride, and pleasant feelings.

Suppose you choose option no 1.

It will make you vulnerable to depression, anxiety and stress symptoms afterwards.

Suppose you choose option no 2.

It will make your boss angry and you might get a challenging situation ahead. However, this option will make you strong, energetic and persistent in your choice and help you in dealing with similar situations in future.

Suppose you choose option no 3.

It will neither satisfy you nor your boss fully. However, there are chances that you too will pass the required time with great patience and will not disturb each other. However, this choice is the middle way that most of us adopt to lead our lives with caution and intellect.

Suppose you choose option no 4.

For the last and fourth choice, you must acknowledge the fact that your perception is wrong and you have to change it to see the desired results; otherwise you will have to make a compromise (that you do not want at all).

Now to change the perception of the red color is in itself a great deal. You have to remind yourself about the new, positive, and great impressions of the red color. For example:

1. Red is a color of life

2.Red is a color of luck in many countries of the world like china.

3.Red is a color of passion and love in psychology

4. Red is a color of energy and passion

If you are convinced about the new meanings of the color red; you will be the first person to choose red at first choice given to you. It will change your mindset, perception, and belief about the red color forever.

This technique is not limited to only ‘red-color’ ; rather it includes almost all the belief-based mental structures that provide great hindrances in our way towards the progress in work and psychological well being overall.

However, some beliefs or concepts, particularly those, based on religious teachings and cultural settings are too rigid to replace with other beliefs. And in most of the cases, we personally do not want to change them at any cost. In that case, it is more advisable to leave the situation that puts you in trouble of guilt and misery. We can fight with all kinds of troubles, hardships and mind-sets except a totally contradictory and challenging perceptual world.

Thanks

Mind Your Beliefs

Tensions and worries are of dissimilar varieties. Some are based on relationships, some are financial and others are conceptual. We live in a variety of cultures, thus experiences are too complex and ambiguous at a large level. Notwithstanding, our many of the troubles could be solved through a simple cognitive therapy or a therapy of belief change. When you meet with any such thing; believe me, it could be solved with a thrust button. Let me give you some more examples:

 People call me……………… and I simply do not like this word.

  1. I like to have some………..Instead of doing something about this………………..
  2. This confinement is too much, I am not ready to have it………
  3. Why he said this word…………… to me
  4. I do not like my subject……………. And prefer……………
  5. I behave not wish this color………… would like to exchange it for this color…………
  6. I suppose I should not do this in…………. Way
  7. I do not like this chore………..I would do instead…………. Chore

Belief can be replaced by another belief-similar in nature, with similar argument and convincing thought. When your anxiety provoking belief is creating a substantial injury in your emotional life; you need to replace it. This is a little tricky process, merely after holding it fixed you will be out of trouble forever.

When you suppose you prefer this to that and what you prefer is not within your reach, you necessitate to alter your mindset or feeling. As there is no other way left to deal with such a problem. Normally you are not ready to leave your principle, belief, concept or prospect; as that is your identity, passion and ego. Realistically, you have to deal with it: either work to attain what you want or leave it forever with a convincing idea. For the second strategy, you demand to convince yourself that your opinion is wrong indeed.

To convince yourself that your opinion is faulty or ineffective; you have to struggle with finding another comparative belief with the power to supersede the senior one. It should be more convincing in terms of impact and more overpowering in terms of settling in the brain. Allow me to present you some lessons of genuine change:

When my son is crazy for one specific toy, I try to shift his attention by replacing the belief with some other similar but cheap options. If he is asking for a car (expensive one); I will show him another car (not expensive) but with some distinguish feature. I will not show him the cat, hen, or plane to change his concept.

You do not like something for some special reason in your mind; that specific thing can also be adored for some exceptional reason (you do not know by chance). Try to find that special thing that could convince you to change your mindset. When you do not like someone for some reason; you could like him/her too for another reason (if you try to find that).

To conclude, we need to convince ourselves positively that we are blessed in the best possible way. We can see many reasons for being happy and satisfied instead of feeling regret or resented. The things we do not like, can become our passion and people we do not want to face, can become our best allies. Though it requires a hard work from our side from going through a long and persistent process of seeking, researching and establishing new relevant concepts, to replacing them with the previous ones instantly.  Have you ever tried that? No, do it with me any time.