emotions

Unique Diversity Of Perceptions

Figure and ground relationship is very common among gestalt psychologists. It is one of the most popular laws of visual perception which states that figure-ground organization is a type of perceptual grouping that is a vital necessarily for recognizing objects through vision. It is known as identifying a figure from the background ( cited in wikipedia).

Without any background, vision is not complete. Even blank or white background plays its vital role in our perceptual understanding of the objects.

figure and ground image

see more on:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figure%E2%80%93ground_(perception)

What do you think this picture is about:

  1. two girls’ faces.
  2. Two child’s faces
  3. A vase
  4. A marble building
  5. A sketch of faces
  6. A sketch of a tomb
  7. Two men’s faces
  8. A glass
  9. A door’s interior
  10. Reflection in the mirror
  11. Two friends’ faces
  12. Enemies faces
  13. Black children faces
  14. White children faces
  15. Indian faces
  16. Any thing else

These are only examples. You may create any meaning from the above picture. Your perception is yours and there is no guideline to perceive this picture in one particular way. You are the author of your own unique picture. Everybody in this world would create a different perception about this picture ; about other pictures ; and about every other scene of this world. There are countless perceptions of the same picture indeed; rather more precisely there are countless perceptions of the same concept in this world.

Similarly there are countless expressions of the same perceptual image. When we perceive some information, we interpret it in our brain and express in some ways. We, no doubt, do it automatically, unconsciously and systematically. Our actions, then, depict some portions of our perceptions. Thus, each one among us, carries a distinct and separate way of expressing its unique perception. No two expressions are similar to each other; though could share some of the features and manifest them fully. Just like our faces that can resemble to someone fully while sharing some of the traits too; but we are unique in our personality from many other aspects. Our perceptions are alike.

What a great amount of perceptions we hold! Incredible human perceptions and their related expressions make us truly a unique being in this world. Whether you are a lay man, a teacher, a business man, an artist, a skilled worker, a nurse, a gate keeper, a leader, an organizer, a manager, a student, a sweeper, a lecturer, a dentist, a doctor, or a scientist; you are unique in your perception. You do not need to collect references to support you or collect examples to validate your view point; you are already unique. Your attitude, emotion, interpretation and beliefs can never match or compete. Your ways are yours and you are responsible for them. Though you may blame someone for guiding you in a wrong direction; but the last decision was yours to take a step ahead. So it is you who perceived wrong. Step back and take charge of your perception. Honor your perception being unique and subtle; the world will honor you in return.

Save Your Time And Look For Everlasting Relationships

When you go for shopping, you come across many products of your choice and you choose something that you like obviously in terms of beauty, quality, and price. When you have no choice available, you go to the item you are in need of. When there are some choices, you do a little comparison of price, brand and quality. You pick one that fits in your criteria. The point I want to raise here is that some of us go for the quality irrespective of high price; some go for the design of the product and ignore the other features; some go for the price and ignore other traits ; and we all adopt different criteria for different products in different timings. Our ultimate decision is very much satisfactory or we regret that and promise for the future awareness. We learn from our bad shopping habits and try to improve our list by adopting different strategies with respect to our knowledge of various brands and their relative quality traits.

However, in human relationships, there is less time left to amend our decisions. When we take a wrong decision in relationship, we have to suffer for longer and the after facts are everlasting in many cases. Whether you are young and in a relationship or in the process of establishing a good relationship; your little decisions in the matter contribute a lot in your future level of overall happiness and satisfaction. Once you start experiencing wrong things, your energy, enthusiasm and potential start deteriorating day by day and in the end many would collapse. That unfortunately is unacceptable and worse outcome to achieve in life.

Suppose you are a product and you want others to like you for what you are- how would you convince others to do that? Simply by showing your personality traits, attitudes, habits and emotions. But what if they like your face, body, and height! These are good pretty awesome traits of your personality, but very much deceiving and critical in terms of relationship. When someone would start living with your outer self; you might be in trouble after some time. As the other person’s relationship with you is not based on sharing something together rather attracting a body for a while. Thus, there are chances that you will go for a break up very soon! This is true to you as well, if you are going for the outer beauty of the other person. Here from outer beauty I mean anything that you could see from your naked eyes: body, job, wealth, health, successes, social life, status quo or anything alike.

On the opposite side, when you go for the inner beauty, for some specific attitude, for some unique emotional quality of a person; there are ample chances to win the game. As you are going for the long lasting traits of the product; you might not get bored and look for anything else very soon. There might be something else that you do not like or that surprise you in someone when you start living with that; but the situation would not be as intense as that in the first case could go.

Therefore, if you want your partner to look inside you for a long time; you are advised to see inside others too. When you would select a humble and honest inside  as well as show your inner clear and empathetic – your partner would appreciate it. When you show outer side and look for outer beauty; you attract the same quality in your partner and in the end, both smash bluntly to break-up or to live together forcefully.

Do we express as per our true perceptions?

Have you ever got a cold? Certainly, many times! You feel headache, fever, tiredness, strain, drowsy, and aches. You tell the doctor what you are experiencing (the symptoms of your disease) – not the actual discomfort. Many times, we have the same symptoms, but the reason is not cold and flue. We are diagnosed with another disease – might be tonsils, earache, stomach acidity, allergic reaction, mouth cancer, tooth ache or sinus disease.

Have you seen toddlers crying and irritating for obviously no reason you could guess. Sometimes they are hungry or wet or bore or tired, other times they might be ill, suffering from some physical discomfort or emotional upheaval. They do not say what they feel, but cry and show aggression through their rude and unnatural behavior.

Have you ever seen yourself in happy moods: doing things cheerfully, speaking politely, behaving nicely, walking and dancing, meeting people pleasantly, looking at nature gratefully, feeling refreshed, cool and compose, compared to when you are in a bad mood. You do not tell people around you why you are behaving in a particular manner, rather you present your best due to reason inside your subconscious.

People, especially boys hide their feelings. Many do not express them in black and white rather make excuses, tell the alternative reasons for their actions, smile, but don’t say why they are happy, look low in mood but would never let others clue to guess what is wrong. They do not do it for any special reason or cause; their brains are wired to do that.

This disguised emotional tendency is somewhat different from one’s personal attitude towards being hypocrites and diplomatic. It is not what we do intend to achieve our set goals and cheap benefits. Rather, we do it almost unintentionally and unconsciously. Ideally, how can we, first analyze our emotions theoretically and then express them in relevant words! That is why we conceal our true emotional tendencies, perceptions and sentiments and deal with only their side-effects, symptoms and after-facts. Therefore, people around us to form their opinions based on what they observe, listen or feel. They are not aware of our true intentions behind our sentiments, deeds, attitudes, and words as well.

Let me introduce some of the statements and their derived meanings, compared with the actual meaning of the subject. The first part of the sentence is the statement delivered, the in bracket sentence is the inner feelings, and the last sentence is the derived meanings by the listener.

a. I am going to get some fresh air (I am very depressed and in need of some time alone with me) – He is going to have a secret meeting, not a walk.
b. I am too tired, so will go to bed soon (I do not want to have sex tonight, as my mind is busy somewhere else) – He must be in some tension as he is not in the mood.
c. I am not very much hungry, will have a cup of tea instead (I am too tense, not feeling like to eat) – he mush have taken food somewhere else.
d. Mama, I want to go out for a wee shopping (at home, mama is not with me, always talks to her friends on the phone) – I suppose my son is used to have shopping with me.
e. I am going to buy some food, so see you next time (I do not want to talk more with this lady) – she is too busy with home affairs.

f. I think being alone is a blessing for one ( I mean without wife and children)-  I think he does not like to become social and make friends.

In each case, we say something else, perceive something else and convey all together different. Some among us conceal their total feelings with great mastery, some exaggerate to the highest level, some moderately depict, and some just cannot feel comfortable in revealing their inner to the lowest level. We do not do it by choice, rather by habit. We are trained to behave like that. We are educated and expected to talk in that manner in a specific culture. We just cannot leave our tendency to do that.

For example, on the arrival of a headache, some would say, no problem, it is part of life; some would yell and say, what the hell I am in; some would become furious and would go for a drink; some would make others aware of the fact that they are facing a headache attack for such a long time; some would just continue with their duties and forget the same level of headache indeed. Take another example. Some reach in time (exactly on time); some reach in time (a few minutes before right time); some reach in time (a couple of minutes after exact time) and some reach in time (though usually they are late). So again, we perceive different meanings within the same statement. Thus, it is very much subjective to express one’s emotions and to what degree of intensity.

How Can You Feel Happy Always!

Today I taught myself the definition of Happiness that would best satisfy me at lease and that I want to share with you so that you could think it over too. You might have the same meaning like me so this mail will affirm your belief too.

When we say happiness is something you want to get ( a materialistic approach) whether it is a car, house or laptop- after having that you will be adapted to it soon. So your happiness span will not sustain at that point. Research on happiness has proved that wealthy people are not necessarily happy people.  To defend the same concept, you can find thousands of examples online too.

Secondly, happiness is taken as a temporary feeling. You will be happy today and unhappy tomorrow. So your happiness depends on several trivial factors that make you happy. You can try some tricks like doing exercise, going for a walk, doing yoga or any other meditation, having a social circle of friends, and living on some beach side , or listening to soothing tunes, to boost your happiness level; but you cannot fully control your emotions and will not always become happy by trying these tips.

When you say your happiness depends on your family structure. You are again in blind valley. Sometimes events will go smoothly to make you happy and other times, you would become the victim. You cannot fully depend on your relatives to make you happy otherwise you are at high risk of feeling dejected, cheated and molested.  So this definition is not for everyone- might work for someone at a particular time.

You might be thinking, then what is happiness? For some who stand below poverty level, happiness is fulfilling their basic needs. For the sick people, happiness is being healthy and nothing else. For the students, happiness to a large part, revolves around their marks and exam success. For a professional, happiness is to achieve their goals: short term or long term. For a businessman, happiness rests in having lots of profit and earn more. Thus, for each one of us, criteria of  happiness, being distinct from others,  changes with time, age and experiences. Not even a small group of people share the same criteria of happiness fully. Yes, on some matters, people could agree to become happy together.

Principally, happiness is God’s way of giving a reward to His creation. He decides whom to give, when to give and how much to give. When we do good, feel good or positive, and believe in goodness, we are blessed with a great amount of happiness and peace of mind. You would not believe that some people among us, receive from God,  the immeasurable pleasure, ecstasy and peace, continuously and persistently,  for the unlimited period of life, in the form of a compensation for their sacrifices to humanity, gratitudes, and compassion.

Here it is again important to keep in mind that it is not important to do something great to please God for the gift of happiness rather a small gesture, a little good feeling and a sudden good thought could bring a lot of happiness in your life if it is capable of drawing your creator’s attention towards you. There is no science  or there is a science beyond your expectation and capability!

Thanks

How Can We Save Our Children From Being Aggressive?   

Aggression in children is not very common in cold countries as compared to warm places. There are many factors that contribute to the child’s aggressive behavior: weather, noise pollution, family structure, food, and parents parenting style. The most important one is ‘parents’ parenting style’.
One should know what to do when his/her child is in an aggressive mood otherwise things will become more complex and alarming in the future. Here are some common mistakes that parents do and contribute a lot towards the aggression of their children deliberately or unconsciously:
Continue reading →

Learn From Babies 

Have you ever seen a baby? She is so cute with her tiny feet, pure smile, loving gestures and incredible affection. Have you ever realized that your child could not walk properly, could not speak fluently, could not fulfill any task given to her and could not even take food with care ( without having any mess) yet she could give a smile, could perceive your love, anger, sadness, excitement and other emotions. Have you ever realized that in spite of being too weak and too dependent, your baby is fully equipped with the strongest emotion-love.

Continue reading →

Emotional Immunization 

 

Children are our next generation and our future depends on them. They need to be healthy emotionally, physically and psychologically. We all know that medicines help us in curing diseases and improve our health in all over the world. Similarly, we know how antibiotics prove a beneficial medicine in certain circumstances. We all use immunizations to provide our children a proper level of self defense against fatal diseases. Thus we take all feasible measures to protect ourselves from any possible low or high risk disease since the beginning.

Unfortunately, in the world of psychology, we wait for the problems to arise and then take steps accordingly. We do not prepare our children for a variety of troubles that may come across their way in the future. We do not bother if our kids have certain emotions to deal with setbacks in life, to fight with others negativity with confidence, to strive for their rights with commitment and consistency. We care for their self-esteem, motivation, confidence and sociability to some extent, but the level of training is not specified in the exact terms as it should be.

In this regard, I strongly feel that the syllabus should not only cover positive traits rather negative traits. It should explain the possible negative events a person might encounter in life and suggest the best possible strategy to follow in such circumstances.

The syllabus must explain the negative emotions and their types. It should explain how to overcome negativity and how to react on negativity of others. It should explain in exact terms, what one should do with the arrival of negative thoughts and on encountering the other negative emotions. Moreover, the fake and simulation type experiences can be added to the children’s syllabus to prepare them to deal with negativity in the environment.

Similarly other psychological aspects: personality disorder, mood disorder, sleep disorder, anxiety disorder, somatoform disorder, developmental disorder, cognitive disorder, impulsive-control disorder, or sexual disorder, should not be ignored. Children must be introduced to primary psychological issues to better equip them with tools to fight with future possible psychological setbacks. Again fake training experiences in schools can teach them better about how to deal with some common psychological issues that may bother them in the future.

Prevention is not for medical science only; rather it is very vital in psychological development and growth. We must prevent our children from psychological traumas and the same time from any suspected psychological disorder. Keeping aside the procedures that have already been established in schools for the assessment of children’s aptitude and attitude, IQ and E.Q., self-esteem and self-concept, here, it is strongly recommended to create some strict guidelines for the psychological health of the children to prevent them from future psychological traumas and disorders. Just like the rules of ‘washing hands’, ‘brushing teeth’, and ‘healthy food intake’, for a healthy body, we can teach them to be positive, think ahead, believe in yourself, use your instinct, in schools to prevent them from becoming a victim of any psychological disorder in the future.

Children need a proper psychological training and guideline to follow in their life. They need to understand what could happen to them if they stop preventing them from psychological traumas. They need to understand their personality type and then work on it accordingly. They need to get a proper training to get rid of from their negative psychological traits as well as polishing positive psychological aspects. In short, prevention is better than cure, not in medical science rather for psychological health too.
Thanks