beliefs

Self-Esteem Paradox

Self –Esteem is nowadays a common truth that everyone knows to some extent. We know when we feel low in esteem and when we feel high self esteem. We cannot say for sure, whether our self-esteem is real or fake, but we know that we are confronted with self-esteem issues and nothing else. You may find thousand techniques on how to gain self esteem truly and how to increase it day by day. You may find literature on how to maintain a healthy level of self esteem and become a successful human being as a result. In most of the cases, information is trustworthy and you can get benefit from such resources.

Here I am talking about the precaution not the solution of self-esteem related disorders. What do you think if we stop it from the beginning or try not to encounter with it throughout our life span. What if a child is given an immunization to prevent him/her from self-esteem problems in the future just like medical immunization systems? Can we provide our children a strong base to tackle with all kinds of self-esteem issues that might cause any severe disorder in their young or adult life? Self-esteem is visibly low in almost all psychological and personality disorders, so this prevention will benefit our next generation a lot.

The next question in this regard is how to prevent our nation from self-esteem problems? The answer is simple: we have to give them injections of low self esteem. We have to tell our children exactly what they will do, feel or observe when they face low self-esteem in their daily life. They need to understand all kinds of low self esteem and their severe consequences. Not only this, rather we need to give our children fake experiences of low self esteem and tell them how to get rid of it. These activities will train them for higher-level issues and they will not lose control when they find a real life threat to their self-esteem. In simple words, we have to educate them all basics of self-esteem and guide them through practical examples on how can they resist severe attacks of low self-esteem.

Self esteem is not limited to one field of life rather covers all areas of life and that is why it is very difficult to assess it as a whole and provide prevention skills. To tackle with its complexity, we need to assess our children from time to time and diagnose which type of information is vital for whom. Then, the best possible training might be provided to the students for the success of their future endeavors in general.

Safety tips for health, education, business, marketing, cooking, gardening and writing, save most of us in our daily life. We are accustomed to read them to get general information and to prevent us from commonsense mistakes. However, for psychological problems, we rarely look for others psyche and bother to improve ours. This is the main reason why we face troubles and usually it is too late to cure. We think we are the only one who is having this type of problem. Such thinking makes us more vulnerable towards helplessness and anxiety. Therefore, it is recommended to include self-esteem tips hand outs in all types of syllabi to prevent students from possible side effects of low self-esteem.

If I say that self-esteem is a contagious disease, it will not be very wrong. When we sit beside someone with low self-esteem, his/her ways of thinking affect ours in a systematic way. In addition, the same is true for us. As a result, we gain a new level of self-esteem (low or high) and unconsciously keep on delivering ours and absorbing others self-esteem from time to time. For this reason, we have to decide what are the golden rules that can prevent us from getting infected from others with low self-esteem. We need to establish a formula or pattern of beliefs that must be able to deal with such issues in advance.

Parent’s self-esteem is a great source of energy for their kids. By contrast, when parents suffer from low self-esteem, children’s self-esteem directly or indirectly is very much affected. To solve this problem, parenting classes to boost high level of self-esteem among their children are already getting inspiration in some of the areas of advanced world. Here the information that parents’ own level of self-esteem need to be raised to raise their children’s self-esteem is very vital. Educationists must have sessions with their pupils’ parents to see if the child’s low self-esteem has any connection with parents’ self esteem!

To conclude, self-esteem is very complex and common human trait and plays as a backbone in each psychological disorder. We can serve our children by utilizing our knowledge to give them proper training to deal with the self-esteem dilemmas. At the same time, we can equip them with a handful amount of tips to remain safe in the environment where low self-esteem threats are everywhere.

Thanks

 

 

Think Before!

When we go to the market to buy some electric item, we consider all the specifications in detail and compare their quality with their price. For example, in the shopping of computer, we consider hard drive capacity, screen size, RAM, processor type, etc. We take it as a whole and compare several times with other categories of the product.In short, we try to satisfy ourselves from every aspect and then decide about the purchase. The people who do not care much, usually ends up in frustration and cry over spilt milk. The lesson of the story is that we need to do all kinds of necessary homework if we want to be satisfied with our purchases and expenditures.

My focus is not about marketing attitudes rather the attitudes that we use to establish new relationships. How much we think before making a person a friend? How much we think about someone before making him/her a soul mate or roommate? How much we think before making someone a close friend? How much we think before becoming a parent? How much we think before we go for a marriage, especially in eastern cultures? How much we think before we take any step in life regarding the profession, education or immigration. How much we think before any break-up? If you think that you are very much vigilant and smart in such matters, then this article is not for you.

If you believe and you have already experienced a lot of drastic decisions that make you realize that you were in a hurry or you had to spend much time on pros and cons of your decisions then you need a proper training. Training to understand the fact that you need to think before.

What kind of thoughts may help you in this regard? Basically, we are in a hurry and decide emotionally about our emotional relationships as a human. We can answer such questions after having a little research work such as:

a. The person belongs to what kind of family
i. Honest
ii. Dishonest
iii. Rich
iv. Poor
v. Strong
vi. Weak
vii. Famous
viii. Stranger

b. The person’s past involves what kind of relationships
i. True
ii. Cheater
iii. Rich
iv. Temporary
v. Long
vi. Consistent

c. The person’s habits include what types
i. Harmful
ii. Healthy
iii. Mature
iv. Immature
v. Regular
vi. Irregular

d. The person’s friends speak about him/her in what tone
i. Fair
ii. Friendly
iii. Loving
iv. Reserve
v. Selfish

e. The persons living area is of what type
i. Neat
ii. Dirty
iii. Tidy
iv. Simple
v. Strange

f. The person’s beliefs are of what type
i. Religious
1. Name of the religion
2. Name of specific beliefs
3. Activities to practice
ii. Non religious
1. Beliefs in specific terms
2. Practices in specific terms

g. The persons limits are about what kind
i. In financial matters
ii. In domestic life
iii. In professional life

h. The persons negative and positive attributes
i. With family members
ii. With neighbors
iii. With personal relationships

i. The person’s spending habits
i. With friends
ii. With relatives
iii. With strangers

j. The person’s moral and social habits.
i. In general, as a whole
ii. In family
iii. With friends

There could be several sub categories to discuss further in this regard. It is all worth thinking ahead, otherwise you might be suffering from bad consequences to severe traumas due to your emotional and instant decisions about having a relationship in your life.
Thanks

Morality From Culture To Culture

When I search for humanity in literature, it usually comes with broad perspectives about the products like truth, honesty, empathy, selflessness, sincerity, and all other things related to these. Although these are not wrong perceptions about humanity, but we need a clear and concise concept about each of it in this complex era. For example, for truth, it must be clear what to say in a particular circumstance, whom to say truth, how to deliver it, when to deliver it and other related precise details. Sometimes, one single truth may take a  person’s life and alternatively that truth may also save someone’s life. The same is true with other phenomena. We are for many times not sure about the reality of our morality or we are not trained in that sense that is why we miss many expressions of it.

We simply apply the morality, what we think morality is. In some cultures, respect is something related to standing up in front of others (like in Pakistan) while in others respect is something related to doing what is required (like in China). Similarly, in some cultures, asking for help is not respectable (in some parts of India) while in others it is the most convenient way to live (in UK). Nevertheless, in some places, one should take care of others’ likes and dislikes with the exchange of highly valuable gifts (like in Pakistan) while in others one must give someone (as a gift) what he /she likes for him/her self (sender)  plus it could be anything from a feather to a house (like Arab countries). There are a thousand examples to quote in this regard that prove that we address morality according to our own cultural, religious and personal needs.

Similarly, there are certain things in one culture that are thought as normal while in others are simply rude. For example, in one culture guests may be refused politely if you are busy (like in the UK), while in another one, guests simply cannot be refused or we will become rude. Like in Pakistan and India, guest cannot be refused at any time, for any cause. It is not polite to refuse them. Likewise, in some cultures, one must not enter others personal space while in others this is being proud, antisocial, and unfriendly. When we compare the rights and duties of women and men in different cultures of the world, we will find huge differences of different kinds. In short, whatever is your culture, you will feel that way and judge others accordingly.

When we define our morality according to our needs, we must respect others moral values as they are too according to their needs. However, there is a very delicate line between what is a cultural thing and a criminal thing. For example, in one culture, marriages are more about businesses whereas in others a marriage is a sacred entity and is more about religion. In some cultures, women are not treated equally like men and they need to know more about morality than men. In such cultures, girls have no right to ask about their status or should not expect the same status like boys. Their moral values vary for each section of the society and morality means total slavery of the poor class to the rich class/bosses/owners. From these examples, one must think what kind of cultures are these? Are they carrying up some values or criminal acts in the name of cultural beauties?

Thus, to take care of someone’s culture when you know it is not worth taking care, is more about harming him/her than benefiting. Whenever we encounter something dangerous, alarming, negative, in the name of morality, we must not obey, irrespective of its origin or root cause. We must obey the moral rules that are in the interest of humanity overall. If there is any rule that is neither harming anyone nor benefiting, then it is up to us to follow it or not to follow. We, being the best judge, can set a moral guideline for us and others that proves best or we can choose to adapt (already set world criteria of being human) otherwise.