Love and Belongings

The Best Gift Parents Give To Their Children

Parents are responsible for their children’s well being overall. It includes healthy food, good education, a safe place to live, a sense of unconditional love, and a sense of greater self-esteem. Parents at their level best try to fulfill all. They not only give formal education to their offspring rather informal moral education go side-by-side. Vigilant parents provide their children not only a clean, safe place to live rather a sense of surety within. Empathetic parents understand the importance of unconditional love towards their children and at the same time impose some limits to stop their children from being aggressive, disobedient and rude. Parents are well informed about their children’s level of self-esteem in schools and their work together with teachers to improve it their better future and a successful life ahead.
Though the responsibilities of the parents never end, what they do not understand in this regard is their responsibility to give their children indirect education, love, safety and self-esteem that will create long lasting effects. How can parents fulfill such a need:
By loving each other in front of their children
By taking care of each other in front of their children
By respecting each other in their children’s presence
By tolerating each other in their child’s presence.
By showing empathy to each other when children are around
By behaving nicely when children are around
Thus, their children will imitate their role models and learn a lot. When parents do something else and say something else, children cannot follow any of these. They b

 

ecome confused and do what they like based on their own immature calculation. Not only this, we, as parents, need not to pretend that we are loving, nice or caring – we need to be real, honest and pure with ourselves to convey our messages to our children in reality.
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The Universal Parental Religion 

There are many cultures in this world and all are aware of the name, ‘cultural differences’. We think we belong to a different region so our likes and dislikes are different. We feel we behave similarly while living in the same group and follow the same religious teachings that each one of us living around us belong to. For example, being a Muslim, we think all Muslims are alike because they share the same religion. Being a Christian, we think all Christians behave in a certain way. Usually people living in one group for a long time, share many things together – they follow the same teachings, cultural aspects, traditions, customs and other trivial ways of life.

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Learn From Babies 

Have you ever seen a baby? She is so cute with her tiny feet, pure smile, loving gestures and incredible affection. Have you ever realized that your child could not walk properly, could not speak fluently, could not fulfill any task given to her and could not even take food with care ( without having any mess) yet she could give a smile, could perceive your love, anger, sadness, excitement and other emotions. Have you ever realized that in spite of being too weak and too dependent, your baby is fully equipped with the strongest emotion-love.

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Your Preference In A Particular Time Will Decide About Your True Love

We live with someone we have to share many things from food to bed. In couples, usually arguments arise due to having a contradictory point of view about one object. Do you want to know what is the real truth about your partner with respect to love, sex and intimacy? Are you aware of your partner’s true nature? Have you ever experienced your partner reacted differently somewhere beyond your expectations? If yes, then it is a case of contradictory preferences. Consider the following statements for a while:

• In normal circumstances, I would love to take you, but today I am more interested to go to university to see my friend.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to go to university to see my friend, but today I want to see my favorite movie last show in the cinema.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to go to the cinema to see that movie, but today I will have to arrange a job for my best friend.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to arrange a job for my best friend, but today my commitment with my son is more important.

• In normal circumstances, I would take my son to the park, but today I have to go for shopping first.

• In normal circumstances, I would go for the shopping first, but today I have to write a blog on my website.

• In normal circumstances, I would write a blog on my website, but today I am having a dinner outside.

In the above example, in each event, the preference is changed. The most preferred thing is our true nature that we just cannot postpone at any cost. We can also check our partner’s preferences in different circumstances and finally evaluate which is his/her true preference.
We, for most of the time, think we know ourselves better, but it is not true. Whenever we have better options, we go for that. Whenever we have ailments and troubles, we leave our present state of preferences and think that health is our first priority. So we always compare our likes and dislikes with respect to their value that we assign. In other words, we would change our preferences if we have more alternatives. Therefore, preferences themselves are nothing; they should always be considered with respect to alternatives. For example: you have two choices available to choose from: red color or black color. You are bound to prefer one; otherwise your choice would have been different.
Some would argue in this regard that their preferences never change. In reality their likes and dislikes never change. Our behavior in terms of our actions is always based on our preferences. What we choose, we go for it, and that is our priority, likeness and selection at that time. Our preferences reflect our true nature. Others preferences reflect their true nature. Your preferences reflect your true nature. Yes, the preferences keep on changing, but they describe what you are – not you.
You cannot separate your preferences from time boundaries as well. Alternatives change with the time –so too preferences. Today you prefer Honda car and tomorrow you will be going to Toyota. Today you are having HP laptop and tomorrow you would prefer Toshiba. Thus, your preferences are strictly associated with the alternatives available at some specific time. Analyze them fully and your partner’s to some extent and cool down. Your half of the problems must be resolved at this point. The rest ones should not take long if they are based on preferential contradictions.
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Human Love Need Not To Be Unconditional 

We all know what unconditional love is and how to apply it in a proper way. We all know parents love for their children must be unconditional, God’s love for his creation is always unconditional, and we know we need to develop unconditional love if we love someone truly. Unconditional means, love someone without any effort to change someone’s behavior, personality, and beliefs- accepting others with all shortcomings, limitations and weaknesses. We all know it very well and expect the same love from others too. Here, I am focusing on the love that needs not to be unconditional or there will not be any love at all. Have you experienced any kind of abuse in your life? If yes, then do you love your abuser? If yes, then you need not to love him anymore. Any kind of torture, abuse, discrimination and violation of human rights must not be appreciated, encouraged, or beloved in any scenario. Of course the abuser, criminal, or discriminator should not be hated as their actions need to be condemned. But what about love? Would we be able to love such personalities? Is it in our hand to love someone who is giving pain to us? Is it in our hand to separate the two things: crime and criminal? Linguistically or theoretically, it is possible to separate the two things, but practically and physically it is hard to distinguish between the two. We cannot love someone who is giving torture, who is an abuser, or who is the violator of basic human rights. Yes, we can forgive him/her and wish him/her a prosperous life and happiness with the awareness of his/her criminality. We can teach him/her on how to leave bad habits and facilitate him/her in the recovery process. We can donate something to him/her and his family for the sake of goodness and humbleness but we cannot be able to love him/her. Should we? Till the time, someone is in the zone of criminality and not guilty on his/her deeds, he or she must not be loved. God himself loves those who care for humanity, who are gentle in nature, and express their gratitude all the time. God is not with abusers, cheaters, thieves, liars, killers, rapists and seducers. Similarly we cannot separate a good deed from a person’s personality. We are impressed by nice behavior, cool conduct, polite attitude, and empathetic minds. We love the people who care for us, who help us out, who share with us and who support us in one way or the other. We just cannot see them without their personality aspects. or can we? People, who simply want others to love them unconditionally, are at fault. Even mothers need to take care of their children’s feelings in everyday life. When they ignore them largely (punish them, shout at them, and panic them) for a long time, love bond between the two will be at risk too. Such as in the cases of abuse (between parents and children) children will not keep on loving their parents unconditionally – the time will come when there will not be any love between the two. Although we all need the love that is basically unconditional from others but at the same time we do not accept others unconditionally. When someone dear to us, go against our nature, does something that annoys us, shows enmity to us, curses us, yells at us, shows disrespect to us, humiliates us, degrades us, makes us vulnerable, or does anything against us that we severely condemn, we all become sick and our love is no more there. At the end, we will not be in love– conditional or unconditional. To give punishment for crimes, to stop someone from being rude, to correct someone by force, or not to help someone in doing fraud, are all kinds of love for humanity. If we understand that to love someone unconditionally does not mean to accept him/her being abusive or torturous, then we can promote unconditional love and claim to have one. Otherwise we will put ourselves in a vicious circle of disappointment, depression, anxiety and frustration. Likewise, we need to understand that someone’s unconditional love for us does not mean he/she accepts our irrational and intolerable behavior. He/she has a right to save his/her life whenever it is in danger irrespective of the love he/she keeps for us. Only by this way, we can maintain a healthy unconditional love for someone. To conclude, love is always there but its quality is likely to improve if someone we love fulfills our expectations and shares many things with us in one way or the other. Love need not to be conditional in any case, but it is likely to fade with time, if we ignore basic human rights, relationship needs and do not concern to others in the time of need. We do not define conditions on our love intentionally as they are in our unconscious mind and we associate our love with them indirectly. When we do not get what we need for a long time from the person we love, we stop loving him/her and the love (unconditional) is simply not there. The same is true for any kind of relationship except God and His Creation. Thanks

Watering Your Seed Of Love Blindly Is Equal To Digging Your Grave

Love is a blessing, a virtue, a diamond, a star, a flower, anything you love, you love. No one can dictate you what you need to love. Love is your personal choice. Your identity your personal trait. You are always right in loving something, someone or any abstract concept. You are the owner of your love. Even in the worst times of life, you cannot stop loving someone you love. Love remains in your heart so it will not affect your day to day life, it will not affect your attitudes, it will not change your behavior, it will not even make you conscious of your feelings of your love. Love is so much more reliable and valid like your prayers – like your heart.

In spite of all of your perfect and precious love, I tell you, you love first and define later. Your love is always biased. Your love is always fair and right. Your love is always good for you. Your love is always adorable and high.

Your love is almost settled in your teen years. You are programmed to love, according to the teachings of your parents, culture, society and education at large. After your teen- age, you only defend your love and find reasons. You love first, then prove why you love. You first decide who is your love and then prove why you love that particular body. First, you choose whom you love and then argue in favor of or against that person.

For example, you love your mother first, then you find particular traits in her and say you love your mother due to such traits. So even you are not aware of your unconscious feelings of love for your mother. Similarly, you love your children first, then argue about your love that is already there. Certainly it will be true for all of your loving attitudes. You will not realize that you do not choose anything due to its qualities, attributes or traits rather you choose something due to your first belief of love for it. When you decide it is good, you go for it and it proves good to you. When you decide it is bad for you, then you convince yourself by arguments that the thing is not worth loving.

In contrast, when you find something new in your life, you again try to reach to the conclusion and resolve it on your first experience with it. You decide once for all what is that: loving or ugly. Whatever you decide, usually you do not go against it later on. This is human nature.

For some special matters, we change our opinions of love after not getting the expected response and if consistently we face unexpected reactions for a long time, then we ultimately are forced to change our opinion about love. Thus we settle down to another conviction and again start defending it by our heart and soul for a fairly long time. Here it is important to note that the more tension between our belief of love and our contrasted experiences is, the worst we would feel. So the beliefs of love are not wrong but when they prove wrong, they hurt us. As beliefs always come first, we should be very careful in progressing them with great heart work. Again the more stronger they are, the more damage they might bring to us.

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