Emotions and Attitudes

When You Perceive A Negative Belief In The Name Of Positivity

Positivity is a universal trait and a common factor to enhance our well being all over the world. Every day we learn about positivity and try to adopt it as much as possible in our day to day life. We love to be called as positive parents, couples, children and positive members of our society. We by all means, fight with our negativity and try our best to achieve an acceptable level of  resilience. It is our utmost aim to live a happy, positive and successful life.

Unfortunately, our positivity is not a real positive thing  rather a cultural belief. In some of the cultures of this world, people are suffering from their positive (unnatural and false) attitudes.  For example, in the traditional societies of Pakistan, there are many beliefs that are thought as positive and people love to hold them as a symbol of pride and honour whereas they are a source of grief, anxiety, and depression for the other group of people.

Consider the following examples for clarification purpose:

In Pakistan:

  • It is very common to wish a baby boy for a young couple as boys are thought as superior than girls.
  • Baby girls are thought as guests in their own home. It is very much acceptable belief that a girl’s own home is settled after her marriage.
  • They are usually given less priority in almost all affairs compared to boys. It is very common norm to say exclusively to girls to eat after the boys and serve the others.
  • Some household chores like doing dishes, cleaning pots, washing, and dusting, are reserved for girls due to their very nature (low-degree jobs).
  • Many things like riding a bike, playing in a park, running a shop, riding a bike and dressing up like boys, are thought as boys things so the girls are not allowed to do that.
  • Most of the families do not allow girls to select their partner and they consider it a matter of their honor.
  • On the birth of a baby girl, mothers could be divorced, beaten, or verbally emotionally severely abused.
  • Some professions are taken as reserved for girls only (teaching, medical, and artistic) otherwise boys can join any profession they like to be in.
  • A girl has to obey her husband throughout her life (irrespective of his cruelty, tortures and abuses), as divorce is thought as a stigma on a girl’s life.

People do not accept the right of living alone for their girls as it is  too a matter of honor and dignity.

The list is never ending indeed. My purpose is not to highlighting the discrimination against women in Pakistan, rather to emphasize the idea that some of the cultural things are taken as a symbol of pride, honor and respect; people adopt them and feel happy in adopting them blindly as a part of their culture. They have no idea that their acceptance of cruelty would make the counter parts sick, dumb and vulnerable, susceptible, and unfortunate.

In the light of the above examples, girls feel extremely low self-esteem, decreased level of self-worth, lowest level of self-respect, and lose their self confidence in studies, social life, and after that in professional life. They feel homesick in the company of their own parents, they feel rejected and ignored at home and in society, they feel less powerful in the practical life ahead and in the end they compromise for the sake of their own family – usually children.

What is so positive in the eyes of the public (it is better for girls to stay at home) is not a fair decision. What is  so acceptable among society members (girls are guests in their own homes) is making our half of the population feel homeless and homesick. What is taken as a symbol of honor (you are the mother of boys) is making the daughters feel miserable and less worthy. What is  thought as girls’  sole responsibility (to perform exclusively household duties) is an example of severe gender discrimination.  What is  so common and good tradition of our culture (girls leave their parents on wedding day and live at the mercy of their husband and in laws forever) is making our daughters feel segregated and helpless in many ways. Indeed, these are all rubbish ideas, wrong theories, and false practices established in the dark ages when people lived in caves and had no education at all.

My stance is that one must not accept all the positivity blindly until or unless it is proved that the idea is worth accepting as a positive idea. One culture might involve something negative in the name of positivity. It is not always enough to say that hundreds of thousands of people are following one thing so the thing is worth following. NO. Sometimes, a wrong thing is followed by a large group of people, but the thing is wrong indeed. Thus, it is up to you whether you accept the idea as a positive one or reject it as it is. When a positive idea is positive, it spreads positivity. On the other side, when a negative idea is supported by most people and thought as a positive one- it will generate negativity, discrimination, inequality and resentment. There is no such universal formula that could define what is negativity and what is positivity – but you can save yourself from such messages through a severe negation as they stop you from being active, confident, successful, energetic, passionate, vibrant, creative, professional, empowered, assertive, decisive, happy and lively.

Thanks

When rules and values need not to be put through?

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We need rules, values, laws and boundaries create a peaceful society, to control our emotions and to have a little check on all of us for being honest, trustworthy, and disciplined human being. We, in all over the world observe certain patterns with respect to our safety, integrity and well-being. We as a nation cannot deny the rule of law over almost everything we come across, whether it relates to your ego, respect, and freedom of choice or it is a matter of your rights of living, schooling, and facilitating your health worries. We, with no doubt, understand the importance of civic laws, social laws, and moral laws, especially which are running in our local setups.

Now consider the following examples :

I still remember when I entered UK immigration zone three years back. It was in the long queue waiting for the check out while holding my one year old infant baby boy on my lab. Though my son was intact and seemed fresh, yet I was over tired with the long journey of about 15 hours,  while doing babysitting and nursing intensely. I was thinking that UK is a country where rules have priority over everything so I would have to face a long queue in any circumstance. Moreover neither me nor my son was sick to get some excuse. While I was thinking in these lines, one lady came towards me and took me to the front bench to sit and wait. I thought there must be some kind of punishment for me as I was from Pakistan( apparently a corrupt country ). But then I came to know that it was an honor for a mother with an infant to get priority over public  and leave the queue. We were out of the immigration so soon that no one could imagine.  This was not discrimination rather a great gesture of honor for the mothers from the UK ( the country of laws).

Usually we are bound to obey the road signs and traffic rules in Scotland. Police can put a penalty of huge amount if someone is caught by while breaking the law. However, I with my little son have enjoyed a free walk and crossing at any time, at any place without any obvious restriction of law as traffic from both sides willingly and courteously used to stop for us even in rush hours and at restricted places (where one cannot cross the road). It does not mean, we are illiterate or getting unfair advantage of our rude behavior rather wherever we stand for a while along the road, the traffic from the opposite side thinks that we are about to cross and stops. Sometimes, we had to cross the road unwillingly as the traffic was waiting for us to clear the road. How amazing and caring attitude indeed these people have!

My driving instructor told me about each and every rule of driving while saying that when there is matter of saving your or others life, no rule is more important.

In buses, trains, and parks, people give priority to others (older, younger, kids, women, special) voluntarily and leave the space for them.

Once I took my parcel back from the Royal Mail, which has already been sent to the receiver. According to law, no one could do me a favor but according to morals, one could get it back. I thought it is UK, so law would not help me out. I was wrong in that assessment as the people here left the law aside to get me out of trouble. I thank royal mail for their timely help and great concerns.

Therefore, laws are there to help us , to organize and control us, to create discipline among nations, societies, and cultures, to protect humans from animals or animal like humans, to punish the cruel acts and to flourish the empathy and sympathy among people, to save the nation from discrimination, nepotism, and inequality, to promote love, cooperation and justice  overall. But whenever there is a special need to break the law in rare circumstances, to get the same objective (described above), one must not care for the law and rather go for the objective. It is too one form of abiding by, strengthening and rejuvenating the law in real spirit. So when the law is the basic hurdle in cultivation of peace, break it or bypass it for your safety and dignity.

Stand By PTI For A Great Cause : Exclusive To People of Pakistan

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Torture, rape, shelling, bomb blasting, bribery, corruption, trafficking, murders, violence, abuses, child labor, slavery, threats, terrorism, nepotism, favoritism, and the never-ending list of virtually all social evils are perpetuating in Pakistan since long. The people of Pakistan, at large, are either victim of such crimes or culprit of all that wickedness. It seems as if the whole country is under some black veil of corrupt leaders and corrupt systems under which the ordinary public is being punished for not speaking for their rights and for being silent due to its feeble and fake excuses, lazy and coward attitudes, and lethargic clumsy habits.  Our economy, health, safety, and learning are deteriorating and we are turning dumb, ignorant, and psyche day by day. Is there any hope left?

Alas, there was not any hope until I realized the huge flood of people in front of Minar-e-Pakistan under the great leadership of Imran Khan. It was an unbelievably historic moment for all who are tired of sick news, victim of cruelty and injustice in any way, and who want a change! It is a symbol of hope for all of us as we, being a part of Pakistan, has had enough and could not wait for another century to welcome a miracle of change from the Unknown source! However, it would be the worse ending, if we stop ourselves from joining the bright crack of dawn in the immediate future. Shouldn’t we all come together to render the future of us and our generations in safe hands!

It is worth taking a step ahead in the campaign that would let you free from your basic worries: food, shelter and safety. Destiny is knocking hard onto your doors to come in and you are deep in sleep! It will not come again at least in your life to rouse you, recharge you and to draw you out of trouble forever. Therefore embrace the moment of change by your heart and soul and never let it go. Your stance at this critical time, would count a lot- do not underestimate it. Be aware that being part of PTI, would change your identity, sanctity, esteem, worth and destiny. Though you continue in doubt while not believing in your eyes, when things would begin exchanging!

I can see some shiny, gray, rays of change on the surface of Pakistan. I can see a bright sunlight behind the dark clouds that is destined to appear and embrace all of us with its warm, safe, and pure spirit. I can see that we are no more wandering in darkness and facing shame all around. I can understand there is everlasting peace, unconditional passion and eternal safety on the beach of wild storms, heat waves, and unforeseen tsunami! As the geographic history of Pakistan is going to reestablish, refresh and reconstruct in the light of justice, freedom and equality.

 

 

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The Secret Behind Your Choice!

Why the Nice biscuits are nice? I do not know if you think they are nice. Anyhow, there could be several reasons for them to be nice :

  • They are sweet
  • They are inexpensive
  • They are available
  • Some has brought them for you
  • Being a child, your mother used to offer them to you
  • Your friend likes them
  • You eat them for your stomach need
  • You think they are light
  • You think they are different in shape
  • You think they taste different
  • You think your mother likes them
  • You got them as a reward

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Would You Drink More To Be Out Of Trouble ?

We being a human always search for easy fixes, short cuts, and quick ways to fulfill our desires, wishes, and needs. We want to be happy as early as possible. We are quite impatient and inconsistent in achieving our goals to become successful. It is our nature and we fight with our nature to look mature, reasonable, vigilant, cool, persistent and tolerant.

I see people spending a huge amount on only entertainment: crazy sports, watching movies, reading fiction, clubs, dinners, parties, celebrations, shopping, and what not. I see people spend a lot on the things they do not need rather they think they would need. I see people spend a lot on luxuries as compared to their needs (after their basic needs fulfilled).

Have you seen people drunk on the roads, especially on weekends? Have you seen people in clubs, dancing, drinking, and having fun in a large number? Have you seen people in cinemas watching their favorite movies? Have you seen people in the markets while buying lots of stuff luxuriously and carelessly? Have you seen people traveling for fun sake only? Of course, you must have seen people in libraries lost in books too.

What is the difference between the two types: the one searching for happiness outside and the one searching for happiness inside. The first choice would never end: after each episode, there is another to watch, after buying one thing, you would need another one tomorrow, one drink this weekend and one for the next one, one resort this year and another for the next year. So there is no full stop, no satisfaction forever. You have to be engaged daily while pursuing your pleasures and happiness.

The second way is looking inside. In this mode, you are going inside- looking for some help, researching your problems and their solutions, finding new concepts to deal with, creating new theories to tackle and jumping in the sea of happiness that would leave its footprints on your personality forever. You are growing day by day – giving more life to your senses, body and to the world outside.

Suppose you are marring a man/woman who is just perfect for you. You think  his/her company would have a tremendous effect on you in the long run. You may go for it but risk is yours. You might not get what is in your mind – you might be wrong in assessing that personality.  On the other side, if you think you are strong enough to decide and live by your choice and the other person is free to live with you as per his/her wish and till the time you both are having good terms. In this case, you are not bound to live together forever with someone you do not deserve, as your partner is not bound too to live with you. In this scenario, both of you are not at risk: neither in union nor in separation.

Through a little analysis of the above example, we come to know that in the first approach, one is handing over its worries and happiness to someone else’s hands. Whereas in the second approach one is not willing to live by its partners choice, thus is more inclined towards its inner strength and will power.

When you close your eyes and try to forget about your problems, problems remain there. When you take your problems as your projects and work on them with motivation and determination, the problems start to diminish.   Similarly when you engage in time-consuming activities to forget your worries, you waste time. Though time is a good healer but it is not a good healer in each and every matter of life. Moreover, time healing techniques is not yours – it would play its role as per its nature. It might be the lifetime to heal your wounds! So would you waste your whole life for time is the only healer for you!

I do agree that time is a great healer but only for little problems. When you have got cold, you have no option except to take Paracetamol. Similarly in some tiny matters, you need to pass time and wait for the solution of your disease. What about chronic diseases? Should you wait and see what will happen tomorrow or should you go to the doctor to consult? Definitely, you should seek a doctor’s advice. So it depends on the situation.  Like medical problems, if your problem is interfering with your day-to-day life, and it is more than a month and your problem is persisting; do not ignore the symptoms. Go to some specialist and get some advice. Do not waste your time.  You cannot find happiness  in drinking, shopping, traveling, playing, watching or doing something to let you forget about your worries. As there is no quick fix to your psychological disorders, to get you out of trouble miraculously. Yes, you can find happiness through these hobbies, if you are already happy.  So first, become happy, then look happy, first deserve then desire, first feel then enjoy!

Do We Perceive Moral Values As Per Our Will?

What we Misperceive through our eyes, is not always restricted to our eyes. You must have seen many optical illusions in your life that represent different perceptions for different people. Nobody is sure for their reality. They change their perception even for the same person. Strange! But it is true. If you have no idea of illusions, then click the link below to learn more about illusions.

http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/

Today my focus is not on illusions rather the secret behind those illusions. First consider the following examples:

  1. Have you ever read a word according to your own mental picture- rice for price, money for enemy, sex for best and many others.
  2. People comment on the same product that vary a lot. For some it is amazing and for others it is disgusting.
  3. For one color, different people have different opinions. Some adore a color and some hate the same!

Thus we can conclude that we have different perceptions of the same phenomena at the same time. Even we change our perception with respect to a little change in time, our experience or age. One idea is brilliant for one person, and the same idea is shit for the other one. One article is worth reading for one, and the same article is rubbish for the other one. One man is the real leader for one party and the same man is a big joke for the other one. We have thousand examples to quote in this regard.

In spite of all that, we cannot say that a man is a women, a killer is a good man, a rapist is at right cause, a child is not innocent, a robbery is appreciable and all other examples alike.

There must be some limit in perceiving a thing in our own way. We can say that we love someone because of his smartness and others can say that they love the same person for his intellect but we cannot say that we love someone because of his cruelty.

In the moral world, things are more complicated and more illusions exist than any other field of life. One moral quote is perceived differently among different people. Usually people act upon moral education as per their own perceptual understanding of that moral thought. They use the context they think is suitable for that quote. They verify the quote in their own brain and act on that according to their own standard.

For example: honestly is the best policy. Now see how people apply this quote in their lives differently while thinking that they are following the message in the same way others are using.

  • A person pays the right amount to his workers and makes sure that there should not be any penny  up or down.
  • Second person thinks he should not get a leave while making any fake excuse.
  • Third person thinks he should not take advantage of his company rules.
  • Fourth thinks, he should be honest in front of his wife and should not hid his feelings at any cost.
  • Fifth one thinks he should not earn a huge profit from the things he is selling- normal profit is OK.
  • Sixth one thinks one should not advertise wrong traits of his products to market them at large level.
  • Another one thinks one should not tell a lie to his family about his income.

There are countless examples to quote.  The crux is that when we start perceiving some information, we interpret it in our own brain, in our own unique way, and apply in our particular circumstance. We definitely perceive very uniquely and claim that we are perceiving something like others. Whereas our perception is very unique by all means. The same concept, the other person is applying in some other field of life and claiming that the concept is his favorite one.

Therefore, belonging to the same religion, we behave differently, react differently, adapt differently to different circumstances, and feel differently on similar occasions. We think we are following the same education and moral values, but our perception is different. The way we adopt the teachings, is very much contrasting to others.

Thanks

Helping The Poor Girls In Pakistan

A boy is a symbol of  power, authority, success, luck, wealth and a stream of fortune forever. Being a boy means, having a home on a permanent basis, having safety forever, peace of mind with respect to parents love and care, having a continuous and unconditional love of parents and relatives, feeling high all the time only due to your gender identity. Though a boy needs to get educated, yet he needs nothing else. He needs to get educated and lead his life as per his own choice. He has to earn money and status for him and his family’s well being. But he is all in all in deciding many domestic matters. He is free in his movements- not afraid of being raped on the way going home. He is getting priority in all the matters, from attending  a luxurious dinner to attending a trip outside city. Boys are very much social in nature as compared to girls as they are more encouraged and appreciated in adapting that attitude. Boys are brave as per our culture. Boys never weep according to our cultural education. Boys should be respected, honored and valued more due to their gender as compared to girls. Boys should keep the money in their hands as they are responsible for their sisters (or female member’s) needs. Boys are free to living alone, whereas girls are not simply allowed to do that.

Girls feel, in such a society, that they cannot express themselves fully being a girl. They bear restrictions on their dressing, social life, education, liberty and freedom tremendously since the day of their birth. They are not well come, being a girl at home, in a family, and in the society. Their position is weak being a girl at home, as they are thought a burden upon parents. They are taken as symbols of honor that can be damaged through any sexual activity. They are not allowed to go out for a walk alone, as their safety is compromised. They are pushed to stay at home as their presence at home is considered  a safety precaution. Their primary responsibility is towards their family – taking care of others (usually males) through household affairs and making sacrifices for them. Girls are never free to choose their life partner of their own choice. Rarely parents accept it, if the partner chosen by their daughter is from high class and worth marrying.  Things are very complicated for girls. It seems, all are their well wishers, but in reality, all are only protecting them from the unseen and unrealistic dangers. That over protecting attitude generates feelings of low self esteem and worthlessness among girls. They live their lives under constant pressure of society, family, and the culture overall.

The dilemma never ends. When a girl is married, her all decisions are carried out by her husband – usually husband is the only earning hand. Girls, even after being mothers, are not thought as an influencer and decision maker. They have to live according to the rules of their husband and his family. There is no rocket science that you cannot understand. There is simply the abuse: emotional, verbal, social, and physical. A girl cannot decide how many children she wants. She cannot decide what career she wants to pursue. She cannot decide what is her planning of the future in terms of spending money on her needs. In most families, girls even cannot decide what food they wish to eat. For sports, girls are never encouraged to participate in. They are thought as the weakest part of the society –  a misfortune bestowed upon the people.

I salute them for living in such a society and smiling all day. I can see western girls being more independent, free, happy, energetic, powerful, influencing, authentic, intelligent and inspiring in overall all fields of life – as compared to Pakistani ones. My humble advice for our generation of girls is that to take charge of their lives, their happiness and their decisions. Do not rely upon anyone, especially when it comes to your life, your need and your pleasure. Seek your way to find your destiny, your identity and your future and be persistent in seeking that throughout your life. This is your war: fight or flight-It is up to you. But if you fight, there are ample chances that you will win; otherwise chances are that you will be caught and could not rise again.

Thanks

When  A Long Abusive Relationship Starts Flourishing!

Calamities are of different kinds: bad health, bad relationship, bad weather, bad results, bad luck and many more. We are always prone to divert our attention to them more than our fortunes: good health, good relationship, good weather, good results, good luck and many other goods. This is our nature. Being a human, we should save ourselves first from bad episodes of life, then should think about our good things. Safety always comes first . So do not worry about it.

When it comes to dealing with bad episodes, we need to think more. It is not always a quick fix when it comes to relationship puzzles. We for most of the time, cannot understand the other person from his/her behavior/gesture or attitude visible to naked eyes. We become such a fool that we even could not recognize our fault of misperception for years.

The question is why? Why the time comes when you start feeling regret? Why you waste your time in assessing your partner’s gestures and could not reach a better conclusion soon? Why you permit yourself to be indulged into a fake and critical relationship? Why you close your eyes? Why not, you take a step immediately, right after smelling something wrong?

In the third world countries, we know the answer. We respect our traditions more than our lives. We try to keep our customs alive than keeping our relationship healthy. We are bound to follow a path we are destined for. We, especially the women, are not economically independent and are not safe at all so we have no other choice except to accept all whether it is wrong or right. Women crush their wills, desires, wishes, wants, needs and spend a life that was designed for them either by their fathers, brothers or so called husbands. They do not play dead rather they are dead!

For the girls who want to learn something about the relationship, my advice is that, ‘ be alert’.  When you feel you are being cheated, stop there. When your sixth sense advises you not to go to the date- do not go. You should not try to become over empathetic when the other person ignores you for whatever the reason is. The abuse is abuse irrespective of its nature or deep reasons. The other person who is intentionally ignoring you, is not something to ignore. Believe me things either settle down at the time they are happening or they never settle down. Giving time to your abuser is equal to prolonging your disease with its worse side effects!

You know cancer is such a horrible word that nobody wants to hear about it. The relationship that we could not fix in time, will develop into a cancer in your heart and that cancer will never be re routed successfully. Unfortunately, you will have no time left to fix it  or It will be too late for you to decide about your relationship.

Therefore, If you are in the beginning and you feel that your partner is not behaving as per he/she should – stop there. Do not waste your time in judging and judging and judging. When you start living in your comfort zone, it is next to impossible to leave that. You become selfish, scary, hesitant, and passive with the passing time. Like a slowly effecting poison, you are taking your life day by day!

I do not mean that you do not compromise- rather I mean to compromise with vigilance and with full acknowledgment that you are doing it consciously.  We have doctors who warn us about upcoming diseases and possible precautions, we remember all healthy tips by heart to stay healthy, we take medicines to fight with side effects but when it comes to relationships, we listen to our heart and close our brain-eyes. We want to live in dreams and those dreams do not let us live according to our will. Therefore, it is worth keeping track of all your decisions and get tips from the professionals in time to save your future and its related happiness.

Cheers!

The Best Medicine For Stressed Parents  

 

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In todays modern lifestyle, everyone is stressed up, tired and bore,  especially the parents. In most of the parts of the world, parents are usually engaged in earnings and greatly tired when back home. Even if one of the parents is not working hand, he or she must be doing house chores and at the end of the day would feel strained, pains, and aches with dull and strange mood. Each one of us is suffering from some kind of anxieties so they will further boost the stress and play their role in feeling less energetic and rude to some extent. Usually parents are irritating and annoyed on trivial matters of children. They feel like to take a long, deep sleep when their children want their time!

Not all of you have the same situation so I will focus on the group who is especially stressful and full of anxiety and depression at the moment. However, it is becoming very common routine of parents nowadays to become more critical and less sharing with their kids. My observation is not different in this regard. I have seen many who just want to get rid of their day to day routine and want an escape. They are simply not ready to accept the reality of their situation that they are Parents now and no more kids!

What parents do when they feel low? Usually they take medicines, go for the therapies, and try several tips to return to their old track. They go for swimming, for example, go for a walk, go to the gym, go to yoga, listen soft and soothing music, change their eating habits, and do whatever their source suggests them to do to live a stress free life. The point is that all of such tactics are not wrong if they do not  forget one thing all together.

They forget that nature can never ever do something wrong with them. They, being a parent, are not blessed with only duties, responsibilities and anxieties. Nature’s blessings are  equal to everyone. It makes no sense that what a wealthy man can afford to relax, a poor cannot. This is especially not true with the parental stress. Nature cannot be biased in bestowing her blessings to its creation. There must be something wrong with us. We must have forgotten something very important and unique; so we are suffering.

That, something very important is, that the best medicine is the sharing your love with someone: your parents, siblings, your children or your friends. When you love someone, you are in cool mood, stress free and fresh. When you become parents you become more responsible and mature. This does not mean you cannot play with your kids. You need to understand that playing with your kids is not only your kids wish and need; it is basically your physical and innate need. Moreover, playing with your kid will reduce your stress hormones, give you more happiness, increase your oxygen level, boost your energy, improve your vision and memory and leave you with a refreshed and sexy human being. If you are suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes and any kind of psychological disorder, your time spent with your kids will help you to recover fast.

Here, it is important to note that playing with your kids should not be taken as going with your kids to the playground or playing areas. You should spare some time to play with your children every day in which you play a role just like your kid. You may pretend that, but it is the most important part of the game. Even if your kids play with their siblings, cousins, or friends, your role will never be compensated. Thus to become a loving and caring parent, you need to engage yourself with your kids as much as possible. It will not only help your kids to become a good human being rather get you away from present or upcoming diseases, sufferings, anxieties, and stresses.

If you have another point to raise in this regard, please do not mind commenting on it. I would love to reply you in my humble capacity.

Thanks

Fashion Culture In Pakistan

Fashion is not bad rather a need in today’s modern lifestyle. It is not limited to only dress out-fits rather covers all aspects of life from home-décor, gardening, cultural things, vehicles, traditions, parties, vacations, hobbies, professions, to beliefs,values, thoughts, priorities and identities. In almost every culture of the world, we can see it flourishing to some extent whether it is related to new trends in dresses, haircuts or tends in buying luxury cars, villas, or resorts. Unfortunately, in Pakistan, it has become a need!

Now the question is:Is fashion a need, a source of self-esteem, a status symbol, a sense of well-being or a source of low self-esteem, an unfailing desire, a cause of poverty, a feeling of lack? What is fashion in a country where more than 80 percent of the population cannot afford food, electricity, shelter, clothing, peace, education, and health?

Our country has not been developing for many years. We are facing many challenges: Taliban crisis, security crisis, poverty crisis and safety crisis. We have unemployment, crowded roads, filthy water, and no gas at all in many parts of the Pakistan. Still, we need fashion for our survival!
Recently, I have seen many places in our country and met many people in general from bottom line to the cream.People, especially, women are spending their most of the time in planning to wear fashionable outfits, striving to look like models in the fashion industry; they are interested in changing hair color; they care for their interior décor; they care for their bags and nails! Usually fashion takes priority when it comes to spend something after buy essential food items.

Fashion is not bad if you want to do it for some purpose. But if you have no healthy food at home, you have no money left for your health needs, for your educational needs, for your shelter needs, you are making a big mistake by adopting a fashionable lifestyle and promoting it at the same time.
Being a nation, as a whole, we need to think about it. We are not having enough resources to fulfill our basic needs (food, shelter, safety), and until our level best, are striving for looking good in the eyes of others.

Here are some guidelines to improve the economy of our country through a change in the attitudes of people:

1. Usually people serve their guests with as many dishes as possible. One must not serve more than one dish to the guests, whether they belong to close family, high status family or distant family.

2. In Pakistan, people simply do not like to re-wear the same item in the family function due to social and cultural pressures and honor’s sake. One should wear the same out-fit repeatedly to attend parties, functions, marriages, etc. Until it is worn out.

3. One should not spend a lot in using electrical equipments like A.C., Generators, or U.P.S., as none of these will be helping our country to get rid of electricity crisis.

4. One should not use any penny on anything non-essential whether it is an upgraded mobile phone or it is a new pair of shoes with jewels embedded on it.

5. Why wear a lot? It neither is in the favor of the economy nor is perfect according to religion. As per our religion, one must not exceed limits in any matter of life, whether it is a matter of money or matter of clothing. One should only spend on clothes according to his/her budget and specific need in the most respectful way- nothing more.

6. Every woman needs to work whether at home or out of home, whether paid or unpaid, whether for the sake of family or to the sake of self. No one should remain unemployed unless otherwise stated (due to some specific health reasons).

7. Luxury in food must be controlled whether it is related to domestic cooking or food marketing. In domestic cooking, simple and easy food should be encouraged, promoted and liked in general. Food marketing strategies must be refreshed and regularized such as advertisements of unhealthy products, offers of unhealthy food in restaurants, and promotions to invite people in some status symbol restaurants.

8. The security of one person should not be considered as the individual’s only responsibility. One must complain for other’s mistakes to the relevant authority for the matters like offending someone, harassing someone, looting, cheating or stealing etc.Similarly, one must notice dirty and filthy places and complaint about it to the concerned authority.

In the country where the laws and the structure of the economy is deteriorating day by day, people are usually encouraged to change their lifestyle from fashion to simplicity, from status to necessity, and from luxury to needs oriented attitude.Until the time, law-enforcing agencies take action and notice, people must do something to resolve their problems themselves. After all, we are suffering from the poor economy and its consequences for long. We should not be allowed to wait and see anymore!

Lastly, your opinion on the said topic would be much appreciated. Thanks