Emotions and Attitudes

How To Improve Interaction And Attachment Between You And Your Children  

 

There are many activities that you can choose from to create a wonderful environment at home while playing with your kids, but in this article I will only focus on things that need no or small amount of cash and will provide maximum pleasure of interaction and attachment between you and your toddlers.

1. Stickers

You may buy stickers for your and your kid’s choice and guide your child to stick them on their favorite toys to look better. For example, they can make eyes on several items; they can put the ball like stickers on the wheels of their cars to make the wheels more beautiful; they can fix many things with the help of stickers. It is so much fascinating and creative activity that not only provides your child a good hand and eye co-ordination rather is vital for strong bonding between you and your children.

2. Draws

If you have one simple table with draws, you can create many activities with your child. She can put her clothes, socks, scarf, hats, shoes etc. in them separately and can play with them at the same time. Similarly kids can enjoy putting their favorite stuff like dolls or cars in draws from time to time. You can join them by putting their toys in draws and can create a friendly and harmonious environment at the same time.

3. Books.

Books are very cheap in charity shops. Parents can buy lots of them, and both kids and parents can enjoy together while talking to each other and having fun with their kids. If you buy a magnetic book (or make it at home without magnetic part of it) it will pay you much more than its price in terms of attachment and satisfaction. Kids just love to put different stuff on pictures whether they stick or not.

4. Painting and Drawing

There are many kinds of paints and markers available in market nowadays, but if you buy a simple black slate or white board to draw with simple chalks or color markers, you can share lots of things together. For older kids, painting is very interesting activity, if one of their parents joins them in their refreshment and learning time.

5. PC or Laptop Fun

If you have a computer or laptop at home, your kids would like to see their favorite series/items (depends on their age level) on it too, and you both may enjoy while sitting together. If you have to do something very important, your child can watch her favorite item separately and you can also do your surfing separately in one window! Moreover, your kid can enjoy typing ‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’, etc. if you buy a separate keyboard for her so that she could move her little fingers freely.

6. Food Fun

You can offer your kids lots of things that they can cut and make their favorite items like cars, dolls, animals etc. Such baking cutters are easily available in markets and are not very expensive too. Kids love to enjoy in meal times too so providing them this activity will also increase their appetite.

7. Cards

You may buy the memory cards from the market or can make them yourself free of cost. Kids usually love cards of different pictures, colors and figures. You may create many games with cards that all depend on the nature of cards and age of your child. In this way, you and your child may play together while having immense fun and learning.

8. Join Them

The last important thing is to join them whatever they are doing. For boys if they are playing with cars, try to fix their car problems, make new cars out of old ones, find new routes for them, change their shape if possible, etc. if you are with girl and she is playing with dolls, try to make doll stuff yourself. It shows all your affection and love that your child will never ignore. And you do not need any training for that, it is just a matter of willingness to join your kids whatever they are doing.

In short, parents can enjoy with their kids while doing lots of things together if they have time and energy at some point of the day. The important thing is that, toddlers need someone’s presence with them to have parallel play otherwise they will not be so much involved and enthusiastic in learning or playing. Parents need to watch them carefully how they like to play with and then they can add something from their side as a guide and teacher. Toddlers will not follow the instructions of parents rather they need to be listened patiently and tactfully for most of the time. The activity routine needs to be changed too. One activity every day will lose its effectiveness and you with your kid will not find it interesting anymore after a few days. So different activities on different days will enhance your Child’s IQ and will provide to both of you the best quality time ever.
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How Can We Save Our Children From Being Aggressive?   

Aggression in children is not very common in cold countries as compared to warm places. There are many factors that contribute to the child’s aggressive behavior: weather, noise pollution, family structure, food, and parents parenting style. The most important one is ‘parents’ parenting style’.
One should know what to do when his/her child is in an aggressive mood otherwise things will become more complex and alarming in the future. Here are some common mistakes that parents do and contribute a lot towards the aggression of their children deliberately or unconsciously:
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The Best Gift Parents Give To Their Children

Parents are responsible for their children’s well being overall. It includes healthy food, good education, a safe place to live, a sense of unconditional love, and a sense of greater self-esteem. Parents at their level best try to fulfill all. They not only give formal education to their offspring rather informal moral education go side-by-side. Vigilant parents provide their children not only a clean, safe place to live rather a sense of surety within. Empathetic parents understand the importance of unconditional love towards their children and at the same time impose some limits to stop their children from being aggressive, disobedient and rude. Parents are well informed about their children’s level of self-esteem in schools and their work together with teachers to improve it their better future and a successful life ahead.
Though the responsibilities of the parents never end, what they do not understand in this regard is their responsibility to give their children indirect education, love, safety and self-esteem that will create long lasting effects. How can parents fulfill such a need:
By loving each other in front of their children
By taking care of each other in front of their children
By respecting each other in their children’s presence
By tolerating each other in their child’s presence.
By showing empathy to each other when children are around
By behaving nicely when children are around
Thus, their children will imitate their role models and learn a lot. When parents do something else and say something else, children cannot follow any of these. They b

 

ecome confused and do what they like based on their own immature calculation. Not only this, we, as parents, need not to pretend that we are loving, nice or caring – we need to be real, honest and pure with ourselves to convey our messages to our children in reality.
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Learn From Babies 

Have you ever seen a baby? She is so cute with her tiny feet, pure smile, loving gestures and incredible affection. Have you ever realized that your child could not walk properly, could not speak fluently, could not fulfill any task given to her and could not even take food with care ( without having any mess) yet she could give a smile, could perceive your love, anger, sadness, excitement and other emotions. Have you ever realized that in spite of being too weak and too dependent, your baby is fully equipped with the strongest emotion-love.

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Emotional Immunization 

 

Children are our next generation and our future depends on them. They need to be healthy emotionally, physically and psychologically. We all know that medicines help us in curing diseases and improve our health in all over the world. Similarly, we know how antibiotics prove a beneficial medicine in certain circumstances. We all use immunizations to provide our children a proper level of self defense against fatal diseases. Thus we take all feasible measures to protect ourselves from any possible low or high risk disease since the beginning.

Unfortunately, in the world of psychology, we wait for the problems to arise and then take steps accordingly. We do not prepare our children for a variety of troubles that may come across their way in the future. We do not bother if our kids have certain emotions to deal with setbacks in life, to fight with others negativity with confidence, to strive for their rights with commitment and consistency. We care for their self-esteem, motivation, confidence and sociability to some extent, but the level of training is not specified in the exact terms as it should be.

In this regard, I strongly feel that the syllabus should not only cover positive traits rather negative traits. It should explain the possible negative events a person might encounter in life and suggest the best possible strategy to follow in such circumstances.

The syllabus must explain the negative emotions and their types. It should explain how to overcome negativity and how to react on negativity of others. It should explain in exact terms, what one should do with the arrival of negative thoughts and on encountering the other negative emotions. Moreover, the fake and simulation type experiences can be added to the children’s syllabus to prepare them to deal with negativity in the environment.

Similarly other psychological aspects: personality disorder, mood disorder, sleep disorder, anxiety disorder, somatoform disorder, developmental disorder, cognitive disorder, impulsive-control disorder, or sexual disorder, should not be ignored. Children must be introduced to primary psychological issues to better equip them with tools to fight with future possible psychological setbacks. Again fake training experiences in schools can teach them better about how to deal with some common psychological issues that may bother them in the future.

Prevention is not for medical science only; rather it is very vital in psychological development and growth. We must prevent our children from psychological traumas and the same time from any suspected psychological disorder. Keeping aside the procedures that have already been established in schools for the assessment of children’s aptitude and attitude, IQ and E.Q., self-esteem and self-concept, here, it is strongly recommended to create some strict guidelines for the psychological health of the children to prevent them from future psychological traumas and disorders. Just like the rules of ‘washing hands’, ‘brushing teeth’, and ‘healthy food intake’, for a healthy body, we can teach them to be positive, think ahead, believe in yourself, use your instinct, in schools to prevent them from becoming a victim of any psychological disorder in the future.

Children need a proper psychological training and guideline to follow in their life. They need to understand what could happen to them if they stop preventing them from psychological traumas. They need to understand their personality type and then work on it accordingly. They need to get a proper training to get rid of from their negative psychological traits as well as polishing positive psychological aspects. In short, prevention is better than cure, not in medical science rather for psychological health too.
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Self-Esteem – An Innate Trait

Self –Esteem is nowadays a common truth that everyone knows to some extent. We know when we feel low in esteem and when we feel high self esteem. We cannot say for sure, whether our self-esteem is real or fake, but we know that we are confronted with self-esteem issues and nothing else. You may find thousand techniques on how to gain self esteem truly and how to increase it day by day. You may find literature on how to maintain a healthy level of self esteem and become a successful human being as a result. In most of the cases, information is trustworthy and you can get benefit from such resources.

Here I am talking about the precaution not the solution of self-esteem related disorders. What do you think if we stop it from the beginning or try not to encounter with it throughout our life span. What if a child is given an immunization to prevent him/her from self-esteem problems in the future just like medical immunization systems? Can we provide our children a strong base to tackle with all kinds of self-esteem issues that might cause any severe disorder in their young or adult life? Self-esteem is visibly low in almost all psychological and personality disorders, so this prevention will benefit our next generation a lot.

The next question in this regard is how to prevent our nation from self-esteem problems? The answer is simple: we have to give them injections of low self esteem. We have to tell our children exactly what they will do, feel or observe when they face low self-esteem in their daily life. They need to understand all kinds of low self esteem and their severe consequences. Not only this, rather we need to give our children fake experiences of low self esteem and tell them how to get rid of it. These activities will train them for higher-level issues and they will not lose control when they find a real life threat to their self-esteem. In simple words, we have to educate them all basics of self-esteem and guide them through practical examples on how can they resist severe attacks of low self-esteem.

Self esteem is not limited to one field of life rather covers all areas of life and that is why it is very difficult to assess it as a whole and provide prevention skills. To tackle with its complexity, we need to assess our children from time to time and diagnose which type of information is vital for whom. Then, the best possible training might be provided to the students for the success of their future endeavors in general.

Safety tips for health, education, business, marketing, cooking, gardening and writing, save most of us in our daily life. We are accustomed to read them to get general information and to prevent us from commonsense mistakes. However, for psychological problems, we rarely look for others psyche and bother to improve ours. This is the main reason why we face troubles and usually it is too late to cure. We think we are the only one who is having this type of problem. Such thinking makes us more vulnerable towards helplessness and anxiety. Therefore, it is recommended to include self-esteem tips hand outs in all types of syllabi to prevent students from possible side effects of low self-esteem.

If I say that self-esteem is a contagious disease, it will not be very wrong. When we sit beside someone with low self-esteem, his/her ways of thinking affect ours in a systematic way. In addition, the same is true for us. As a result, we gain a new level of self-esteem (low or high) and unconsciously keep on delivering ours and absorbing others self-esteem from time to time. For this reason, we have to decide what are the golden rules that can prevent us from getting infected from others with low self-esteem. We need to establish a formula or pattern of beliefs that must be able to deal with such issues in advance.

Parent’s self-esteem is a great source of energy for their kids. By contrast, when parents suffer from low self-esteem, children’s self-esteem directly or indirectly is very much affected. To solve this problem, parenting classes to boost high level of self-esteem among their children are already getting inspiration in some of the areas of advanced world. Here the information that parents’ own level of self-esteem need to be raised to raise their children’s self-esteem is very vital. Educationists must have sessions with their pupils’ parents to see if the child’s low self-esteem has any connection with parents’ self esteem!

To conclude, self-esteem is very complex and common human trait and plays as a backbone in each psychological disorder. We can serve our children by utilizing our knowledge to give them proper training to deal with the self-esteem dilemmas. At the same time, we can equip them with a handful amount of tips to remain safe in the environment where low self-esteem threats are everywhere.

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Your Preference In A Particular Time Will Decide About Your True Love

We live with someone we have to share many things from food to bed. In couples, usually arguments arise due to having a contradictory point of view about one object. Do you want to know what is the real truth about your partner with respect to love, sex and intimacy? Are you aware of your partner’s true nature? Have you ever experienced your partner reacted differently somewhere beyond your expectations? If yes, then it is a case of contradictory preferences. Consider the following statements for a while:

• In normal circumstances, I would love to take you, but today I am more interested to go to university to see my friend.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to go to university to see my friend, but today I want to see my favorite movie last show in the cinema.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to go to the cinema to see that movie, but today I will have to arrange a job for my best friend.

• In normal circumstances, I would love to arrange a job for my best friend, but today my commitment with my son is more important.

• In normal circumstances, I would take my son to the park, but today I have to go for shopping first.

• In normal circumstances, I would go for the shopping first, but today I have to write a blog on my website.

• In normal circumstances, I would write a blog on my website, but today I am having a dinner outside.

In the above example, in each event, the preference is changed. The most preferred thing is our true nature that we just cannot postpone at any cost. We can also check our partner’s preferences in different circumstances and finally evaluate which is his/her true preference.
We, for most of the time, think we know ourselves better, but it is not true. Whenever we have better options, we go for that. Whenever we have ailments and troubles, we leave our present state of preferences and think that health is our first priority. So we always compare our likes and dislikes with respect to their value that we assign. In other words, we would change our preferences if we have more alternatives. Therefore, preferences themselves are nothing; they should always be considered with respect to alternatives. For example: you have two choices available to choose from: red color or black color. You are bound to prefer one; otherwise your choice would have been different.
Some would argue in this regard that their preferences never change. In reality their likes and dislikes never change. Our behavior in terms of our actions is always based on our preferences. What we choose, we go for it, and that is our priority, likeness and selection at that time. Our preferences reflect our true nature. Others preferences reflect their true nature. Your preferences reflect your true nature. Yes, the preferences keep on changing, but they describe what you are – not you.
You cannot separate your preferences from time boundaries as well. Alternatives change with the time –so too preferences. Today you prefer Honda car and tomorrow you will be going to Toyota. Today you are having HP laptop and tomorrow you would prefer Toshiba. Thus, your preferences are strictly associated with the alternatives available at some specific time. Analyze them fully and your partner’s to some extent and cool down. Your half of the problems must be resolved at this point. The rest ones should not take long if they are based on preferential contradictions.
If you are interested to read more, please follow the link below:

 

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Shades Of Nature  

We all have different types of personalities, attitudes, moods, emotions, languages, cultures, beliefs, values, traditions, customs, and priorities in life. We share a few commonalities and the big differences even when we live together as a family member, a part of a social group and being a part of a culture, in one country – ultimately in one world.

While editing your picture, have you ever noticed the lightening effect mechanism? Or when you go outside on a sunny day and suddenly a dark cloud appears; you find a night scene around you instead! You find it hard to recognize the real color of things in that darkness. You cannot judge the real time of the day in that sudden changed background. You cannot feel the sun anymore! However, here are two options for you to choose from:

First strategy:

If you are a lover of a sun, you will be disappointed and a bit sad on a sudden cloud’s arrival. If you are a lover of the rain, you will be happier with this sudden change. Therefore, your mood will depend upon your concepts in your brain about that change.

Second Strategy:

There is another way to deal with this natural change in your life. You think this is nature’s way to communicate with you and you try to understand the hidden meanings of this message. You trust on Universe (God for the believers) that there is always something good for you in each sudden change you encounter and you may express your gratitude in return for such changes. As you believe that these are natures gifts for you and you are lucky to feel them, to touch them, to recognize them, to acknowledge them and to be with them.

In the second way of expression, it does not matter what happens- rather it matters how you react. When you react in that manner, the nature is always kind and responsive in return; whereas in the first two ways, you are getting nothing except a hollow feeling. Thus the first strategy is for the worldly people; the second strategy is for the spiritual ones. You can try both to see the real difference between them.

Apart from this, there is another lesson in seeing the world under dark and light effects. When we depict our circumstances under bright sunlight while utilizing our harsh and strong emotional energy and manipulate our feelings aggressively; we become severely charged and difficult to resist, control and convince. On the opposite side, when we react calmly, with a cool mind, being contented and polite- we are dealing with the same environment under dark cloud effects while utilizing our emotional intelligence in the best possible way. Thus the substance remains the same, only our reaction makes the difference.

All in all, our perceptions of things will change with our perception of nature. Nature remains same –whether it is dark or light. We see the different moods in us with each changed sight. Nature provides us the same subject with different backgrounds; thus we perceive differently. The reality of things remains there as it was a hundred years ago. Matter does not change its volume – only changes its form.

We can always challenge our perceptions and analyze them to find out our real perceptions. When we come to know the science of lightening effects, we will better criticize our judgments for our preferences. When we come to know that there is only one picture ahead that is sometimes dark and other times light due to the natures lightening effects, we are no more confused and bewildered upon our conflicting perceptions.
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Human Love Need Not To Be Unconditional 

We all know what unconditional love is and how to apply it in a proper way. We all know parents love for their children must be unconditional, God’s love for his creation is always unconditional, and we know we need to develop unconditional love if we love someone truly. Unconditional means, love someone without any effort to change someone’s behavior, personality, and beliefs- accepting others with all shortcomings, limitations and weaknesses. We all know it very well and expect the same love from others too. Here, I am focusing on the love that needs not to be unconditional or there will not be any love at all. Have you experienced any kind of abuse in your life? If yes, then do you love your abuser? If yes, then you need not to love him anymore. Any kind of torture, abuse, discrimination and violation of human rights must not be appreciated, encouraged, or beloved in any scenario. Of course the abuser, criminal, or discriminator should not be hated as their actions need to be condemned. But what about love? Would we be able to love such personalities? Is it in our hand to love someone who is giving pain to us? Is it in our hand to separate the two things: crime and criminal? Linguistically or theoretically, it is possible to separate the two things, but practically and physically it is hard to distinguish between the two. We cannot love someone who is giving torture, who is an abuser, or who is the violator of basic human rights. Yes, we can forgive him/her and wish him/her a prosperous life and happiness with the awareness of his/her criminality. We can teach him/her on how to leave bad habits and facilitate him/her in the recovery process. We can donate something to him/her and his family for the sake of goodness and humbleness but we cannot be able to love him/her. Should we? Till the time, someone is in the zone of criminality and not guilty on his/her deeds, he or she must not be loved. God himself loves those who care for humanity, who are gentle in nature, and express their gratitude all the time. God is not with abusers, cheaters, thieves, liars, killers, rapists and seducers. Similarly we cannot separate a good deed from a person’s personality. We are impressed by nice behavior, cool conduct, polite attitude, and empathetic minds. We love the people who care for us, who help us out, who share with us and who support us in one way or the other. We just cannot see them without their personality aspects. or can we? People, who simply want others to love them unconditionally, are at fault. Even mothers need to take care of their children’s feelings in everyday life. When they ignore them largely (punish them, shout at them, and panic them) for a long time, love bond between the two will be at risk too. Such as in the cases of abuse (between parents and children) children will not keep on loving their parents unconditionally – the time will come when there will not be any love between the two. Although we all need the love that is basically unconditional from others but at the same time we do not accept others unconditionally. When someone dear to us, go against our nature, does something that annoys us, shows enmity to us, curses us, yells at us, shows disrespect to us, humiliates us, degrades us, makes us vulnerable, or does anything against us that we severely condemn, we all become sick and our love is no more there. At the end, we will not be in love– conditional or unconditional. To give punishment for crimes, to stop someone from being rude, to correct someone by force, or not to help someone in doing fraud, are all kinds of love for humanity. If we understand that to love someone unconditionally does not mean to accept him/her being abusive or torturous, then we can promote unconditional love and claim to have one. Otherwise we will put ourselves in a vicious circle of disappointment, depression, anxiety and frustration. Likewise, we need to understand that someone’s unconditional love for us does not mean he/she accepts our irrational and intolerable behavior. He/she has a right to save his/her life whenever it is in danger irrespective of the love he/she keeps for us. Only by this way, we can maintain a healthy unconditional love for someone. To conclude, love is always there but its quality is likely to improve if someone we love fulfills our expectations and shares many things with us in one way or the other. Love need not to be conditional in any case, but it is likely to fade with time, if we ignore basic human rights, relationship needs and do not concern to others in the time of need. We do not define conditions on our love intentionally as they are in our unconscious mind and we associate our love with them indirectly. When we do not get what we need for a long time from the person we love, we stop loving him/her and the love (unconditional) is simply not there. The same is true for any kind of relationship except God and His Creation. Thanks

Why Do Not We, Touch Hearts?

In today’s world, everybody seems to look healthy, prosperous, happy and tempted to earn more and more. Each one of us is in the race to get more money to spend, more things to enjoy, more pills to become healthier and more tasks to pursue. We, are blindly following our standards. Some of us are more persistent and ambitious than others in doing that. Some are more hardworking and motivated to achieve their goals than others. Some are more focused and strict in their routine to get what they want from life. Some wait for others to help them out to get what they want. Some remain contented and enjoy whatever they already have. The main idea is that we in one way or the other are in the similar programming:

a. Following a path to get somewhere
b. Fulfilling our present needs to get more in future
c. Looking for other ways to improve our present condition
d. Attracting new paths, new goals, and new tasks every day
e. Trying to look happy in the meanwhile
f. Smiling to leave an impression on others
g. Being social to fulfill our social needs
There is one exception: the people who live in their past. So they are exempted from this discussion.

Apart from all that, have you ever considered the feeling that you are missing every day, with each step you ahead, with each goal you achieve, with each success you embrace. The feeling in your heart – the pure touching feeling!
You must be enjoying your life though. You might be happy with your present finances and family matters. You might be having vocations in the nearby country to have fun. Even then I would say you are missing something. Something touchable- something for free; however, not each one among you could experience that!

To help others by all means. Have you ever thought, to help others, means to help yourself. When you help others, you feel light, ecstatic, and touchable. Your feelings are unique, distinct and subtle. Your feelings are pure, perfect and complete. You feel a lot in a single moment, you go miles ahead in a second, you are at the highest place in just one minute. Those feelings you must have in your life before, but for how many times- once or twice. So you are missing them badly. You do not know how much you need them. Your real health lies in that secret. Your existence is only possible if you feel like that – touchable.

Although there are many other things to do in the name of goodness, but my emphasis is on the things that we do for others on a voluntary basis. These things bring a real joy in our heart that is priceless indeed. When we get gratitude from others, we feel gratitude in our heart too, and that means we touch hearts. In other words we say thanks to the Universe in our own way. We are sending a message of gratitude to the universe. Touching hearts must be spread all over the world to increase the volume of gratitude – to reduce the miseries, diseases, cruelties and sufferings. Give me a hand in doing that. Will you?
Thanks