The Best Medicine For Stressed Parents  

 

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In todays modern lifestyle, everyone is stressed up, tired and bore,  especially the parents. In most of the parts of the world, parents are usually engaged in earnings and greatly tired when back home. Even if one of the parents is not working hand, he or she must be doing house chores and at the end of the day would feel strained, pains, and aches with dull and strange mood. Each one of us is suffering from some kind of anxieties so they will further boost the stress and play their role in feeling less energetic and rude to some extent. Usually parents are irritating and annoyed on trivial matters of children. They feel like to take a long, deep sleep when their children want their time!

Not all of you have the same situation so I will focus on the group who is especially stressful and full of anxiety and depression at the moment. However, it is becoming very common routine of parents nowadays to become more critical and less sharing with their kids. My observation is not different in this regard. I have seen many who just want to get rid of their day to day routine and want an escape. They are simply not ready to accept the reality of their situation that they are Parents now and no more kids!

What parents do when they feel low? Usually they take medicines, go for the therapies, and try several tips to return to their old track. They go for swimming, for example, go for a walk, go to the gym, go to yoga, listen soft and soothing music, change their eating habits, and do whatever their source suggests them to do to live a stress free life. The point is that all of such tactics are not wrong if they do not  forget one thing all together.

They forget that nature can never ever do something wrong with them. They, being a parent, are not blessed with only duties, responsibilities and anxieties. Nature’s blessings are  equal to everyone. It makes no sense that what a wealthy man can afford to relax, a poor cannot. This is especially not true with the parental stress. Nature cannot be biased in bestowing her blessings to its creation. There must be something wrong with us. We must have forgotten something very important and unique; so we are suffering.

That, something very important is, that the best medicine is the sharing your love with someone: your parents, siblings, your children or your friends. When you love someone, you are in cool mood, stress free and fresh. When you become parents you become more responsible and mature. This does not mean you cannot play with your kids. You need to understand that playing with your kids is not only your kids wish and need; it is basically your physical and innate need. Moreover, playing with your kid will reduce your stress hormones, give you more happiness, increase your oxygen level, boost your energy, improve your vision and memory and leave you with a refreshed and sexy human being. If you are suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes and any kind of psychological disorder, your time spent with your kids will help you to recover fast.

Here, it is important to note that playing with your kids should not be taken as going with your kids to the playground or playing areas. You should spare some time to play with your children every day in which you play a role just like your kid. You may pretend that, but it is the most important part of the game. Even if your kids play with their siblings, cousins, or friends, your role will never be compensated. Thus to become a loving and caring parent, you need to engage yourself with your kids as much as possible. It will not only help your kids to become a good human being rather get you away from present or upcoming diseases, sufferings, anxieties, and stresses.

If you have another point to raise in this regard, please do not mind commenting on it. I would love to reply you in my humble capacity.

Thanks

A Word To MY Fellow Bloggers

Today I was wondering why my blogs are not getting attention after doing so many things and after having thought on topics of my interest for such a long time. I was having a mad mood throughout the day  while feeling same lack. I was wondering why my blogs are not worth reading by the viewers. Then I kept on thinking on the same lines and thought my books are not getting attention. No one has ever checked them. I had a stomach ache all the way coming to home from the market. No argument could convince me for my bad luck and hopelessness.

I was nearly fainting when a sudden thought came to my mind, and I would like to share it with you so that you could also get some spirit at your low times, the feelings were like that:

Mona, you know the best ever knowledge in this world is the least expensive, even then people are not ready to get it in their spare time. You can find all religious books online for free to read or download like the Bible, Quran, and many others. You know the best ever content is there and people are not bothered much to read it for themselves. Then how can they become motivated to read you whereas you have just stepped in, in the blog market.

Mona, in todays modern world, people are more interested to buy dreams, unreal, and fiction stories than non-fiction and hard cruel realities. People would like to waste money on non-sense fashion, movies and glamorous shows as compared to reading free library books while sitting in the library or at home. People would most likely convince themselves to buy products to comfort their bodies than buying some books to ease their souls. People are more interested to go on Facebook to make new friends and have a chit chat than reading blogs – especially yours.

Mona, you need to be patient and consistent if you really want to have viewers daily. It does not mean that you are not worth blogging, it means you need to bring some changes in your attitude and schedule to make your blog a real show. It does not mean you only take care of the choice of your viewers rather it means you present your views in the most acceptable and challenging way. Your style should be unique and convincing otherwise you will lose all!

What do you think, is it a good advice that I should consider? If you have another suggestion for me, please let me know. I would be highly grateful to you as this is my beginning and I have to improve all the time continuously and persistently.

Thanks

Fashion Culture In Pakistan

Fashion is not bad rather a need in today’s modern lifestyle. It is not limited to only dress out-fits rather covers all aspects of life from home-décor, gardening, cultural things, vehicles, traditions, parties, vacations, hobbies, professions, to beliefs,values, thoughts, priorities and identities. In almost every culture of the world, we can see it flourishing to some extent whether it is related to new trends in dresses, haircuts or tends in buying luxury cars, villas, or resorts. Unfortunately, in Pakistan, it has become a need!

Now the question is:Is fashion a need, a source of self-esteem, a status symbol, a sense of well-being or a source of low self-esteem, an unfailing desire, a cause of poverty, a feeling of lack? What is fashion in a country where more than 80 percent of the population cannot afford food, electricity, shelter, clothing, peace, education, and health?

Our country has not been developing for many years. We are facing many challenges: Taliban crisis, security crisis, poverty crisis and safety crisis. We have unemployment, crowded roads, filthy water, and no gas at all in many parts of the Pakistan. Still, we need fashion for our survival!
Recently, I have seen many places in our country and met many people in general from bottom line to the cream.People, especially, women are spending their most of the time in planning to wear fashionable outfits, striving to look like models in the fashion industry; they are interested in changing hair color; they care for their interior décor; they care for their bags and nails! Usually fashion takes priority when it comes to spend something after buy essential food items.

Fashion is not bad if you want to do it for some purpose. But if you have no healthy food at home, you have no money left for your health needs, for your educational needs, for your shelter needs, you are making a big mistake by adopting a fashionable lifestyle and promoting it at the same time.
Being a nation, as a whole, we need to think about it. We are not having enough resources to fulfill our basic needs (food, shelter, safety), and until our level best, are striving for looking good in the eyes of others.

Here are some guidelines to improve the economy of our country through a change in the attitudes of people:

1. Usually people serve their guests with as many dishes as possible. One must not serve more than one dish to the guests, whether they belong to close family, high status family or distant family.

2. In Pakistan, people simply do not like to re-wear the same item in the family function due to social and cultural pressures and honor’s sake. One should wear the same out-fit repeatedly to attend parties, functions, marriages, etc. Until it is worn out.

3. One should not spend a lot in using electrical equipments like A.C., Generators, or U.P.S., as none of these will be helping our country to get rid of electricity crisis.

4. One should not use any penny on anything non-essential whether it is an upgraded mobile phone or it is a new pair of shoes with jewels embedded on it.

5. Why wear a lot? It neither is in the favor of the economy nor is perfect according to religion. As per our religion, one must not exceed limits in any matter of life, whether it is a matter of money or matter of clothing. One should only spend on clothes according to his/her budget and specific need in the most respectful way- nothing more.

6. Every woman needs to work whether at home or out of home, whether paid or unpaid, whether for the sake of family or to the sake of self. No one should remain unemployed unless otherwise stated (due to some specific health reasons).

7. Luxury in food must be controlled whether it is related to domestic cooking or food marketing. In domestic cooking, simple and easy food should be encouraged, promoted and liked in general. Food marketing strategies must be refreshed and regularized such as advertisements of unhealthy products, offers of unhealthy food in restaurants, and promotions to invite people in some status symbol restaurants.

8. The security of one person should not be considered as the individual’s only responsibility. One must complain for other’s mistakes to the relevant authority for the matters like offending someone, harassing someone, looting, cheating or stealing etc.Similarly, one must notice dirty and filthy places and complaint about it to the concerned authority.

In the country where the laws and the structure of the economy is deteriorating day by day, people are usually encouraged to change their lifestyle from fashion to simplicity, from status to necessity, and from luxury to needs oriented attitude.Until the time, law-enforcing agencies take action and notice, people must do something to resolve their problems themselves. After all, we are suffering from the poor economy and its consequences for long. We should not be allowed to wait and see anymore!

Lastly, your opinion on the said topic would be much appreciated. Thanks

 

To The Mothers Of The Aggressive Children

 

Being a Muslim and a good human being we always give respect and favor to our mothers for their love, belongingness, care and sacrifice. Mothers are no doubt embracing the medal of nourishment and development of their kids. They are fully responsible for their kids moral and ethical education. Especially in the society of Pakistan, mothers’ role cannot be ignored as they have only one obligation to raise children and to do house chores (they are not forced to work outside).

With extreme apology, I must say that where mothers are appreciated for their brave, intelligent, successful children, they must be blamed for their cruel, hyperactive and aggressive off springs. When we say, mothers lap is the first place to learn, we must not forget the people who commit crimes, kill other innocent citizens and rape their sisters. Why not their mothers take charge of their deeds? Why not their mothers are liable for their sick personalities and ill behavioral aspects?

It is very important to understand what I want to say in this regard. No doubt, mothers are always loving, caring and nurturing by nature. No doubt mother must be respected everywhere. No doubt, mothers cannot stop crime and cruelty among society members. We cannot deny the mother’s  contribution to her children, whether she is educated or not. But at the same time, we cannot ignore mothers too when we talk about suicide bombers, honor killers, rapists, and terrorists.

Should we not educate mothers to teach their children about love, humanity, friendship, caring, sympathy, helping, generosity and gratitude. Should we not take measures to educate mothers before educating criminals, killers and suicide bomb blasters. Should not we deal with the root cause intelligently and wisely? Should not we take the mothers’ role seriously in eradicating the insecurity from the society? Should not we call mothers help to decide about our future’s peace and harmony in the most realistic manner? Only in this way, in my opinion the root cause of the unrest can be tackled with success.

Mothers can play a big role in maintaining a peace in the region. Mothers can stop the war of terrorism forever. Only mothers can perform such a duty in this critical time and help all of us miraculously. Only mothers can take the charge of bringing a change in society through their unconditional love towards their children and a firm attitude towards the negation of terrorist activities. Only mothers need to be awakened and get their children back on track!

 

How To Save On Children’s Accessories 

 

You know children accessories are very expensive nowadays. They require food, dresses, and toys. They will push you towards economical draught in no time. So what would you do to prevent this. Here are some useful tips for you:
1. Always buy second hand clothes – whether it is your new born or 5 years old.
2. The old shirts usually have your kids favorite character on them, so cut it and glue it on other shirts.
3. Go to charity shops daily and see if your child would need some of the toys. You would need them in future too.
4. Go for the books when you have no penny left in your pocket. Your library would lend you many items for free.
5. You can find second hand books too that is usually the cheapest option among all other toys.
6. You can find some sites that offer a free exchange of items. For example: freecycle.org
7. You can find colors and papers, the best economical solution to engage your child at any age.
8. If you could find a good drawer for free or for a couple of pounds, your kids will surely enjoy it.
9. You can cut your kid’s hair by yourself. Learn it on the internet, it is not that expensive.
10. The last but not the least, you take your kids to parks outside, they are usually free all the time.

Thus, we can save a lot while following the saving tips. I have mentioned a few, but you can search too on, how can you save more. It is always good to save before we regret on our luxurious spending. Thanks

How To Improve Interaction And Attachment Between You And Your Children  

 

There are many activities that you can choose from to create a wonderful environment at home while playing with your kids, but in this article I will only focus on things that need no or small amount of cash and will provide maximum pleasure of interaction and attachment between you and your toddlers.

1. Stickers

You may buy stickers for your and your kid’s choice and guide your child to stick them on their favorite toys to look better. For example, they can make eyes on several items; they can put the ball like stickers on the wheels of their cars to make the wheels more beautiful; they can fix many things with the help of stickers. It is so much fascinating and creative activity that not only provides your child a good hand and eye co-ordination rather is vital for strong bonding between you and your children.

2. Draws

If you have one simple table with draws, you can create many activities with your child. She can put her clothes, socks, scarf, hats, shoes etc. in them separately and can play with them at the same time. Similarly kids can enjoy putting their favorite stuff like dolls or cars in draws from time to time. You can join them by putting their toys in draws and can create a friendly and harmonious environment at the same time.

3. Books.

Books are very cheap in charity shops. Parents can buy lots of them, and both kids and parents can enjoy together while talking to each other and having fun with their kids. If you buy a magnetic book (or make it at home without magnetic part of it) it will pay you much more than its price in terms of attachment and satisfaction. Kids just love to put different stuff on pictures whether they stick or not.

4. Painting and Drawing

There are many kinds of paints and markers available in market nowadays, but if you buy a simple black slate or white board to draw with simple chalks or color markers, you can share lots of things together. For older kids, painting is very interesting activity, if one of their parents joins them in their refreshment and learning time.

5. PC or Laptop Fun

If you have a computer or laptop at home, your kids would like to see their favorite series/items (depends on their age level) on it too, and you both may enjoy while sitting together. If you have to do something very important, your child can watch her favorite item separately and you can also do your surfing separately in one window! Moreover, your kid can enjoy typing ‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’, etc. if you buy a separate keyboard for her so that she could move her little fingers freely.

6. Food Fun

You can offer your kids lots of things that they can cut and make their favorite items like cars, dolls, animals etc. Such baking cutters are easily available in markets and are not very expensive too. Kids love to enjoy in meal times too so providing them this activity will also increase their appetite.

7. Cards

You may buy the memory cards from the market or can make them yourself free of cost. Kids usually love cards of different pictures, colors and figures. You may create many games with cards that all depend on the nature of cards and age of your child. In this way, you and your child may play together while having immense fun and learning.

8. Join Them

The last important thing is to join them whatever they are doing. For boys if they are playing with cars, try to fix their car problems, make new cars out of old ones, find new routes for them, change their shape if possible, etc. if you are with girl and she is playing with dolls, try to make doll stuff yourself. It shows all your affection and love that your child will never ignore. And you do not need any training for that, it is just a matter of willingness to join your kids whatever they are doing.

In short, parents can enjoy with their kids while doing lots of things together if they have time and energy at some point of the day. The important thing is that, toddlers need someone’s presence with them to have parallel play otherwise they will not be so much involved and enthusiastic in learning or playing. Parents need to watch them carefully how they like to play with and then they can add something from their side as a guide and teacher. Toddlers will not follow the instructions of parents rather they need to be listened patiently and tactfully for most of the time. The activity routine needs to be changed too. One activity every day will lose its effectiveness and you with your kid will not find it interesting anymore after a few days. So different activities on different days will enhance your Child’s IQ and will provide to both of you the best quality time ever.
Thanks

 

Indirect Effect Of Mothers Gestures On Their Children

Parents do have a strong effect on their children’s personalities. Usually their attitude towards their kids and towards others is very important. Most of parental concerns are about kids education, leisure, social life and behavior in general, in terms of how they are getting along with all of this stuff. They rarely think about their selves, their beliefs, their values, and their behavioral aspects that may cause their kids behaving in a certain manner. Especially mothers (because usually they are primary caretaker) conscious or unconscious attitude towards their kids and others, has a great effect on their kids’ personalities. Assume one child is behaving rudely with other kids and the mother of aggressive child is watching that while attending a call from a friend she loves to talk. There could be several expressions in this regard:

The mother continues with no expression
The mother yells at her child and says firmly,’No’.
The mother continues her talk and mentions about the kids in a plain tone.
The mother says to her friend that she could not control her son’s rude behavior with others.
The mother tells her friend that her aggressive son is sometimes too much hyperactive, just like his father- she smiles while saying that.
The mother continues the talk and change her place to avoid the situation.
The mother says the other children not to speak with the rude one anymore.
The mother ends the call and asks the children what happened and then tries to calm down the rude one through polite arguments.
The mother yells at all the children for disturbing her a lot.
The mother takes the rude one with her and isolates him for a while.
The mother gives the rude one a piece of chocolate so that he would behave better.
The mother tells the other kids to follow the rude behavior as it is a symbol of bravery and power.
The mother tells the other children to hide themselves unless the rude one calms down.
The mother tells the lady that she is going to kill the rude one, but in reality she is not doing anything.
The mother tells the lady that she is quite helpless in controlling the kids sometimes.
The mother warns the kid about the father’s arrival soon.
The mother tells the rude one that she is not going to favor him anymore.
The mother tells the rude one that she will call a police.

And there could be several other expressions to solve the situation ahead.
Thus, in most of the cases, parents’ own attitude is directly related to their kids emotions and behaviors. Especially the mother’s own personality and her attitude in many matters play a significant role in the cognitive and behavioral development of their kids.
Thanks

 

 

 

 

How Can We Save Our Children From Being Aggressive?   

Aggression in children is not very common in cold countries as compared to warm places. There are many factors that contribute to the child’s aggressive behavior: weather, noise pollution, family structure, food, and parents parenting style. The most important one is ‘parents’ parenting style’.
One should know what to do when his/her child is in an aggressive mood otherwise things will become more complex and alarming in the future. Here are some common mistakes that parents do and contribute a lot towards the aggression of their children deliberately or unconsciously:
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The Best Gift Parents Give To Their Children

Parents are responsible for their children’s well being overall. It includes healthy food, good education, a safe place to live, a sense of unconditional love, and a sense of greater self-esteem. Parents at their level best try to fulfill all. They not only give formal education to their offspring rather informal moral education go side-by-side. Vigilant parents provide their children not only a clean, safe place to live rather a sense of surety within. Empathetic parents understand the importance of unconditional love towards their children and at the same time impose some limits to stop their children from being aggressive, disobedient and rude. Parents are well informed about their children’s level of self-esteem in schools and their work together with teachers to improve it their better future and a successful life ahead.
Though the responsibilities of the parents never end, what they do not understand in this regard is their responsibility to give their children indirect education, love, safety and self-esteem that will create long lasting effects. How can parents fulfill such a need:
By loving each other in front of their children
By taking care of each other in front of their children
By respecting each other in their children’s presence
By tolerating each other in their child’s presence.
By showing empathy to each other when children are around
By behaving nicely when children are around
Thus, their children will imitate their role models and learn a lot. When parents do something else and say something else, children cannot follow any of these. They b

 

ecome confused and do what they like based on their own immature calculation. Not only this, we, as parents, need not to pretend that we are loving, nice or caring – we need to be real, honest and pure with ourselves to convey our messages to our children in reality.
Thanks

 

The Universal Parental Religion 

There are many cultures in this world and all are aware of the name, ‘cultural differences’. We think we belong to a different region so our likes and dislikes are different. We feel we behave similarly while living in the same group and follow the same religious teachings that each one of us living around us belong to. For example, being a Muslim, we think all Muslims are alike because they share the same religion. Being a Christian, we think all Christians behave in a certain way. Usually people living in one group for a long time, share many things together – they follow the same teachings, cultural aspects, traditions, customs and other trivial ways of life.

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